Bovine Sculptures

The Herd Overheard

2011-07-12T21:51:00.001-06:00

Claire (doing fancy moves on the elliptical machine): “Mom, look!”

Me: “Wow. What a great trick.”

Claire: “You should sell us to the trick store.” 3/25/11

(On the phone with her grandma, discussing Sandy’s upcoming birthday)

Ruby: “But how much will you be, Lita? ‘Cause I’m guessing you’ve run out of fingers.” 4/5/11

Ruby, telling me about needing to pass some jeans down to Claire:

“My legs are getting fatter; like yours, probably.” 4/13/11

Claire: “Mom, what’s a birth stone? Is it a stone you take a birth on?” 4/20/11

Claire, eating monster mouths (sliced apples w/peanut butter and marshmallows): “I call this marshmallow ‘Grandma,’ ‘cause it’s old and crusty.” 4/21/11

Claire: “Haley, doesn’t that dress itch you?”

Haley: “Yes.”

Claire: “Then why are you still wearing it?”

Haley: “Because I have to dance.” 4/23/11

Haley (at bedtime): “Mom, can you kiss me? . . . since I just can’t kiss myself.” 4/26/11

Me: “Did you know that chicks come out of eggs?”

Ruby: “We knew that for years.” 4/27/11

Haley, sitting on a pile of library books: “I’m hiding these since I can’t trust Ian. He will drool over them and ruin them all up.” 4/28/11 (“Since” has been one of Haley’s favorite words this last year.)

(Background: I have 3 different kinds of towels in the kitchen—each with its own use. Claire had just washed her hands and I was telling her which towel to use.)

Me: “Here. This one’s the hand towel.”

Claire: “Hmm. Which one is the foot towel?” 4/28/11

Me: “Is this Haley’s toothbrush?”

Ruby: “Let me see. . . I have a special way to tell. . . (long pause). . . if it’s ruined, it’s Haley’s.” 5/1/11

Haley to her dad: “I’m growing boogers on my shirt!” 5/1/11

Haley (proud of herself): “Mom, I hugged Ian like a normal person!” 5/2/11

Claire, obviously searching for something.

Me: “What are you looking for?”

Claire: “I heard something over here that sounded like a toad’s foot.” 5/1/11

Ruby: “I am a lazy bird. No one can stop me.” (Ruby went on to express that being lazy is doing nothing. Ever. All the time.) 5/5/11

Claire, showing me a tall stack of blocks. “Mom, look!”

Me: “Wow. That’s a big tower.”

Claire: “It’s not a tower, it’s a dad.” 5/7/11

Ruby: “Mom, it hurts my ears when Claire screams like a crocodile bit off her arm.” 3/10/11 (Ruby, you’re not alone.)

Ruby, pointing to the roof of her mouth: “My top lung hurts.” 5/23/11

(The kids are all in the shower together.)

Me: “Ruby, would you please wash Ian?”

Ruby: “Mom, I love washing Ian. It’s like washing a pig.” 5/25/11

Casey (After Haley runs into a wall): “What hurts?”

Haley: “My owie!” 5/25/11

At the drive-thru: “That'll be $3.05 at the window.”

Claire (with interest): “Did she say, ‘I’ll climb out the window?” 6/7/11

Claire: “Mom, I just love watching you . . . but it’s kinda boring.” 6/18/11

Claire, pensively recollecting a statement she’d heard after watching a ballerina’s dancing presentation: “She said she danced with her whole body, but she didn’t dance with her eyes or her lips.” (Pause.) “And she didn’t dance with her nose, either.” 6/21/11

Sharing what we’re thankful for, Claire is excited that Ian will grow up to be a man because he can get married.

Casey: “You should hope that when he grows up, he’ll stand up for his big sisters.”

Claire, nonplussed: “He already does stand up for us. Lots of times.” 6/25 (Do we have another literal thinker in the house, or what?!)

Claire, discussing love with Ruby: “I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love.” (Pause.) “But I might have fallen in love with Daddy. And I might have fallen in love with Ian.” 6/27/11

Claire, handing the phone to me: “Daddy wants to talk to you again. I think he must be falling in love with you again.” 6/30ish/11

Claire, commenting on the upside of getting soap in one’s eyes: “Well, after you get the soap out, at least your eyes will smell good.” 7/6/11

I was explaining to the girls several of the qualities of breastmilk that make it such a perfect food for babies.

Claire (with surprise): “It’s alive?!? You mean it can walk around and it has a nose?” 7/6/11

Ruby and Claire, playing “finding a baby”

Claire: “Pretend you saw me and I was so cute.”

“And pretend you took off my headband, and I was even cuter.” 7/6/11

The Herd Overheard

2011-04-03T21:39:00.002-06:00

Claire, after taking a bite out of a donut: “It’s like a Boppy!” 9/27/10

Ruby, playing with magnetic letters (as though they are people—nothing is safe from becoming an action figure at our house):
“We had leg surgery tomorrow. That’s why we tip over.” 9/27/10

Haley, as the blender startles 3-mo. Ian, making him cry:
“Mom! Don’ scare Ian a smoothie! I don’ wike it!” 9/30/10

Claire, tattling: “Haley hit me with a rock!”
(after a pause)
“It’s a beautiful rock, but that was unkind.” (Claire loves rocks) 10/13/10

Claire, when asked if the report was true that she’d scratched and hit Haley:
(Emphatically) “No! I did NOT! I only slapped her face!” 10/14/10

Haley (with a cold): “I need to blow my nose, Mom, because my nose is coming out.” 10/14/10
also: “My nose is running out,” and “I just have a nose in my boogers.” 10/19/10

Claire, coloring a fish-in-an-aquarium-picture: “This is gonna be mold at the bottom, just like in our bathtub.” 10/16/10

Ruby, wistfully: “I love pets. All I have is pet bugs, but I want to have a pet what could stay alive all winter.” 10/25/10

Claire, during calendar time, noticing there aren’t many more days left in October: “When we run out of days, will we die?” 10/26/10

Claire, after I was gruff with Haley: “Mom, you’re not supposed to do that. Remember, you need to let the peace of God rule in your heart, and be thankful?” 10/27/10

Ruby, having wished on a star the night before: “Mom, my wish didn’t come true, to fly up in a basket. That’s too bad.” 11/1/10

Claire, holding a wooden spoon from their kitchen set: “This is my gun. It’s automatic.” 11/1/10

Ruby, explaining to me what she meant when she came in from playing outside and told me she was “soaking hot.”
“It means I have tears coming out of me for having two jackets on.” 11/14/10

Serving the girls slices of the apple cinnamon bread brought by the neighbor:
Me: “Wasn’t it kind for Daddy to fix Sharon’s laptop, and wasn’t it kind for her to bake Daddy some bread?”
Claire, puzzled: “How did she make her laptop into bread?” 11/17/10

Claire, in pain: “Two of my ears are hurting.” 11/29/10

Ruby, coloring with me: “I still have more imaginations to color.” 11/29/10

Haley, singing (to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb): “Mary had a muffin man, muffin, man, muffin maaaan. . . 12/1/10

Haley, playing with her pretend camera (batteries dying): “Oh! My cheeseball is broken!” 12/10/10

Ruby, discussing our trip to Colorado: “It’s gonna take forever till we get to the ‘nother world . . . . . . Mom, get ready for this hard trip, because it will be a disaster.” 12/13/10

Haley: “Mommy! I burp!”
Me: “Yes. What do we say when we burp?”
Haley: “Thank you, burp.” 1/2/11

Claire: “Last time we went to church, I forgot my notebook, so I had to just sit there with my rock.” 1/2/11

Reviewing yesterday’s science experiment on matter:
Me: “Was the ice solid, liquid or gas?”
Ruby: “It had a shape and you could hold it. . . . . It was a solid.”
Claire (whose eyes have a light-bulb-over-the-head-look):
“Poop is a solid.” 1/13/2011

Haley, upon hearing the telephone ring:
“It’s Mr. Daddy.” 1/28/11

(While Claire and Ruby play that they are moms.)
Me: “How many kids do you have?”
Claire: “Just two.”
Me: “And how do you like that?”
Claire: “Good. ‘Cause if I had three, I’d be like, ‘I need to sell one of these kids. . .’”
Ruby: “If I had three, I would say, ‘I’m so nervous, I have to put one of you to bed.’” (For the record, I have never said either of these. ) 2/9/11

Claire (to Haley, who is wearing a dress-up dress): “May I have a turn wearing that?”
Haley: “No, Claire. First I have to marry to Ian.” 3/1/11

Daddy to the girls as they discuss police officers: “I was riding in a car that was pulled over today. Do you know what two people weren’t wearing in that car?”
Ruby: “Clothes?” (Also for the record, the correct answer was seatbelts.) 3/1/11

Haley (making small-talk while I change her diaper): “I don’t like to eat my poop.” 3/6/11

Claire (looking out the window of a crowded restaurant): Dad, Look! That person’s smoking!”
Ruby: “But they’re already old. They’re probably going to die soon anyway.” 3/3/11

Haley (stepping out into the pungent country air at a friend’s house): “Somebody pooped out here.”
{demandingly} “Who pooped out here?!?”
{more demandingly, as we make it to the car} “Who did it!?!?!” 3/14/11

Haley (pretending one action figure is speaking to another): “Do you know the muffin man?” 3/19/11

Haley (after having tooted while eating her lunch):
“S’cuse me. That was my carrot tooting.” 3/14/11

I'll Be Back Soon, Little Neglected Blog!

2011-03-23T00:13:00.000-06:00

My first Brio Birth series finishes up tomorrow. The fact that two evenings a week are spent on this (one to prepare, one to teach), coupled with the fact that Ian has gone completely high-need on me since December (seriously--it's like we have Ruby as a newborn again) and we're neck-deep in Haley's two-years-going-on-three-ness (which really, you'd have to witness to understand, and even then, you might think we're just not implimenting the "right" tactics, but the fact is that yes, we have yet another strong-willed child, and tactics only go so far. . .you'd have to have been there ) and the icing of Claire's leftover toddler vestiges (read: fits) revisiting us more often than they were a good six months ago. . .

[Deep breath in]

I am.

SPENT.

Completely.

All the time.

I hope that conveys a glimpse of what's been going on here the last few months.

Anyway, I just got on while nursing Ian one last time for the night (or so I delude myself) to read a few blogs (How I've missed you, blogging friends! It has been too long!) and realized that it is feasible that I may blog again soon. Got excited at the prospect and wanted to share.

* Disclaimer: If this remains the last post for another 4 months, finishing my first series apparently hasn't made enough of a difference. Please re-read the above and pray for us. No really. Please do it either way.

Hallelujah Chorus!

2010-11-18T07:39:00.001-07:00

If you have not yet seen this popular video:

http://www.philly.com/philly/video/106492678.html

Imagine being at Macy’s when 650 voices burst into song! I teared up just thinking about it!

For more about Random Acts of Culture, visit

http://www.knightarts.org/

Validation for SAHMs—The Job ain’t Easy

2010-11-11T21:10:00.001-07:00

Recently, I found myself in conversation with a few relative strangers. Talk was of a project and a timeline and the question was asked, could anyone meet the deadline in a few days? One woman piped up,

“I can’t do it. I’m off work tomorrow, which means that I have all three kids all day . . . ”

—and the clincher, (apparently, though I was surprised, since I’m not often privy to this perspective)—

“all by myself;

my husband won’t even be there to help me.”

She went on to say something about how on those days, all she can do is brush her teeth.

There you have it. Have you ever wondered if it’s just you? If this parenting thing is supposed to be easy, and is for everyone else, but you just haven’t figured it out yet?

Personally, this statement hit me like a fresh breeze: so other people think this job is hard? Okay, maybe I’m not that crazy to feel overwhelmed at some point(s) on any given day (and all day on others).

And it puts being able to have “all the kids all day” and also accomplish something more than brushing my teeth into the WOW! category (if you’re like me, all that may be is a shower on some days!).

Shortly after we moved to our current house a couple years ago, a neighbor confided to me that she was going back to work for the sole reason that being a SAHM was too difficult (she had two children: a four-year-old and a two-year-old). She told me, “I don’t know how you do it, but I just can’t do it anymore.” whispering to add, “It’s easier to go back to work.”

These two statements echo in my mind (I treasure them, if you want to know the truth!) reminding me that though the perception is that being a full-time wife/mom/homemaker is taking the easy way out, it is simply not so.

Hope these statements brighten my mama friends’ days, too; including former SAHMs (Mom).

These comments dovetail well with an article I read a couple years ago, from which I have this excerpt:

“So look, in the interest of truth-telling, I'm telling you this: people are not being honest about what it's like to be with kids. People are scared to admit that they would rather be at work than with their kids, because work is easier than parenting. (Notable exception: Sally Krawcheck.) If I have to read about how much someone loves their kids one more time, I'm gonna puke. Because we all know that parents love their kids. It's not interesting. It's not helpful. It's not even very relevant. For anyone.

“What's interesting is the part where parents love their kids but don't love being with them on a daily basis. It's very scary to write. But I'm telling you, if the feeling weren't ubiquitous then there would be no one to be in middle management working 9-5 because they'd all be home with their kids, doing freelance work after bedtime.”

For more (including a challenge to the myth of Super Mom; that one can do it all), read her entire article here: http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/06/10/the-hardest-part-of-my-job-is-that-everyone-lies-about-parenting/

Full-time parenting: effortless, no!

This Post has Pictures!

2010-11-08T00:03:00.001-07:00

The girls and I were invited to a friend’s for lunch while Casey was out of town this week, and this is what awaited us. I was so touched.

We had couscous with avocado slices and the best Panini sandwiches I’ve ever had: turkey, provolone and pepper-jack cheeses, sautéed roasted red bell peppers and sundried tomatoes. Delicious!

I asked T’s other guest to take pictures for me, because the presentation was so beautiful. T is especially known for her creativity and eye for beauty, but I cannot get over how easily this type of thing comes to her. She truly has a gift! One that I certainly do not have (sadly) but I do appreciate! It’s easy to forget how important presentation can be, since I pay so little attention to it myself, but this luncheon really reminded me how much difference it makes when attention is paid in this area. I felt so spoiled, loved and well-hosted.

T’s presentation didn’t stop with the adults: she had this cute table set up for Claire and Haley, and even made place tags for them! They feasted on turkey sandwiches and macaroni—YUM!

Here’s Ian close to a month ago, back when we were still spending long afternoons outside, picnicking on the back porch and playing in the water table. (It has since gotten colder and we no longer spend ANY time on our northern-exposure back porch!)

This water table was a great idea, Sandy. Thanks for pushing for it for over a year! Sorry I didn’t give in to you earlier. It has provided many hours of enjoyment.

My life. (To my housekeeping chagrin, this love seat spends little time sans laundry.)

Ruby is all about “doing” school.

Playing hooky under the table is more along Claire’s lines of thinking. I’ll nearly always allow her to opt out, and she almost always does, but once we go along without her, she comes back saying things like, “Well, I didn’t know you were going to use a jump rope!” It’s all good, either way. She and Haley are picking up so many things, just being around “school.” This last week, I often heard Haley saying the days of the week and once-in-a-while, she’ll get the pointer and butcher the months of the year or the alphabet, all bossy-like. It’s so cute.

I cannot. Stop. Kissing this guy.

For about a month now, Haley will pee on the potty on a whim. She (and the other girls) get a Skittle (yes, we have bought them in bulk!) whenever the fancy takes her, but we are not officially potty training just yet. I really do wait until they pretty much train themselves. No power struggles, no drawn-out stuff. It’s a battle I’m not willing to fight, and I’m okay with having kids in diapers for 6 more months than “usual” if it means we agreeably sail into total big-kid mode in little time.

Casey took the training wheels off Ruby’s bike last weekend. She loves how fast she can now go!

(Can you tell I’m just going through our pictures for the last month? Random, I know. Casey switched the camera from taking pictures in raw format, so I’m catching up!)

In lieu of really camping, we made indoor s’mores this week. It may be awhile before we camp again as a family. I think the last time was sometime after we had Claire.

Ian is now four months old. (And I still haven’t posted his birth story—I know.) At his well-check on Wed, he was 16 pounds, 10 oz and 26 1/2 inches. He is still a super-contented baby, but teething is now in full force, and he has been known to complain a little. Still sweet as ever, though. Two weeks ago, I got to enjoy my first time away from all children (2 hours: grocery shopping, but I loved it!). About a week before that, Ian stayed with Casey (napping) while Ruby and I grocery shopped for my first hour away from my sweet little tub of testosterone.

Ian sleeps through the night, and it is a wonderful blessing. Something I did not expect for awhile longer, but God was so gracious to have him start doing so at the beautiful age of 8 weeks without scheduling. Generally, he’ll go a good 7-9 hours straight. The ironic thing is that Haley has started waking for a 2 a.m. feeding every night for the last 2 weeks!

Yes, Haley is still nursing. Correction: Haley is still breastfeeding. No latching on for a few seconds here. It’s interesting to think that when I went to my Bradley teacher training in September of 2009 and was gone from 16-month-old Haley for 5 days, I sadly expected she’d end up weaning because of it. But here we are, over a year later, and she’s more into nursing than she was then! Never, never, ever would I have believed you if you had told me that I would one day tandem breastfeed. Would my sisters like to know what has happened to my cycle due to nursing two children? Take a guess, ladies. (It’s certainly not intuitive.)

The “Farm”

2010-11-01T01:04:00.001-06:00

Casey and I took the fam to a local “farm” on Friday. I put “farm” in quotes so that you will not be disappointed at the barren land that is the background of many of our pictures. (I am also choosing pics that will not reveal just how barren the land is, because it really is depressing.)

This is how it is when you live in the desert! The “farm” consisted of about 100 acres of corn and another 150 perhaps of pumpkins and gourds. That was pretty much it. Not much to sneeze at, but I am very thankful for one thing: all the acres had been bare ground (read, “dust”) whose topsoil had been blowing every spring and fall for years, straight across the interstate and right into our neighborhood. Sometimes the blowing dust was so thick, it was hard to see even 10 feet in front of us when we were driving. That’s pretty scary on an interstate! Several accidents had been caused by the crazy amount of dust, and the prior solution was to put signs at the areas’ entrance: “Caution: zero visibility likely.” If you are like me, you probably think that the planting of crops is a much better solution.

By far, the best part about this farm was that it was so close to our home, and that for most of our time there, we were the only customers.

We attempted the corn maze, but didn’t get far, and ended up coming out the way we came in. I didn’t mind not finishing it (making it to every point/station), but it was a little de-motivating to not at least come out a different way!

(Haley’s face cracks me up—doesn’t she look like a jack-o-lantern herself?)

Casey and the girls searched out a perfect carving pumpkin, as well as a little one. The crops had been planted quite late, so there weren’t any really big pumpkins, but that made the job of choosing easier.

Yesterday, the girls chose a template and Casey carved their pumpkin with his Dremmel (?) tool. A good deal better than a knife—it only took about 1/2 hour this time, as opposed to several hours. R & C chose “Tigger the Pooh,” as they call him. I am once again lazy, and am not downloading pictures just for a post (lame, I know), so I’ll post these pics of last year’s owl-carved pumpkin. Maybe next year, I’ll post this year’s pumpkin!

I’m glad Casey gets into this and is willing to indulge the girls. The girls love setting the pumpkin out on the porch and seeing how it looks from the street. I love that simple things like this can make their day.

Okay Kar, since you asked:

Unfortunately, I only did video of the “glowing” pumpkin, so that requires yet one more download (that I haven’t done). Ah, the complexity that technology gives!

Here’s a Random Peek

2010-10-25T00:53:00.000-06:00

Here I sit with burning eyes, runny nose, sore throat and a fever, completely unable to fall asleep. A lot has been going on lately regarding my “other occupation,” for which I have been very excited, and as a result of which, my brain has not wanted to turn off at bedtime. I hope to share about it more within the next few weeks. Wonderful, exciting news.

Case told me Sunday morning that I’d better take it easy, since today, he had several very important meetings at work and would not be able to stay home if I needed him. I told him I was pretty used to the SAHM not-being-able-to-call-in-sick position, and I wasn’t too worried about it, but as he had this cold a couple weeks ago, he figured it would get pretty bad and wondered if we should call someone to help me with the kids.

He reiterated just how important the meetings were and that he absolutely would not be able to miss them, caveating to say that I’d pretty much have to be hospitalized . . . but I stopped him short: “Do you really want to say that?” I asked. He only thought a split second and said no, he really didn’t, since last time (and the only other time, by the way) he had laid things out in such emphatic terms, I nearly ended up giving birth alone. We had a good laugh thinking what it could look like if I took him literally today: “Only if blood is squirting out at least 3 feet, and you’re driving into ABQ with an appendage hanging by a thread, then you can call me and I’ll meet you at the hospital,” he teased, snickering.

I’m going to just do the bare minimum today and see if we can’t make it until Casey comes home late this evening. Sigh. This insomnia isn’t going to make the day any easier.

Other than an annoying cold that has made its rounds (I’m the last to succumb, which is typical), all is well here. Homeschooling continues, albeit nothing like that first week. As Sonlight admonishes, I have tweaked things to what works for me, and what works for the family, and homeschooling now blends its way nicely into our day. The greatest challenge still lies in the discipline department, especially in regard to a 2-yr-old who, to quote a Proverb, “runs rapidly to evil.” (Okay, so maybe it’s just the cupboard with the granola bars or my bathroom drawer with the toothpaste, lip balm and Vick’s vapo-rub, or the diaper bag with the wipes and Butt Paste, or my purse with the mascara, eyeliner and lipstick.) Sometimes I wonder: where is the compliant child that is supposed to come along at some point in a family? Oh well. It’s actually a blessing that none of them are too compliant, ‘cause I know I’d get lazy and let a lot of non-behavior stuff go and just raise some Pharisees. (At least that’s what I tell myself.)

Perhaps Ian is the compliant child. Though I would never place any bets, seeing that in my experience, the more compliant the infant, the more challenging the child.

But he is a sweetie. Honestly, I can’t think of a time when I’ve felt “bothered” by him. He’s even brought an enjoyment to things I’ve never actually loved, like breastfeeding. And if ever there was a baby who could be scheduled, he’s the one. (But I don’t.) Nearly every moment of the day, he is the opposite of high-need. At bedtime, I can (sometimes) even put him in his bed, wide-awake, and he will coo and finally fall asleep at some point with nary a fuss. To anyone who wonders, “What?! Isn’t that how babies are?” the answer is no. They are not like that. If it seems normal, then count yourself very blessed to not know any differently.

Ian’s giggling now, and he rolled over back-to-front last week, despite not yet having rolled the easier direction. He hasn’t repeated it, so I’m likely to think it was just a fluke. But he does try to roll any time he’s laid down. Tonight, while I was trying to nurse him, he played a game with Casey, where he picked his head up and giggled at Case, then buried his face in my shirt. Over and over. I can’t help but think he is absolutely the most precious baby ever.

Ruby and Claire are doing well. They have gotten to liking school again now that we’ve made necessary adjustments. After completing the Kindergarten readers (27 tiny books with about 6-8 pages and less than 10 short-vowel words on a page) Ruby is on to the next level reader (bigger book with 8-10 short-vowel sentences on the beginning pages). It’s the reader I had started her out on, since it was below her skill level, but too many sentences on a page really discouraged her, even if the words were easy. It was a good lesson for me.

Claire is plugging along on the K readers, though she usually wants to read about a page every other day or less, and that may only be because there’s a Skittle involved. It’s funny how children fluctuate, because about a year ago, she was getting blending concepts very quickly, but now she’s distracted and finds blending difficult. I’m not pushing her to read. I just ask every day, and sometimes she’ll take me up on it, sometimes she won’t. Both of them pretty much do all the other “school” stuff together, and we all enjoy that. Even Haley is getting to where she will sit down for part of a story (if it’s reading her books, she’ll easily sit on my lap for a good 1/2 hour as I read book after book to her).

The girls have made friends with some neighbors that moved in during the summer, and it has been great to have some playmates for them. They are really sweet kids—I feel spoiled to have these particular children living so close. And there are plenty of them: 8 in one house. Two families. The circumstances are sad: one set of 5 children is being cared for by an aunt and a grandfather, due to their parents being drug addicts. Two of the children have never lived with their parents, and were addicted to meth at birth. My heart breaks for them. I am amazed at how sweet they are for what they’ve been through. The girls will play or talk with them at least once a day. It’s also nice because Ruby’s “best friend” was the little boy that lived there, who is about a year older than she, and he wasn’t really into playing with girls, so she’d have her feelings hurt sometimes. (Ironic thing: his nickname is Max, so “Ruby and Max” were playmates this past year.) These are Max’s cousins, all but one are girls, and there is almost always someone who wants to climb the wall and come play with them. For now, this is how it works best. Even though my girls will beg me to let them go to their yard, it’s usually more than I can do to hang over the wall to supervise their every move. Much better to keep an eye on them in our own yard.

We are hoping to visit the pumpkin patch on Friday, but a cold front has suddenly appeared, and we haven’t gotten out our fall/winter stuff yet, so we’ll see if we can make it before the nearby “farm” closes.

What Five-Year-Old Says That?!?

2010-10-12T22:59:00.001-06:00

This afternoon, I was pouring (special) drinks into glasses for me and the girls. All three were gathered around me with much interest and excitement. From the oldest came this statement:

“Mom, you’re cheating us. Look how much bigger your glass is.”

As this comment may suggest, Casey and I have noticed a trend in the entitled direction with regard to our children (and, I don’t deny the possibility that it may be happening with us as well—easier to see in others. :) We’re looking into ways to curtail such things.

As a family (at the dinner table, for instance), we often list things for which we are thankful. At the moment, nothing else comes to mind as to what we already do to help foster gratefulness.

Does your family have a plan of action in this area? Know any good ideas? Please share!

At the Beach

2010-10-02T01:40:00.001-06:00

Casey and the girls on the Pacific coast yesterday afternoon.

The Herd Overheard

2010-09-24T01:56:00.001-06:00

I’ll start off with a few things I wrote down years ago, when Ruby was little and I started hearing myself say some pretty absurd things. (Sadly for these posts, I have since gotten used to saying these strange things and don’t think of writing them down anymore.)

To Ruby (21 months), while in the grocery store: “Please don’t write on the celery.” --11/9/06

Hanging out near 4 month-old Claire: “Don’t let Claire suck on your toes.” --11/30/06

(In the back yard) “You may not feed her dirt!” (Claire, 9 months, in her walker, eating away happily.) --5/2/07

(Two years old, during dinner) “Feet do not belong in your macaroni.” --5/6/07

I have one thing written down that I found myself saying to 14-month-old Claire: “Don’t blow your nose into your sandwich.” –9/10/07

Of course, Ruby has had strange things come out of her mouth for awhile. When she was 2 1/2, she walked into the kitchen, sniffing, and her toddler mind deduced: “It’s not poop I smell. It’s muffins.” --11/27/07

One of the first funny things I remember about Ruby is from when she was about 2 years old. Case was watching an action-filled movie one Saturday afternoon as she played near him. She looked up to see a speeding car careen around a curve and flip multiple times, exploding into flames and finally come to a rest; a heap of smoking, twisted metal.

Ruby: “Oopsy-Daisy.”

Okay, on to the more recent past (it has been quite a while since I last did one of these posts).

A clear delineation between our oldest girls’ personalities:

Claire: “ Mom, do you know why I like to finger paint? Because I get to stick my fingers in it!”

Ruby: “I don’t like it because you have to stick your fingers in it. I like to use a paint brush instead.” --2/19/10

When we were going through this phonics program, I would have Ruby sound out a word, then use it in a sentence. Sometimes, this made for some interesting sentences. (*= Please don’t report us to social services.)

The word: “rat.”

The sentence: “Rats can run faster than a gentleman.” --2/21/10

The word: “mat”

The sentence: “Matt at church.” (A young man who hands out bulletins and often opens the door for us.)

Me: “Well, that Matt is spelled differently. This is a different kind of mat, like one you keep by the door to wipe your feet.”

Ruby: “But Mom, Matt is a ‘door Matt’.” --2/21/10

The word: “leg”

The sentence: “It’s like. . . you lost a leg.” --2/26/10

The word: “pick”

(You think you know what’s coming here? Don’t be too sure.)

* The sentence: “Someone picking a knife out of they’s leg.” --3/1/10

( Upon my having just ordered donuts from the newly re-opened Krispy-Kreme drive-thru.)

Ruby: “Oh, you’re so special to us!”

Claire: “You’re so special, we might keep you.” --2/23/10

Ruby: “Mom, my leg hurts like it’s Italian.”

then, to clarify:

“It burns like it has Italian dressing.” -3/16/10

Ruby: “When God saves my soul, I’ll be a good girl.”

Claire (scrunching up her face very seriously): “Uh, Ruby, I don’t know if that will happen.” --3/29/10

Claire, commenting on Haley’s diaper as I change it: “I think she go’ed diarrhea. I don’t think she’s out of the woods with her diarrhea.” –4/26/10

(“Her diarrhea.” This wording is not incidental. Haley had this issue for over 6 months—our pediatrician’s office said it wasn’t something about which they were concerned—seriously: they say it’s called “toddler diarrhea”—to which I wanted to say, “Oh, good. So you wouldn’t mind changing her diapers, then?” But I digress. It was such a regular (yuk, yuk) occurrence that at one point a couple months ago, she would warn me by telling me she had “di-yer-pee-you.”)

Claire (watching a bird perched near our house): “ I think he’s saying our new car looks cool to him.”

Me: “Oh really? How do they usually say that?”

Claire: “In their heart.” --5/25/10

Ruby, pulling a sesame seed off her burger’s bun: “Mom, could we plant this seed and grow a hamburger?” –6/13/10

Claire to Ruby (who was pretending to be a crying baby): “Shut that chunk of your face.” --6/13/10

Claire, gazing at her baby brother: “Mom, I love Ian in real life.” --8/19/10

Ruby to Claire, after having attended a baby shower with me: “It’s not watching a lady in a shower with her being naked.” --9/9/10

Claire (to Ruby): “It’s okay. I don’t matter.”

Me: “You don’t mind?”

Claire: “Mom, you don’t have to learn us everything.”

Me (can’t help myself): “I don’t have to teach you?” --9/10/10

And for any of you who are doubtful that we have a handful-of-a –little-girl at our house, I give you the following:

Claire (a no-nonsense explanation why Ruby is crying): “I was hitting her and that reminded me that I wanted to give her a knuckle sandwich.” (Oh yes, she did.) --9/11/10

Ruby, going through my baking drawer: “Ooo, a thermometer.”

Me: “That’s a candy thermometer.”

Ruby gives an excited gasp, then places the thermometer in the nearby candy cupboard, waits a moment, studying the numbers, then, disappointed: “It’s not doing anything.”

Ruby, singing a Scripture song: “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved; you and your houseboat.” (household) --9/20/10

(Which reminds me of some other songs she used to sing that gave me a chuckle—picture a 2-3 year old: “What a Mighty God We Serve” was “What a Mighty Godly Sir!” and “I Love the Mountains, I Love the Rolling Hills” was heard as “I Love the Rolling Pins.” Last December, “Jimmy Crack Corn” had some interesting lyrics, too: “Gimme That Bird and I Don’t Care. . . My Monsters Go Away.”)

Claire: “God made it rain to water the plants.”

Casey: “Yep. You’re right.”

Claire: “I’m almost always right.” --9/22/10

Guest Post by Ruby

2010-09-14T16:40:00.001-06:00

Hello, blogging friends! Home school is in full swing here, and that is a post all to itself. Quickly, I’ll just say that I have a new respect for homeschoolers (I always have respected you. I just do even more now.)

Ruby’s Language Arts assignment today was to dictate to me a story that is familiar to her. She picked Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Without further ado, here is her (completely unadulterated) version:

One day, the three little bears woke up and they’s mom maked porridge and the daddy bear said, “The porridge is too hot.” So, the mommy bear said, “We can go on a walk.”

They forgot to lock they’s door. Goldilocks looked in the window and knocked on the door, but nobody was home. She came in the house. Goldilocks tasted the mommy bear’s porridge.

It was too soft. Then she tried the daddy bear’s porridge and it was too hot. She tried the baby bear’s and it was just right, so she ate it all gone.

So, she tried the mommy bear’s rocking chair, but it was too soft. She tried the daddy bear’s, but it was too hard. So Goldilocks go’ed on the baby bear’s rocking chair and rocked and rocked until she broke it.

She tried the daddy bed, but it was too long, and she tried the mommy bear’s, but the pillow was too “up.” She tried the baby bear’s, and it was juuuust right, so she slep and she slep.

The mommy bear came home and the daddy bear. The baby said, “My porridge is all gone.” And so the mommy bear said “Sombody tried my porridge,” and the daddy bear said, “Somebody tried my porridge.”

Now they looked in the bed and so the baby bear saw that one and it said, “can you play with me?” but Goldilocks was so scared, she hopped out the bed and runned out the window.

E end.

This Morning

2010-09-01T14:55:00.001-06:00

The perfect sendoff for ‘Lita: breakfast at Weck’s for some papas.

On the back porch for a messy project. (Haley doesn’t have a black eye. I just chose this one because she’s such a goofball in it.)

Ruby did a little reading practice while playing w/moon dough.

Ian loves his bouncy seat. He’s transfixed by the toys that hang from it.

Gotta wrap this up. I’m on call for a friend who’s in labor. Not as a doula this time: as a hostess for her fam while she births at home. I need to leave in a few minutes to pick them up. The timing is perfect; if they need to stay overnight, the guest room is free again.

*Thank you, Sandy for the pictures! I’m so excited to post this! We’ll miss you!

Still Kickin’

2010-08-27T23:58:00.004-06:00

Yes, we are still around, and all is well at the Cowart household. It is a little de-motivating to think of posting any updates sans pictures, but I was thinking tonight what bad timing it was to have broken my camera when I did—just before I had Ian—and how my blog would surely have SO many posts by now if I had not broken my camera, and then it dawned on me that 1) Perhaps that’s thinking a little too optimistically about how much blogging I would actually do and 2) Perhaps breaking my camera was one of the biggest blessings at just this perfect time.

Let me explain: I’m not very excited about posting updates without pictures—or rather, I figure readers would want to see pictures of our growing boy and our goings-on, not merely wordy updates (yes, I’m aware of how wordy they get, and I’m over it). In my imaginary life, also figure that Casey will convert the pictures I’ve taken with his camera at some point, and at that time, I will post about that particular event (in reality, I have to admit, that will NEVER happen. . . the posting, that is, not the converting. . . although I do wonder sometimes). So, the result of this is that I have not blogged in over a month, and haven’t felt the need to do so. In fact, I’ve rather enjoyed my break from blogging—not even a hint of guilt.

Not only have I seriously tapered off in the blogging department; I have also been very so-so about checking e-mail. I even went a whole two weeks without checking/reading blogs and e-mail, and let me tell you, it was pretty relaxing. The Amish really have something there. . .

What I’m trying to say in these many paragraphs is that we are so enjoying living that we don’t have much time for updating. And I’m really thankful for my broken camera that forced me into being so-so about updating, because I have felt a wonderful freeness about the whole business.

Not giving it up though. Just feeling totally fine with updating sporadically. We’ve had so much going on (in a good way—not just busy-ness) with company in and out and enjoying the waning summer and watching our boy change and our girls’ crazy antics. I love having a newborn—it forces life to slow down and I really see my children and watch them. I laugh a lot more, and Casey and I exchange many more raised-eyebrow and trying-not-to-smile glances and take time to snap pictures the likes of the rose bud that Ruby planted in the dirt this evening (so we could grow a rose bush) or the third-of-a-page coloring book picture that Claire beautifully and painstakingly colored. (She showed it to Case when he got home that day, and he said, “What a pretty picture. Where’s the rest of it?” We explained that there was no “rest of it.” It was torn before she colored it.)

Even though I am with them almost every moment of their lives, I miss so much by doing stuff. I’m not talking over-the-top projects or activities or anything: just the daily maintenance of laundry, meals, dishes and the training and physical care of the children can keep my day busy enough that so much goes unnoticed. (In another way, too. I have become that mom that I once watched—dumbfounded—completely missing the disobedience, disrespect, naughtiness of the child standing inches away from her. Though I’ve seen no video documenting it, I’m under no illusions about it: I am that mom. There’s no way I’m not missing something.)

Still with me? I really didn’t get on here tonight to wax sentimental. My intent was to actually give somewhat of an update, so here goes:

Ruby lost her first tooth a couple weeks ago. Twice. Only minutes after it came out, it dropped from her hand and we haven’t seen it since. I think it may be under the refrigerator. If I could, this is where I would insert a picture of . . .

{Ruby sporting her new smile.}

Ruby is extremely helpful and responsible, and growing in these traits daily. Before Ian was born, she figured out how to get Haley out of the crib (safely, yes), and that has been a fabulous blessing for my hugely-pregnant-and-anemic-and-don’t-know-it self, on to my I-just-had-a-baby-and-need-to-reduce-stair-climbing self, and now on to my I’m-making-dinner or nursing-Ian self. That one thing alone has changed so much about our days.

We’ll be starting our first school year mid-September, and R & C are very excited to start Kindergarten! We have the curriculum all organized in a cabinet and have even started on a few things (so mom can get a feel for the teacher’s manual as well as gain confidence :). I had started this free downloadable phonics program with Ruby in February, and we have seriously taken FOREVER to do it (40-some units, and we’re just now getting to the 30’s—not how they say to do it, but I’m over that, too). Ruby can sound out many words, since by now she knows quite a few phonics rules (sh, th, ch, long vowels, silent e and many phonograms and blends) and nowadays, she’ll sometimes sound out words on her own (signs, labels, etc.—actually, Claire does this, too, though she does not know as many of the rules.). Counterintuitively, Ruby seems to really love reading single words, but open her (level one, super easy reading) book and she is NOT excited about reading. This is the opposite of what I have read and hear a lot, but I’m wondering if she does not enjoy it very much because she hasn’t become proficient yet, and loses interest because of how long it takes to read a sentence, or . . . Dread! . . . a page. I’ve thought of a possible remedy for her dread, and hope to encourage her that reading really is enjoyable: while I read to them aloud, I’ll stop at words for which she’s learned the rules and allow her to sound them out. That way, we’re making good progress on the page, and she’s getting practice reading while also maintaining comprehension of a more-interesting storyline.

Claire is doing better and better with self-control and in her attitudes and Casey and I are getting to know the delightful, creative, hard-working girl that was often overshadowed by . . . other adjectives (that, or she just didn’t have the time to be these adjectives while fulfilling the other ones . . . or maybe these adjectives were just manifesting in a negative way. . . whichever way, the change is a welcome one). Claire does a great deal of quiet busy-work. She’ll play with blocks alone in her room, or sit on my bed and look at books, or organize the kid’s cup cupboard. She loves to help me almost as much as Ruby, and sometimes even more. I can always count on at least one helper when I ask for one.

Haley also loves to help. Her specialty is taking clothes out of the washer and putting them in the drier. She still continues to display the obvious postponement of obedience-training, but recently we’ve been more able to turn our attention to it, and we’ve known all along—and even decided it would be so—that she is not as well trained in obedience as the other girls were at her age. Adding a third child was our apparent threshold: something had to give, and by necessity, we really narrowed down our battles. So far, a fourth child has not had the same effect. We are in such a better place than we were two years ago, or even last summer. Possibly because not just one, but two of our children are now older than Ruby was when we added a third, there are so many things we are able to do now that we could not do before, and it has been such a relief to find that adding children does not necessarily mean being more and more burdened. (We were pretty convinced of this notion until a couple months ago, honestly.) Even so, We certainly have our work cut out for us. Yesterday at a play place, I told Haley to come to me, to which she replied, “No, you come here!” (Our days are fairly full of such talk. There is sure to be at least one, "No, YOU. . . " from her mouth each day.) On the way home later, I explained to her that I could not give her something because I was not able to trust her with it. She began repeating, “I can’t trust you.” over and over. At least the inflection wasn’t argumentative that time.

As much as “2” is a challenge, it is one of my favorite ages. Kids say what they think, they don’t care what others think, and they are equally as expressive of the excitement they feel as they are of any displeasure. I find the flip-side of the “terrible two” traits quite fun.

Ian is 8 weeks now, and I am going be presumptuous and say that he is The. Best. Baby. I sometimes feel like all he asks of me is to be fed every couple hours. There is a little more work in it than just that, of course, but he is so far from high-need, it seems too good to be true. Makes me feel pretty silly for wondering how we were going to deal with a fourth. I had in my mind that God was really pouring it on thick (sanctification, that is) and it was just going to get harder and harder. Casey and I have been floored (and pleasantly-so) that Ian’s arrival has actually marked the easing of our struggles in many ways. In our heads, we knew God would give us the grace to have and raise a fourth, but little did we know that how God would do it was by drastically changing several things that by that time, we’d come to think of as “the way things are.”

For months, I had toyed with the idea of naming Ian something having to do with sanctification, since by then, we equated the words, “child-raising” to “highly-sanctifying,” and were sure we were in for the most difficult time of our lives (admittedly, I was figuratively flinching) but the day after he was born, Casey and I decided on a name that called our attention to God’s graciousness, not knowing that that is what God would be impressing upon us in these first couple months (at least:) of Ian’s life. Ian’s birth was only one of many ways in which God showed Himself faithfully gracious in giving us a fourth child.

It has been a joy to eat crow. Humble pie never tasted so good. It feels like we’re in a different season, though to an outsider it may look like not much has changed. God’s benevolence has been amazing for us to experience and observe.

Ian weighed 14 lb even at yesterday’s appointment. He’s definitely still a chunker, but he seems much slimmer than when he was born. He’s out of most of his 0-3 mo. clothes now, so I think he may have grown a lot longer (we haven’t measured him since birth day). He smiles and coos, and though he still sleeps a great deal (NOT complaining:), he is very active with his arms, legs and face during his awake times. (It kinda makes me tired just to watch infants—they make breathing look like hard work.) Last night, he had an 8-hour stretch between feedings, and I had the most wonderful 5 1/2 hours of uninterrupted sleep. He gave me a long stretch about a month ago, too: going 6 hours between night feedings. And at that point, the 3 1/2 hours I got was the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep I’d had in many months. It was so beautiful, I almost cried.

Casey started a new job about a month ago (within the same company, but a new position) and from what he’s said, it sounds like he will be busy and challenged, which should keep him fresh for a good while. This new position will likely have him traveling a little more (looks like once a month, instead of the 2 or so times a year) and, while that would have overwhelmed me only a few months ago, I see it as very doable now. He’s headed back to ‘Frisco for a conference in a couple days and is looking forward to the cool weather and great beauty of that old city (American-ly speaking, that is, Karin :). His mom is here now, so he’s not exactly leaving me to fend for myself.

My sister Deb was here last week, and we had good times trying to squeeze in deep conversation while caring for 7 children (4 of which were 2 and under). As one might guess, that usually meant staying up to ungodly hours. A small sacrifice. I was so rejuvenated by the week full of help, fellowship and stimulating adult conversation, we had a couple fun and productive days following her departure.

Have I put you to sleep yet? I almost have myself. Buenos Noches.

Dose of Reality--First Day Alone with Four

2010-07-26T23:21:00.006-06:00

Okay, I didn't want to post an update without pictures, but we still have the raw photo thing going on, and uploading photos/changing their formatting isn't exactly top on the list of priorities here at Casa de Cowart (especially since only one of us knows how to do this, and he's been pretty busy providing for and taking care of his family lately. Any grievances may be taken up with him :).

So, these photos are from July 4th. Some pics are better than none, right?

The girls and I survived our first day completely on our own today. Survival was my intent, and I must say it went much better than expected. We even got a few things done.

Mom left on Friday, after over two weeks helping us, and in that time where my duties pretty much consisted of feeding and caring for Ian and enjoying the girls, I regained perspective. For some possibly hormone-related reason, I have spent the last few weeks feeling guilty about many things, most related to my children and life in general--how quickly they grow, how fleeting it is--I really wondered how I'd do once Mom left and my job became more demanding again, since for me, this kind of guilt piles on the more I have to do.

So, today I decided my priority would be to enjoy the children and keep perspective. I would not have a list--mental or otherwise--of things I needed to get done for the day. My "one" goal would be to stay patient, keep a gentle tone of voice and use kind words. It may be hard for some moms to relate to me in this, but I like being real, and patience is a real struggle of mine--always has been (ask my mom :). This already being a struggle, combined with the life situation I'm in (Casey and I noticed last week that it isn't the number of children, or the ages or stages, or even who the children are, but the combination of these things that makes parenting quite challenging at the moment) and there's a good chance I'll be losing it at some point in the day.

But, today, by God's grace, we made it and had a GREAT day. It was truly wonderful. Even got some laundry, dishes, school and weeding done--all with the help of my 3 girls. Time will tell if my impression is a true one, but I do believe that four may be an easier adjustment than 3 was--at least when Haley first joined us. There are so many things that were harder having three three and under than they are with four five and under. I can see how people can handle more children spaced farther apart. That being said, I'm not exactly volunteering for such things :).

I had my first outing with all four by myself on Saturday, and it was also refreshingly stress-free. Granted, we went to McDonald's, not the grocery store, but even so, it was delightfully simple. So much of this has to do with Claire's maturing beyond the fit-throwing self she's been for the last couple years. She still has her moments, but most of them are at home now--hardly ever in public--and they are much (much, much) shorter lived.

Haley's right at Claire's heels in the challenging department, and she's giving us a run for our money. Bossy hardly describes it. Sass, perhaps, but that's still an understatement. Yesterday, Case and I had to not look at each other just so we could keep from bursting into laughter at the absurdity of this 26 month old taking such tones with us. (Last week at church, a loud guffaw escaped from one of the attendees upon witnessing one of these moments. My raised eyebrows must have communicated something other than the, "Can you believe this?" I was trying to communicate, because he immediately looked apologetic and embarrassed for having laughed--I had to apologize later.) She'll often shake her finger and be very stern, multiplying words and ending with, "K?!" (as in, okay? as in, do you understand me?). Now that Claire is doing better, the bulk of our training attention needs to focus on this pint-sized dictator.

Ian. Well I guess I'll finish the post with a little about our 3-week-old little man. He's a fabulous baby. Sure, he cries, but he stops pretty quickly when he senses his needs will be met soon. He's a hungry one. His one long stretch is about 3-4 hours between feedings, but he is otherwise very content and super sweet, so I don't mind how often he's hungry. And even though he prefers to be near me at night, he does not require being attached to me every moment of the night, as his next-older sister did at this age, so though it isn't the most comfortable sleep I've had, it beats what it could be. Currently, the evenings are spent marathon-nursing him until he's finally satisfied to go those 3-4 hours between feedings. After that last feeding, he's O-U-T. That's when I try to get my good sleep--when he's in his bed and I have all sleep positions available to me.

All that nursing is doing something--he was 11 pounds last Monday. I didn't think I could keep his weight-gain going as aggressively as it apparently was in utero, but it seems he's getting what he needs.

Ruby cracked me up today. She'd put on a CD of children's songs while we putzed around this morning. A few hours later, she came to me asking what that song meant about "pooping the ark." "What?!?" I was truly at a loss. She started singing to the tune of "Who built the ark?" (No-ah, No-ah), but instead of hearing "Who built the ark," she'd heard "poo-ping the ark" (No-ah, No-ah). . . I'm still wondering how she got that. They don't sound similar to me.

So far, so good. I'm really enjoying my four blessings. Determined to continue enjoying them, even if it means the house is so-so and meals are nothing to write home about. How I treat my blessings is more important than what I do with them, what I feed them, or what I "accomplish" for the day. Today, a simple, sweet, easy-going day was accomplished. I'll take that any day.

Ian's Due Date

2010-07-12T21:50:00.005-06:00

Glad God brought him early! Here are a few pictures from the first few days spent with our sweet new boy.

Proud Papa

Happy Mama

Big Sister Ruby (and big brother Ian:)

Contented Claire

Overjoyed Haley

Nana and her Cowart grandchildren

Technical Difficulties

2010-07-09T23:18:00.003-06:00

Ian is a week old today. Time is already flying! I'd love to share with you a slice of what his first week has been like, but alas, I am technically challenged. Since my simple little point-and-shoot camera is broken and we're using Casey's fancy one, I have no pictures to share with you. Case has the camera taking pictures in a "raw" format. To photo people, that means something more special than it does to me: that I cannot see any pictures until he changes them to a different format. And unfortunately, that means you can't either.

In addition to chubby newborn pictures, I have the sweetest video to share with you of Ruby singing to her little bro last week, but once again, my lack of being tech-savvy thwarts my efforts to keep you updated. Case got me a little (and I really do mean little) video camera for my birthday and I don't know how to add the video to a post yet. It seems I absolutely must use their website or YouTube, and I need Case to help me decide which one would be best and then set me up. And, as you might imagine, he has been a little busy lately.

Mom has been here since the 5th, and we are glad. Case was running low on patience after a few days of caring for me and the girls alone. I found it a little comforting, actually. To know that I am not alone in my struggle with patience with short people who freely express their sin nature at a moment's notice. And he'd only been with them for a couple days. It gave me perspective. Caring for several little ones is a challenging role. For anyone. Even very patient daddies.

Our church has been bringing meals, and that's been a true blessing. I think it would be overkill if it was our first (Mom being here and all), but Ian being our 4th, not having to worry about what's for dinner and how to make it is great.

So, a little about our week-old boy. Hmmm. . . . he's got hairy ears and shoulders still. Something I would not share with you had he been a girl, but I suppose someday he'll be proud of the manliness with which he entered the world. He's a sleepy guy. . . so content. The last couple days, I've been keeping a good eye on the time so he eats frequently. Seems he's almost too contented. But his skin is looking good and he's almost gained back to his birth weight (9lb 15oz yesterday) and he has more and longer awake periods each day, so I think he'll be alright. It is crazy to think he still isn't due yet. I'm so thankful God brought him early.

Anyway, this boy is precious. I just can't get enough of him. I never knew I wanted a son until I had him. I am in LOVE. So are his sisters. It's been challenging to give them all a turn to hold him several times a day (especially since all of them need supervision). The newness will wear off soon, and one day and then another will come where the first thing they do is not come to check on the baby or ask to hold him, so I'm enjoying these fleeting moments.

Postpartum Tidbits I’m Glad Were Shared with Us

2010-07-06T06:29:00.003-06:00

Nursing my little one. Casey’s had me in bed almost exclusively since Ian was born. Though boring at times (and sometimes lonely), I am grateful for his insistence that I rest. It truly speeds all aspects of recovery. How glad I am that my husband listens to good advice, even when it means a ton more work for him.

Thinking of this reminds me of the tips and advice we’ve gained over the years. Things I don’t remember until I’m going through it again. Here are a few pieces of advice I’ve benefitted from in the last few days.

After giving birth, mom is “Queen for three days, princess for a week.” (Queens lay in bed, princesses dictate from the couch.) My midwife with Ruby gave Casey (not me--this is key) these instructions, which he has followed since then, with few exceptions. It is, I believe, one of the best gifts a husband can give his wife. A gift she may not even want, but it will benefit her more than she realizes. Yes, this means that she cannot jump back into life right away. During this time she won’t be attending church or social functions. She won’t be doing laundry or loading the dishwasher or going grocery shopping or getting her other children breakfast.

I believe my quick and complete recovery from my births can be mostly attributed to Casey’s almost strictly following this rule. (I remember with Haley, I begged him to let me just drive through Sonic for some drinks so I could get out after several days of being home-bound. He let me do it, then made me sit on a lawn chair in the back yard as soon as I got back.) Any tears or swelling heals in record time, milk comes in right away (July 4 this time—only 2 days), baby gains back weight quickly, no milk production issues or breast infections or clogged ducts, and engorgement lasts less than a day (all of this provided baby feeds frequently). Placental site bleeding is minimal and short-lived. I might even be forgetting some things.

The other tidbit Suzanne gave Casey is, “when the milk flows, so will the tears.” This was especially helpful when my milk came in with Ruby and I found myself crying buckets for no particular reason (yes, engorgement hurts, but am I that upset about it?). Remembering this phrase helped me to just let the tears flow freely and not try to think of a reason. It also kept Casey from worrying what was wrong with me.

A few other helps for the days after delivery:

Olive oil on baby’s bum makes cleaning off meconium so much easier.

Honey on pads is soothing and healing.

Disposable diapers make nice ice packs for swelling.

Air and light to the perineum facilitates healing.

Frequent feedings and sunning a naked baby quickly eliminates jaundice.

Anyone out there have another tidbit to share?

Bubba’s Got a Name

2010-07-03T12:36:00.001-06:00

And it’s not Bubba. Or Moose (but thanks for the suggestion, Mom).

Oh, and my apologies to friends who know not of what I speak. After we were done w/family calls yesterday, we were pretty much ready to settle down and enjoy our new. . .

Tub of lard.

All ten pounds, two ounces of him.

Born 7/2/2010, 2:40 p.m. (Yes, we made it home. . . only with the help of friends!)

22 1/4 inches long.

Delivered by Mommy.

Caught by Daddy. (Sticky shoulders and all. Midwife arrived 5 min. later.)

And the name is:

Ian Casey

Ian: God is gracious.

Casey: Brave.

More details to follow.

I’ll leave you with a few quotes from his three big sisters:

Ruby, yesterday evening: “May I please hold that little man again?”

Claire, on the phone with Lita (supposed to be telling about her little bro): “Guess what Lita? We are eating ice cream! Oh, and guess what we got today? Fireworks!” (No mention of the baby till Sandy asked if she had a brother.)

Haley, clearly as out-of-her element with babies of the male persuasion as the rest of our family (pointing to Ian’s diaper): “She’s panties!”

Is Your Wife Due

2010-07-02T06:21:00.003-06:00

. . . This afternoon?

One day shy of 38 weeks, I laughed when Case told me a stranger had asked him this question as we’d entered a restaurant and I left him to order while I took the girls to the bathroom. While in that bathroom, I had caught a sideways glance of myself and shook my head at how ridiculous my belly looked.

Even with my “new” maternity tops (the ones bought because my other ones were showing belly) I am once again showing belly. No matter the tugging and adjusting, I’m simply too big for these tops as well. It works out well that I only have a little time left, and frankly, I’m not caring as much anymore.

You may notice I’m using Casey’s camera for these pics. I dropped and broke mine last week as I got a cute video of Haley playing “drive-through” with her high chair. Looks like we’ll be using this camera for our birth and newborn pictures. . . I hope I can finally get the hang of this camera and not take only blurry pictures of our new baby.

Time is ticking away. Some friends of mine took the girls yesterday for a few hours while I stayed home and did some much-needed paper sorting and organization. We also had a false alarm early in the morning that I might be going into labor. One of many, I’m guessing. Today’s not much different, except that I sent Case to work at the usual time. Figure I’ll go on with our plans to attend a friend’s luncheon and meet him at home if things really start to pick up. I’ll be posting more about the prodromal part of the last few weeks on my other blog, if you’re interested in the details. Anyway, I’m not holding my breath that today’s the day. Or tomorrow or the next, for that matter. Managing expectations is key for me in many areas of my life, and labor is no exception. At any rate, we’ll be meeting our little guy soon enough!

While I Was Gone . . .

2010-06-14T08:09:00.002-06:00

There was a time when Casey would take advantage of me being out of town and catch up on some small home improvements or surprise me with getting a huge project done. One time, I remember he spent the weekend tearing out about 30+ feet of overgrown juniper bushes at our old house (I’m allergic, and it was a real gift for him to do it while I was gone). Other times, he has torn out decking, painted, replaced light fixtures, installed door frames, and built and cleaned numerous things . . .

But that was before children, or if it was after, it was because I AND the girls were gone. Naturally, having done it myself, I do not have in my expectations when I leave him with all three that he will get anything done, save keeping them alive and thriving. So, imagine my surprise when my hubby and girls pick me up at the airport IN A MINIVAN.

We do not own a minivan. Well, at least, when I left, we didn’t. I was gone 5 days. It was enough to ask Case to care for three children five and under alone for that long. I even thought it a little much to offer/ask that he take them to a birthday party one of the afternoons, and was surprised to hear over the phone that he did indeed take them (little did I know what else he had done!).

As we arrived home from the airport, the girls had a surprise for me. They took me to their playroom (what we call the closet under the stairs), which I see is completely empty and partly painted (Something I had wanted to do myself right before I got prego last fall, and something I really wanted to have done before baby got here—Case didn’t even know this. He just knew we’d planned on painting it at some point.) He wanted to have it finished by the time I got home, but he discovered one of the colors we planned to use was completely dry. ( The situation has been remedied, and the project continues at our leisure.) Already, I love looking at the clean, crisp pink wall that peeks out at me when the girls leave the door open.

Yet another surprise awaited me as I went upstairs that night. The accent wall in our bedroom is painted a beautiful khaki/tan color (called “toasted wheat”). I have NEVER liked the original color of our bedroom, and most especially that accent wall (colors were peach and rust—too southwestern for my taste). A few weeks ago, I told Case if we did any painting before baby arrived, it should be that wall. I did not want to have that color as a background for another birth video.

Falling asleep that night, I was again grateful that Casey had chosen to paint this particular wall while I was gone. The fumes were barely noticeable.

But that was not all Case had done in those five days! He also painted two walls in our bathroom (by the tub—which will come in handy for labor and mental relaxation:) that same toasted wheat (was also peach—neither of us were fans). And, as it would not have been much of a blessing for Casey to saddle me with a new vehicle that had yet to be registered (knowing some errands—like grocery shopping—needed to be run right away when I returned), he also took all three girls to the MVD and took care of that for me. I had a new van and didn’t have to lift a finger! I’m still amazed that he did all this while I was gone. Who shops for a car with 3 young children? And who shops for a car by himself with 3 young children? And this is the guy who regularly thinks I’m crazy for going grocery shopping or to the post office with them. Yet he goes off and buys a car with them in tow? I believe he may be the crazy one. Maybe crazy in love? :) Whatever it is, I’m not complaining!

So, “When,” you might ask, “did Case accomplish all this stuff?” Some with the girls’ help (he got some pics of them painting their playroom), but mostly after they’d gone to bed. I’m impressed. It’s enough of a job to care for their daily needs alone, but to also accomplish several projects outside that? What can I say? My hubby’s a go-getter!

I’m really enjoying our “new” Odyssey. It is low to the ground and the girls can easily climb in . . . and. . . buckle themselves without problems. Haley can crawl into her seat without as much trouble, and I don’t have to break my back lifting her or buckling her into it. I also don’t have to hoist my huge-and-splitting self up into my own seat. A nice plus at this point in pregnancy.

Other perks: air conditioning vents for all three rows of seats—the last two rows have ceiling vents. The Pilot did not have this. Ask any of our guests who have had to ride in the back of the Pilot in hot weather: this is huge.

And what mom of young children does not appreciate that minivan doors do not swing open, but rather slide, so as to accommodate an infant car seat between tight parking spaces? Not to mention the rule we’ve had for our entire parenting career with the Pilot: DO NOT OPEN THE DOORS WITHOUT PERMISSION!!!! See, children aren’t always the most observant and careful of creatures. Add the fact that wind is fairly ubiquitous here in certain seasons, and you’ve got a recipe for lots of banged-up cars around you. Okay, another perk is that the doors are automatic, and that’s pretty great. Especially to save face when the grocery bagger assists me to the car, and I don’t remember which row I was in . . . and there seem to be several white minivans around. “There mine is—the one with the door that’s opening.” :) (Okay, so he knows I’m a total space cadet, but still . . .)

No, it isn’t as “cool,” is older, doesn’t have 4WD or leather seats or a DVD player, doesn’t have the perfect-height diaper changing platform in the back hatch, and actually seats one LESS than the Pilot did, but really, this is a huge upgrade in the practicality department! Case was a little unsure I would be pleased with the surprise (we’d talked about getting one since I got prego this time, and I mentioned several times how much I loved the Pilot and how much I would miss the great things about it), but I’m glad he did it this way. Ripped the band-aid right off.

Strangely enough, on a family outing last weekend, Case told me he felt slightly embarrassed at the gas station to be filling up a minivan. So, I guess I’m not the only one who has to adjust. I offered to trade seats and drive, but he said there wasn’t a more emasculating thing he could think of. Being driven in a minivan by his wife. Kill him now. The tables have certainly turned since 7 1/2 years ago when we were dating and I told him I couldn’t see myself driving a minivan (go straight from the car to the full-size van), and he couldn’t see what the big deal was.

We had fun as a family getting the Pilot ready for sale. Case and I cleaned it inside and out while the girls played in buckets of soapy water on the lawn. Good times. It took a good 3 evenings of elbow grease to make it beautiful enough to sell. As of last week, we are Pilot-less. And my heart doesn’t even ache.

One Month, More or Less

2010-06-12T22:41:00.002-06:00

Would you believe I have to keep telling myself that, just because I’ve been “early” with the other three, I have no assurance that this baby will be early or even—ahem—“on time.”

One month from today, this baby is due. As I have wondered aloud at times, I have a hard time thinking I can possibly make it another month in my present condition. Another trimester, another 8 weeks, another 6 weeks . . . Yet, I am pregnant at this moment, and a couple months ago, I wondered how I could make it even this much farther. God is good and His grace is sufficient.

Between heartburn, strong and frequent contractions, pulling ligaments, sleep deprivation/physical exhaustion, pelvic pain (this chicken is split, baby) and the sheer weight of my growing self, (I weigh more than I ever have in my life at this moment and boy, can I feel it! Another few weeks of weight gain like my last couple prenatal visits and I’ll surpass my husband who usually outweighs me by 60+ pounds. . . EEK!) it is very difficult for me to believe I will actually survive until the due date.

But, by God’s grace, we’ll make it to July. I shake my head at how pitiful things may be by then, since I already have to take a rest after climbing the stairs (I’m talking an ACTUAL rest—where I go lay on my bed for a good two minutes, not just take a breather right there on the landing), I often sit on my kid’s stepstool to prepare meals, and doing laundry nowadays means I’m squatting or tailor-sitting to load or unload the machines. Standing has not been a usual or favored posture for the last few weeks now. Essentially, I have “stations” that I switch throughout the day, and usually don’t move from one to the other without a good 5-10 minute break. I hope I’m conveying the all-time low my energy level is at right now.

If I had to mark an actual start, prodromal labor began last Thursday (34 wks, 3 days), when contractions were strong, long (one minute+) and 5-10 minutes apart all day (except for the last several hours of the day, where they were 2 minutes apart) and accompanied by straining broad and round ligament pain (back and leg labor) that got worse during, but did not let up between contractions, which is pretty normal, in my experience. (By 5-10 minutes apart, I mean that for chunks of the day, ctx were about 5 min apart, and for chunks of the day, they were closer to 10. In whatever chunk I was in, the frequency was pretty regular.)

Thankfully, I have not had another day quite like that until today, over a week later, so the frequency at which I am experiencing “bouts” of prodromal labor is fairly doable. (Even though I didn’t exactly think that last Thursday, but that day, I was dragging myself along, thinking, “I can’t do this for 6 weeks!” . . . and what do you know? I wasn’t being asked to.). Today, I have not had the ligament pain, just the strong and frequent contractions (3-5 minutes apart), coupled with feeling puny and very achy in the tummy region. This morning, I mistook it for a stomach ache, till I realized my stomach was not where I felt the aching (i.e. all over my belly—but separate from the contractions which I also feel all over my belly). I’m guessing it is abdominal muscle fatigue, but not sure. It just hurts, contracting or not.

I should note that what makes me put these days into a “prodromal” category is that I have more and stronger ctx than on a usual day. A usual day for the last couple months has been some number of hours of ctx 10 min apart or less. It has been months since an hour has gone by where I have not had a contraction. In fact, I would venture to say that it has been over a month that a decent contraction hasn't caught my attention at least every 20-30 minutes. This is definitely true for waking hours, and may also be true for sleeping ones, since I am awakened many times at night by them.

So, as Monday marks the completion of my 36th week, I am putting together all the home birth supplies, and packing my “in-case-of-transfer” bag as well as finishing up my “I-C-o-T” birth plan. I have not done either of the latter two things before, but I have this feeling that I am going to end my personal birthing career with a bang, and want to be prepared for whatever that may be. The birth plan consists of mostly post-partum things (no pacifiers/bottles; no bath, eye ointment, vaccinations, etc.) but I will also include a few labor things, such as, “If baby needs to come out right away, please tell me this. Please do not yell at me to PUSH!!” as well as asking for the cord not to be cut until the placenta has been delivered, and that delivery being a natural one(no yanking!), since this seems to be so prevalent in hospital deliveries around here. Are there doctors out there who know how to manage the normal (non-pitocin-hastened) delivery of the placenta? I cannot count on having one, and I do not care to have an iatrogenic uterine prolapse, thank you.

That’s about it in the prego dept. And for those of you who couldn’t care less about the prego dept, I’ll leave you with a few recent pics.

The girls and their cousin, Savannah at the zoo on Tuesday.

My sis-in-law, Tiff (with Elijah), is my zoo-buddy. There is no way on earth I would have attempted a trip to the zoo 9 months prego in the heat of summer without her! (It got over 100 degrees several days this week.) We only made it to a few exhibits before eating our picnic and heading out. I was spent for the rest of the day.

As would make sense on a blazingly hot day during the seal/sea lion feedings, Haley took a rest on the concrete.

This afternoon, Haley got into the spice drawer. I was relieved that it was the paprika, not the cayenne pepper she’d opened!

Last Hurrah

2010-05-25T22:18:00.002-06:00

Lots to catch up on here. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with what I’d like to post and how that will likely end. It is common for me to intend to post something, even start that post, then promptly decide I do not have the time to finish it. Let’s just say I have quite a few “drafts” in my queue.

So, I’m going to be crazy and go chronologically, even though it probably means I’ll burn out half-way through and you will not read anything about Casey’s time with the girls or Haley’s birthday. Sad, I know.

Over a week ago now, I flew to Rhode Island for a “Four Sisters” reunion.

Over Christmas, my sister, M, commented that we three sisters near each other should all go to RI to visit our “far away” sis before she and I had our babies and she relocated to who-knows-where after her hubby’s post-doc. position ended this summer. Little did we know at that time that K and A would be accepting another position even farther away in GERMANY!

So it worked out so perfectly that we had already planned a “last hurrah” before we were aware of the subsequent move to Germany. (Side note: at Christmas, I had expressed to Casey my desire to be part of this, referring to it as a “last chance” trip. This term was very bothersome to him until I clarified that once I give birth, I am essentially “chained”—not the most positive descriptor, but a very true one, given my lack of pumping giftedness—to my baby for at least six months at which time I may be able to leave for even a few hours, and it would be at least a year before I would be able to leave overnight or for several nights. Case and I have both flown/traveled enough with little ones to know it would almost not be worth such a trip if I were to take a baby. Two of us sisters were expecting, but none of us had tiny babies, and that may not happen again for awhile. Add the fact that where Karin currently lives is quite beautiful and fresh and exciting to those of us westerners, and Case began to see that I did not mean “last chance” literally, as in, we-sisters-will-never-be-able-to-see-each-other-again-if-we-don’t-do-it-now, but rather that we should seize the moment while the timing was as perfect as it was.)

So, I hopped my pregnant self onto a plane on Thursday afternoon (With only about a dozen comments/questions on my “state”—thankfully, Southwest has no actual policy on flying while prego—just that they “discourage it” within 14 days of the due date. In the days leading up to the trip, I had several people ask if the airline would “let me” on the plane.)

Karin and my other sisters who had flown in earlier from Denver came to pick me up and take us to our hotel. What followed was a great four days of catching up, sight-seeing and taking it easy (for some of us—Kar was still wife, homemaker and mom for the weekend, although “abbreviated:)”, and Deb was also momming it with her 10 month old, but I believe we all felt some amount of relaxation). I did feel spoiled as the one who was told to put her feet up, while Kar--also expecting--swept, made meals, washed dishes, and cared for us, her home and family. Deb and M pitched in while I lifted my cankles (seriously—I have never had such swelling—good thing I am now back to real life! It may just be dangerous to have so much fun!).

It was a wonderful few days together. I can’t believe how quickly it was over, and how long ago it seems now. I am thankful for my hubby’s insistence on taking a day and a half of vacation to care for the girls so I could go for longer than a weekend. That would have been ENTIRELY too short, with all the travel time involved. As it turned out, caring for the girls was just one of several things he did while I was gone, to my delight (and astonishment!) That post will have to wait till later, though.

Taking me to the airport. Sandy, I don’t think it was you—I think Claire just gets tired enough at this time of day that she’ll fall asleep in the car. She wasn’t awake to see me off, either!

My sis loved this sign.

My meal at the Wharf Tavern. Yum. My nephew Alan is in the background.

On the wharf after dinner. All hazy and romantic. Those first couple days, I could not see a flaw in ANYTHING in RI! Soon enough, I did begin to notice that they, too, have things like litter and bugs and such. The scenery is so different than what I see every day. So naturally, I saw it as beautiful.

Saturday, Karin’s church put on a ladies tea, so we joined in the girliness.

We enjoyed great sandwiches at the Newport Creamery (Yes, Brian. That’s in Newport.)

M. at the walk in Newport (I don’t remember what it was called, K!) overlooking the Atlantic ocean. All that way, and none of us put so much as one hairy little toe into the water.

Karin (middle) is also prego. Due end of July.

My three beautiful sisters in front of the gate at The Breakers in Newport.

We celebrated “little” Alan’s birthday the day I left. Possibly a very rare occasion for his aunties to be able to celebrate w/him.

This boy was entirely too clean for having eaten chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Very methodical and careful. Where are the fun pics in that?!

Okay, already 3 days have passed since I started this post, so I’m going to post one more pic and call it good. I’m leaving out so much, but oh, well.

Right before Karin took me to the airport, M took this belly shot of us. Karin is 30 weeks exactly in this pic, and I am 32 weeks exactly.

Un Random Update

2010-05-05T23:39:00.016-06:00

Just a little about things going on around here lately. . .

We now have 5 new trees growing in our backyard. Wish we'd had them planted when we first moved here. They might've given us some shade by now!

I'm looking most forward to enjoying the globe willow's shade in a couple years.

This evening marks when we FINALLY turned on the air conditioning. Case (is every man like this?) had a goal to make it to May 1 before we resorted to cooling ourselves by such means. Before the crazy cold snap last week, we were laying under ceiling fans as the thermostat registered 84+ degrees. I actually welcomed last week's freezing rain. (But not so much the 90 mph winds that drove piles of fine dust through our closed windows.)

We had class 8 tonight (Bradley), so we thought it would be nice to let our almost-due couples have a cool environment in which to learn about variations of labor and possible complications. (Want to watch a cesarean video in an 80+ degree room, anyone?) One of our students had just witnessed her first labor (not hers--her first to witness) and told us a great story of prodromal labor . . . ending in the unmedicated birth of a healthy baby! I'm excited to hear more.

Let's see. . . last Thursday, the girls and I made it to an unofficial church play date at a local business that is like a coffee shop and a play place in one. We've been there a couple times. The girls really love it. I don't think the business will last long--we've been some of the only customers when we're there--but it is such a great idea. I really want to support them as long as they're open.
Over the weekend, we made our family pilgrimage to Costco (I don't know how I've talked Case into coming to help me with the shopping here several times now. I think I might be throwing my weight around. . . or maybe just my belly.)
These girls. . . I guess it's too much to ask that they all look my direction and like they are not homeless and drugged. Yikes, I really need to do their hair before setting out in public. A hat can only hide so much. (This is the tip of Haley's cheesiness iceberg.)

Case and I had the special treat of going on a quick dinner date Saturday while a couple from church watched the girls for us. It was a treat for the girls as well-- they got their nails painted and got to play with another little girl AND a puppy! They were disappointed to find that the couple was not sleeping over.
This has been a spoiling week for the girls--on Monday they had another couple friends come over to play and then on Tues, we went as a family to dinner at an acquaintance's home. She's the one who has given birth on the same day as have I the last two times. Claire and J are exactly the same age, as are Haley and D! They have 3 boys and have recently discovered they expect another baby in October. Claire asked if we'd have our babies the same day again, and I told her I really hoped we didn't this time!

This family was so gracious. Claire threw a HUGE tantrum outside where the dads had taken the children as we cleaned up dinner, and the other father was extremely understanding. Case and I had wondered how he and the husband would fare in conversation, since many of Casey's interests/hobbies and job all have to do with technology (and, dare I say, violence?!) and as Mennonites, they have little to do with such things. Well, I think Claire's fit may have just brought them together on a point of commonality . . . to our surprise, they struggle with similar things with their oldest. We laughed that if they hadn't said anything, we would have never known, and the dad very humbly said, "Well, you've caught us at a good time." We went on to have several hours of great conversation.

Speaking of our fiesty fit-thrower, Case let Claire play in her room tonight while Ruby sat in on our class. He forgot to turn off her light, and we found her asleep on the floor next to her toys. So sweet. And yes, it's times like these when I wonder, can she really throw such out-of-control fits? Surely not THIS girl.
In other news, I am 30+ weeks and getting bigger by the moment. Today, at Ruby's dance class I was asked (again) if I was having twins. . . which sparked a conversation with two ladies in their 70's who each told me about their twin births, one with the traditional "knock-em-out, drag-em-out" (as Dr. Bradley put it) method, the other whose Dr. hypnotized her. Very different. It is funny how many twin stories I have heard since sporting a large belly. More than I have ever heard before (even though I've had a pretty large belly at some point each time).

Here's a little trivia for you: I personally know 3 different people (not the above ladies--they both knew beforehand) who either had or were undiagnosed twins (as in, they didn't know there were twins till the first baby was out and/or the second baby was being born). I'm not saying that means I'm having twins . . . I'm just sayin'. . . it isn't exactly unheard of.

Anyway, I'm not always asked if I'm having twins, but it is a normal suggestion/question when people find out how much longer I have to go. But that's with strangers, mainly. With those who know me, I get the entirely too brief, "Wow, Sarah." or "When was it that you said you were due?" I get it, guys. I'm huge.
Last midwife appointment (we're down to every 2 weeks now--really closing in!) I measured 33 weeks--only 4 weeks ahead, instead of 5, so the gap is closing, rather than widening. I have another appointment tomorrow, which I purposely scheduled for when my MIL is in town (as in, immediately after she flies in--sorry, Sandy!). Hopefully, my blood pressure will be back to normal. It's been high (for me) the last two appointments (114/60 at 29 weeks) and I have a hunch that sans children, we'll get a lower reading.
Incidentally, in all of my appointments where I follow behind another prego woman or one follows me, I am the only woman who comes to appointments without a husband (or whatever). Seriously, what do these women's husband's do? If Case took off every time I had an appointment, we wouldn't have any family leave time for him to take when I REALLY need him--after the baby's born and my family help is gone. I think my midwives might find the fact that I come without him a little puzzling and concerning, but it just isn't feasible for him to burn up several hours of family leave for each appointment. Anyone else have this experience? Is this a home birth thing, or do most couples consider it "thier" midwife/doctor appointment, and go together? Are we just too practical? I know I'd enjoy it on this side, but I'm sure I'd regret it when he only has a day or two he can stay home with us after #4 arrives.

Contractions are getting stronger. For the last few weeks, it has been pretty normal to have an evening with fairly regular contractions every 5 minutes (some evenings, every 10 minutes) for 5 hours or so. They usually kick in around dinner time and die down by 11ish. Some days, like yesterday, I have strong contractions all day (not as close, though). I'm having them very strong and less than 5 min apart now for the last 1/2 hour, so I'm going to call it a day. Relaxation practice awaits!

The Twin Scare that Wasn't (and Didn't)

2010-04-18T22:06:00.011-06:00

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. My twin scare that was neither twins, nor a scare, discuss. (For the benefit of those of you who know the old SNL skits to which I refer).

Where to start with this. . . I could go dramatic and say that for 2 days this week, I was expecting twins. Sounds fun. Let's go with that.

On Tuesday, I had an appointment with one of my midwives. Casey and I had discussed over the last week that my ever-increasing wondering about twins needed to come to a close one way or another. See, I've been wondering since I got prego--steadily increasing this wondering till an hour wouldn't pass where I hadn't thought, "Is it two in there? What's going on in there?" Before I go on, let me make it clear: it was not wishful thinking that made me wonder about twins--I have never wanted twins (save for maybe when I was a little girl and wanted to be a soldier and a ballerina and a teacher and a nurse and a police officer and a farmer and have 10 kids and several sets of twins). And I readily admit it is completely irrational for someone in my situation to give a second thought to the possibility. I am aware enough of this that for most of you, the fact that I have wondered for so long is probably a surprise. I have not exactly advertised my craziness. In all, I have only told a handful of people about my wondering.

Case observed (rightly) that even if I asked my midwife to try to find two babies or two heartbeats, I would not be satisfied if she was not able to. I had already spent the past 5-6 months trying to convince myself how ridiculous and irrational it was for me to give twins a second thought, yet I could not convince myself fully that it could not be twins. So if they couldn't feel/find another baby, it was not likely that that alone would quell my thoughts in the twin direction. Seeing would be believing, we decided.

So, Tuesday, I begged her to please put me out of my mental misery by ordering an ultrasound. I explained to her that I was not worried about twins, just wondered about the possibility constantly. For every reason I could find why it couldn't be twins (don't run in the family, we've never used any hormone-altering birth control or fertility help), I could find a reason why it could be (maybe they do run in our family and we just don't know, lots of people who have had twins have had very low chances of doing so). Anyway, I could not get my feelings and thoughts to agree, and I needed it to stop. I wanted to set my expectations one way or the other. She gladly pulled out an ultrasound order and began filling it out.

We discussed what twins would mean for our birth plans, then commenced our usual prenatal visit. I was 27 weeks, 1 day. My uterus measured 32 cm (as in, 32 weeks), and she said she was being conservative in that measurement. In palpating, she thought she might be feeling 2 heads--one down low and one up high. She mentioned that babies' bottoms often feel as hard as heads at this point, but that she would be ordering an ultrasound even if I hadn't requested one, because she, too, wondered if I could be carrying twins.

I was shocked to hear this. "Are you just saying that to make me feel like I'm not crazy?" I asked. We had a short discussion on the fact that it may not be twins, but two babies could easily fit/be in this belly. She explained how they might be situated if there were two.

She mentioned that she's sent people in for ultrasounds to rule out twins before, and it was just one, but to schedule the ultrasound sooner rather than later and to go ahead and up my protein intake in the meantime. As I packed up our stuff to head out, she asked, "Are you okay?" I was. I was surprised that my inklings could be true, but I was not freaking out about the possibility of twins. After all, I had been mindful of this possibility from the first weeks of our pregnancy. I told her I was fine and I looked forward to finally knowing for certain one way or the other.

For the next two days, we waited. It was not difficult. In fact, it was comforting to know that on Thursday, we'd be able to move one direction or the other. Casey set the tone of expectant waiting--we knew there was one baby. Let's not plan on there being two until we know for sure. So, those two days were weird, but not agonizing. I still wondered every few minutes, but assured myself with the upcoming appointment--I would soon know for sure! The midwives must have been concerned about the limbo we were in, because they each called on Wednesday to see how I/we were doing processing things. I told them we were alright, just waiting to see. I did ask the other midwife what she thought about the possibility. She said she was curious and if it wasn't too much trouble, she'd like me to call her cell phone after the ultrasound.

Thursday came, and I was overly excited about the ultrasound. Funny, what seemed (and was) routine with a couple other pregnancies was a huge privilege and treat with this one. To be able to see my baby and know the gender would be so exciting. To find out if it was two babies would be very practical! I readied myself, dressing up and putting on my contacts and make-up--things I only do on "special" occasions.

The girls and I met Casey at the office and we all went in to see what was in my belly. The sonographer looked around and asked if we wanted to know the gender. We answered that since we were there, we might as well find out. She said, "It's a boy."

I got teary for a second. I didn't realize I would get emotional about the gender announcement. Right away, she proclaimed, "It's just one baby."

After all Casey's and my discussions on the issue, and our certainty that an ultrasound would be THE THING to do the trick and give my mind a kick in the proverbial pants, what came out of my mouth surprised both of us: "Are you sure? Did you look everywhere? Is there any way one could be hiding? Would you look around really thoroughly? Is there a chance you could miss one?"

She calmly stated that it was very unlikely--and there weren't many places to look. For the rest of the ultrasound, I was in a surreal state. I could not believe that I would not believe her! I walked out of there praying, "God, please let this news sink in. Please let it only be a couple nights of sleeping on it before I can fully accept that it really is only one baby in there." I imagine this may be similar to what a woman who has just found out she's having twins and had not considered the possibility of twins may experience--only in the other direction. It may have to sink in for a few days for her to grasp and fully believe it. I hoped that it would be a matter of time before I "knew" I was having a singleton.

That next night, I told Casey that even though I wasn't 100% convinced still, having had the ultrasound helped me to better understand the movements I felt. He's breech right now, and that may be why I feel a lot of movement up high as well as down low. I'll have to check my records to see if the girls were head-down at this point.

As the days have gone by, I have become more and more comfortable with the idea that I am feeling one baby and that it is only one baby in there. But there is a small percentage of me that will accept that it is one baby when he is born and a placenta follows. . . not another baby. But I'm okay with that. I can live with that. Believe it or not, I do not consider that crazy. Crazy is what I was (or may have been). Mostly sane is what I am now. I joked with Casey over dinner the night of the ultrasound that the next test I'd be requiring is an MRI of my brain!

For now, I can interpret baby's movements in a more rational way--perhaps he is more active than the girls were, or active in a different way, I don't know. There has been something about this pregnancy that seems different. Perhaps it is just that I am carrying a boy. Perhaps it is something more. Time will tell.

He may have had a major growth spurt and by next appointment, I'll be measuring more around my actual dates again. I measured one week ahead in March, but I've probably done that at some point with every pregnancy. I have not, however, measured 5 weeks ahead before. Has anyone else measured so much bigger out-of-the-blue like that? What was the reason for you?

It was comforting to know there is an explanation for feeling huge and crowded already. I have outgrown many of my maternity tops because my belly sticks out so far. People are still commenting: "Are you ready?" and "Any day now!" I feel silly telling them I'm not even in the 3rd trimester yet! When I tell them July, they look at me like I accidentally said July when I really meant something else. This is not helping in the mental corralling of my thoughts, let me tell you! Even so, looking big is not such a concern--I know my abs are shot. Measuring big is weird, though, because according to my midwives, I have very good tone in my uterus for my fourth pregnancy. It makes it hard for them to palpate. (There is a good explanation for good tone in the uterus and not in the abs--the uterus is an involuntary muscle which has kept itself in great shape all these years. My abs are voluntary muscles and I have not volunteered them for much of anything these past few years.)

So, just for fun, I'll give you the "facts" we discovered at the ultrasound. We take these with a grain of salt, as ultrasound is not an exact science. Measurements are estimates and not very reliable. With that caveat: Amniotic fluid is not the reason I measured big--it was at 19 cm. Anywhere from 10-20 is considered normal. My uterus measured at 30 weeks, 6 days, and baby looked to be 3 lb, 4 oz. Ultrasound is less and less accurate for predicting due dates the farther along you are, so I don't think my midwives will be messing with the due date. And ultrasound has been known to be off by a pound or more (in either direction, actually!). We did see a pretty obvious boy part. The gender was the easy part to believe.

To my dismay, they gave us only 5 pictures, and none of them were good. When she was doing the 4D part, he kept covering his face with his arm. Our other 4D ultrasounds haven't been very pretty, since the girls were around 20 weeks and all skin-and-bones. I had hoped this ultrasound would be cuter, since he'd be fatter, but he wasn't very cooperative. Guess we'll have to wait to see his face till he's out!

At any rate, it could be that I'm just carrying a boy, and that is why so many things seem and feel so different. He could be a big boy, as my mom had big boys and small girls, and Casey and his brother were both over 9 lb. (Edited: Oops! Guess Case was over 9 and Corey was slightly under.) I think my mom had almost a 4 lb difference between her smallest girl and her biggest boy (I'll let you fill in the specifics, Mom, as I don't remember--Mom says 3 1/4 lb difference). Though I do not mind having a big boy, I do hope he will not be a whole 4 lb bigger than Ruby was. I'm not excited about the idea of giving birth to a baby over 11 lb. But 9 or even 10 lb. would be okay. I'm up for that.

27 Weeks, One Day

2010-04-13T23:53:00.004-06:00

This is my belly tonight. We've been missing our camera for a couple weeks now, and too busy to do a search for it. Found it tonight and decided to take a belly pic. Not the greatest, but it'll work. (That circle is not on my belly, it's a reflection of the flash in the mirror.)

As I checked if it turned out, I noticed the mirror was dirty, but wasn't about to clean it just for a better picture. Case pointed out that in a year or two, we'll probably consider this a spotless mirror and a pristine bathroom. He's got a point. This may be as good as it gets for awhile!

We Made It

2010-03-25T22:12:00.001-06:00

Today, we celebrated having made it through the week while Case is in Seattle. (Flying home tomorrow afternoon.) Usually, while Case is gone, the girls and I do a few more things out and about, since schedule doesn't matter as much and I don't tend to "make" dinner like I do when he's home. This time was different, in that Haley gave me a bad head cold and I realized on Sunday morning, when Case left, that I'd need to really take it easy just to make it till class on Wednesday. (I may not have mentioned it, but I'm on week two of my second provisional series w/Bradley).

So, things were simplified as much as they could be. I am not exaggerating when I say that it took me from Sunday to Wednesday night to prepare for class. Between doing the needed preparation for teaching and trying to keep up on the house, (to say nothing of keeping up with the girls' needs and training) I was worn out. As soon as class was over last night, I breathed a sigh of relief that we'd actually made it. Another day and a half would be cake after this!

The girls did fairly well during class. There was a lot of noise at times--extra bumps and squealing (the happy kind, thankfully!) above us as we went through the first half of the material. I did have to come check on them once or twice while the students were watching a DVD, but it went much better than it could have. In the last few days, there was a lot of rehearsing what was going to happen when Mommy had class, and that they were to stay in their room (the older two--I put Haley to bed) and play quietly until their light turned off (it's on a timer) and then climb into bed and wait quietly for me. All in all, they did fairly well, though we spent a good 45 minutes cleaning their room this morning (much of this was due to the laundry I had piled just outside their closet before class--one of the girls' piles was pretty much scattered all over the room. I'll let you guess whose :). I told them if they did well, we'd spend today taking it easy and celebrating, and that's what we did!

Tonight, we ran to get a bite to eat and got a special ice cream treat on the way home. After getting ready for bed, calling Daddy and putting Haley down, we snuggled on the bed and watched a movie and had popcorn. The girls have been asking to do this since Monday. Then, we played their Tea Party game to finish off the celebration.

I wasn't clear on how to play this game. Claire volunteered to "read" the "structions."

It was a good week. God was so gracious. We all survived and the house is even in good shape, thanks to class last night! Case will be thrilled to come home to a clean(ish) house. And we will be thrilled to have him back.

I'll leave you with a quote from my niece that made me chuckle yesterday: "When I get married, my husband will be my boyfriend forever and that's the best way to not get a divorsion." Sounds good, Lyd.

Is There Any Legitimate Excuse For Not Paying Our Children's College Educations

2010-03-09T21:56:00.005-07:00

Financial reprocussions of having a "large" family. I've thought about this subject a lot. Especially when it comes to the reasons people give me for why not to have more children. Not that they'll say that exactly. More like giving reasons why they have not chosen or would not choose to do what we are doing (namely, having more than one or two children). "We want to be able to. . ." fill in the blank with almost anything, and it's probably been said. I've heard things from cruises to college to vacation homes to specialty lessons to carreers to just plain fun.

Honestly, we have not had a lot of negative comments or critisism re: our family choices compared to what we could have. Part of it may be because we don't get out much and I am much too busy with my children when I am out with them, I wouldn't even know if someone looked disparagingly at us, let alone wanted to engage me in critical conversation. But it sounds like some of the people who express these types of thoughts are the ones closest to the couple/family (see the below link).

There are these thoughts out there, to be sure. Just because I have not been personally subjected to the verbal criticism of people who do not understand our values does not mean that these opinions do not exist.

This morning, I came across this post, and found it to be encouraging (apparently, so have thousands of others, so that's even more encouraging!). This woman expresses her family's priorities in response to critisism for not using funds--that could have been directed toward her children's college tuitions--to instead bring another child into their family via adoption. And I heartily stand with her and her husband on choosing priorities that are Biblically sound, despite being socially . . . questionable?

Speaking of college, there are much worse things I could be accused of besides not paying my children's way through college, and I'd love it if I could honestly say that the only thing my adult children may resent me for is withholding a completely free education. Realistically, though, I have more important and far-reaching things to concern me, like being an all-around poor example of a godly woman who delights in serving The One who gave His life for her. The consequences of everyday attitudes and actions . . . how humbling it is to be a parent. There is no room for pride, yet pride digs its heels in and refuses to leave. To have my weaknesses, my frailties, my sins, on display for three tiny ones to witness and take in and then mimic. The ugliness. I can hide a lot from the average onlooker, but my children, they see the REAL me. And they often get the worst of the reality.

No, friends, how we're going to pay for college tuition, or weddings, or the latest trends, or ballet recitals--these are not our biggest concerns for our girls. I echo Missy's sentiments that we most want to see them follow Christ with their whole hearts. For us two sinners to guide them and lead them in this way is not nearly as doable as merely stashing away funds. Thank God for grace, or we'd be in serious trouble, and so would our children.

Trying Something New

2010-03-05T21:10:00.002-07:00

This is my first attempt using Windows Live Writer (found a post about it that was convincing here). Hoping to have a better time of posting pics and videos now that I’m using a more user friendly program than Blogger seems to be. I’ve posted through Word before, but any pics or videos I include also have to be uploaded to Blogger, so the only helpful thing about it is that it doesn’t time out or glitch and lose what I typed. Problem with that is that my biggest complaint w/Blogger is the pic/video uploading. Rarely do I lose text. But one good thing about using Word to post to my blog is that if I do happen to lose a whole post at some point (I’ve heard it happens!), at least I have a back-up copy. I’ll post my thoughts about using WLW when I have more to say about it.

Case is with the girls tonight. I left him herding them toward sleepytime. He let me get out of the house ALONE for the evening. Very refreshing. I really enjoy having an hour or so here and there to better appreciate all the wonderful things that make up my very blessed life.

When I am away, I can see things more objectively. Like how sweet my children really are, and how much I do enjoy being with them all day every day and what a privilege it is to be the one who knows them best and see all the ways they grow and discover the world around them. Case and I can tell when I need a break when my general attitude has the undertone of negativity and discouragement. Since I use my blogs to decompress in some way or another, it is probably obvious to you, my readers, when I need a break as well! Perhaps it is a very good thing that I do not have time to blog much. I would surely give the impression of an ungrateful, crabby woman much more than I already do!

Another “break” I enjoy is when we have company and I am able to observe the girls more from an outsiders’ view—actually seeing them, not just being with them—there is such a difference! Sometimes, it is surprising to me how much I don’t notice on a usual day alone with them. I also treasure the rare phone call that one of the girls will make to me. I’ll save those messages forever, or so I tell myself. Probably seems strange, but I so rarely hear how they sound on the phone, and it is terribly precious to me to hear those sweet, tiny voices call me “Mommy” on the phone.

What do you know? When I decided to wrap up this post, I thought I should at least try to insert a couple pics to see how easy it could be, and it totally was! Blogger-users, brace yourselves for a shock: I put the curser where I wanted to insert the picture, and, viola! There it appeared, only seconds later! And another thing: I posted the second picture SECOND, and it is AFTER the first one! Such luxury! Now I have only to publish this post when I get home and then try a post with a video, which I'm not sure I can even do with Live Writer, but I'll let you know. That will be the true test of WLW!

(Oh, I guess I should do some sort of caption for the pics I chose: this is why it took us so long to let Haley feed herself “messy” stuff. It just didn’t seem worth it to have a few minutes of peace and then have to deal with the aftermath. Once in a while, after an exceptionally challenging day, I found it worth the clean-up to eat my own meal without much interruption, but it is almost NEVER worth it to Casey. That’s why some nights, I put him next to Haley—so he can decide what he wants to do. Oh, and this pic is from Jan. We have been working on the “don’t put your bowl on your head when you’re finished” lesson these last couple months so messy food isn’t quite as bad here in March. But it still isn’t always worth it. We hadn’t been using bibs for a few months in there, but they’re definitely BACK now!)

Why a Pregnant Woman Should Not Do the Grocery Shopping

2010-02-25T22:56:00.001-07:00

You're probably thinking you know where this is going--a prego woman is always hungry and will impulse-buy a ton of terrible stuff.

So, maybe I should have titled this post "Why THIS Pregnant Woman Should Not Do the Grocery Shopping." It is not because of hunger or cravings. This is about brain power.

This afternoon, as Haley finished lunch beside me and the older two played happily in the back yard, I decided to do something that I rarely do nowadays: make a complete and thorough list of items based upon the sale ad. (Normally, I'll just quickly glance to see if there's anything I'd want to stock up on, and note any out-of-the ordinary items we may need. Otherwise, we get pretty much the same things every time, and I'll pay attention to pricing, choosing as we go.)

I spent a good twenty minutes on that list, noting which things and how many I should get in order to get the "10-for" pricing. Then tonight, after the kiddos were in bed, I left to do some serious shopping, where I could pay attention to the ad and leave nothing to chance (a luxury I do not have when my children are in tow).

You probably really do know where this is going now. About 45 minutes into my quest for great deals, I noticed (once again) that the price on this item did not match the price in the ad, (as well as the fact that nowhere did it say anything about a 10-for pricing ANYWHERE in the store). This had happened on a good 6 or more items, and it was now finally dawning on me what the problem might be. I searched the ad for the date and could not find it. Finally, in some very fine print I discovered what I should have suspected the first time I noticed an item not being the right price: the ad expired 2 days ago.

Made a lot of sense then. So much for my preparation and money-saving! I ended up spending another 10 minutes putting items back, and I had spent a good 10-15 minutes just wandering down isles, looking for those "participating items" that I did not usually purchase. Seriously, where do they keep the Velveeta? (Shh. Don't tell anyone that a Bradley teacher was planning to purchase Velveeta. I will have lost any respectability in the nutrition department. But maybe it counts for something that it is so rare that I buy such an item, I had no idea where to look. . . ? And that I did not ever find it, and would not buy it, now that it is not on sale? Maybe? :)

I think I just might stick to the usual mad dash (that ends up being a good hour or more) through the store with all three children, focused on getting the essentials before somebody has a melt-down.

While on the subject, is it just me, or do others find grocery shopping stressful? As if finding items is not already a problem, My biggest challenge seems to be at the end. I must simultaneously empty the cart, keep melt-downs at bay, watch that my children are still with me and baby is not trying to pitch herself head-first out of the cart, watch the cashier/cash register to make sure that the items are priced the way they were advertized, and--here's the icing on the cake: WATCH THE BAGGER LIKE A HAWK SO HE/SHE WILL NOT PUT MY BANANAS AND TOMATOES ON CANNED GOODS, AND PUT MORE CANNED GOODS ON TOP OF THEM!?!?! Do grocery stores not train baggers anymore on what items should and should not be bagged together and that absolutely, under NO circumstances, should produce (or baked goods!) be placed in the bottom layer, under hard and heavy items?!?! I try to counter-act this as much as possible by how I empty my cart (I have become very strategic in my efforts to thwart what seems to be blatant disregard for common sense). However, this is not fool-proof, as tonight reminded me.

Anyone remember Bag-N-Save? Where you buy your items, then take your cart to the bagging station and do it yourself? If I could find one nowadays, that would be fabulous.

Snapshot Update (no snapshots included)

2010-02-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

Busy last couple weeks. . . Casey's cousin, then mom in town visiting, my first student gave birth (amazing job!), Case's and my first overnight date in 2 years (and presumably the last for another couple years--Thank you, Sandy!), our rental home goes on the market, getting an offer next day (God willing, we'll close in a month!), Ruby turns 5. . . and I think we are now slowing down.

No pics today--a little much to do at the moment. I'll be doing well to get the house together again by the weekend! But hopefully I'll get a few pics uploaded soon. We are overwhelmed with God's goodness in so many areas. Worn out, but blessed immensely!

The Herd Overheard

2010-01-31T21:48:00.005-07:00

These two pictures from last summer/fall capture R & C's personalities quite well. Ruby is more girly and into accessorizing. . . Claire jumps in with both feet and is quite the tomboy. (Though they are both big fans of mud!)

Mommy to the girls (after they came back inside after only a few minutes playing in the backyard): "You need to play outside."

Ruby: "We can't. We runned out of air out there." 6/7/09

Claire, telling Case about her watch: "It's time to go to bed because it says it's an inch and a half." 6/7/09

Ruby to Mommy: "I'll scream at the top of your ears." 6/24/09

Ruby: "Mom, Claire scratched me and I'm allergic to kids." 6/23/09

Daddy: "I'm beat."

Claire: "By who?" 6/27/09

Claire, on the phone to a birthday well-wisher: "I have a beautiful dress; it's kinda wet 'cause I've been sucking on it." 7/14/09

Claire loves order. As she sits, she organizes her toys.

That same day, I came back to my pile of folded kitchen laundry to see that she had unstacked it and put all her babies to bed on each of the laundry pieces. Every baby has a bed. (Even the gravy whisk.)

Ruby: "I don't like this lip gloss, Mommy. Sometimes when I lick it, it tastes like bridge." 8/15/09
(R & C have made several comments now about things tasting like "bridge." I only wish I knew what they meant.

Ruby: "May I have some lip guac?" 8/30/09 (As in guacamole.)

Claire looks at bugs with Mommy and Haley.
Mommy: "I think those beetles are mating."
Claire: "Oh. . . They look so friendly." 8/11/09

Ruby: "Lydia would like to try ballet, but her mom says her hips are too big." 8/14/09

In September: cousins Ruby and Lydia (whose hips are clearly too big to be included in the picture).

Ruby: "I'm NOT huffing off in a puff, Mommy." 8/21/09

Mommy: "Claire, would you do me a favor?"

Claire: (not snotty—just matter of fact) "You could do yourself a favor, 'cause I'm going outside." 9/1/09

Ruby and Claire, very proud of their first attempt to load the dishes without guidance.

Mom: "Claire, what did you do to Ruby?"

Claire: "I hitted her."

Mom: "With what?"

Claire: "With my teeth."

Mom: "What is it called when you 'hit someone with your teeth'?" (Meaning, "biting.")
Claire: "Sin." 9/2/09

Ruby, outside Walgreens: "I sure hope that man doesn't steal paint polish for his mommy." 9/3/09

Listening to a CD of hymns at bedtime
Ruby: "They are singing to God."
Claire: "To make Him sleep." 9/12/09

Haley gives new meaning to "beanie baby."

Mom (as a loud crash happens while Claire runs her stroller around the house): "Wow, Claire. Are you okay?"

Claire: "Yeah. I'm just being wild." 9/17/09

All aboard the reading train!

Ruby: "Claire's trying to scratch me."
Claire: "No, I'm showing her my fingernails." 9/18/09

After mom's warning that sitting on a small slat of wood might not be the best idea. . .
Ruby: "It might break . . . only if I was too heavy, like a woman." 9/18/09

Claire (peeved): "I'm going away from you, Ruby."
Ruby: "I'm okay with that, because sometimes I need time to myself." 9/21/09

With a napkin, Ruby was picking up some pepperoni pieces that had dropped on the ground while bringing her slice of pizza to the table.
Claire: "It's kinda like you're picking someone's nose . . . with lots of boogers in it." 9/09

Claire: "I'm wiping my nose with a Kleenex."

Ruby: "Maybe your tongue could be a Kleenex." 10/2/09

Mommy: "Today is catch-up day."
Ruby: "Could we make it mustard day instead?" 10/13/09

Claire: "Goodnight, Mom-poop."
Mom: "Don't call me that—it isn't respectful."
Claire: "But it is funny." 10/23/09

Claire, brushing her baby: "She'll be all dry in the morning, 'cause I'm brushing her skin off."
Ruby: "Ah, poor thing. I don't usually do that." 10/24/09

As all four of us girls enter a public bathroom stall. . .

Me (to Haley): "No! Do NOT touch the toilet."
Claire: "Only juicy bottoms are allowed to touch the toilet."
Me: giggling uncontrollably
Claire: "Don't laugh, Mom. I'm not used to it." 11/11/09

Mom: "Which ear hurts?"
Claire: "The right one."
Mom: "Okay. That makes sense."
Claire: "The wrong one hurts a little, too." 12/5/09

Daddy (reviewing the creation account): "Why did God create woman?"

Ruby: "So she could tell Adam what to do." 12/6/09

Claire, singing God Rest Ye, Merry Gentleman (tidings of comfort and joy.): "Ahhhh. . . Covered in joy!" 1/1/10

I Shouldn't be Doing This

2010-01-16T22:47:00.004-07:00

a) blogging.

b) showing yet.

And yet, I am. (Both.)

That's right, I am showing. Not the baby, or even the uterus. It is me. I have to admit this to people who exclaim excitedly, "Wow! I can tell you're pregnant! You're really showing!"

Yes, I tell them. I am. My pregnancy will probably show in another few weeks, but practically speaking, the only time it does that nowadays is when I am on my back and a) my bladder's full or b) I'm having a contraction or c) both. If you don't believe me, see this pic from a few weeks ago. The contrast of this cantaloupe-sized belly compared with my usual "look" is undeniable. I am most definitely the one showing at this point.

At any rate, this is not bothersome to me. In fact, I love pregnancy, if only for one reason: It is a great excuse to look pregnant. There's no feeling badly that I can no longer button my pants (as of this week) and that I definitely have a pooch going on. Ahh, what an excuse pregnancy gives me to let my abdominal muscles have a sabatical. Not pregnant, I must be vigilant to not look pregnant, so as not to have anyone ask me if I am, and who has that kind of drive and muscle tone? Well, not me.

I had my first prenatal appointment on Monday, at 14 weeks. The girls and I had a relaxing time in Barb's new office. So relaxing, in fact, that I had the lowest blood-pressure reading I can remember having (not that I remember these things): ninety-something over fifty-something(Don't you love the preciseness?) This is especially surprising because at the time of the reading, I had two children on my lap, restless and demanding. I think this whole, "refusing to feel guilty" first-trimester attitude has contributed greatly to this. But I am no longer in the first trimester, so my guess is that my blood pressure will never again in this pregnancy be that low. I simply must begin my daily regimin of guilt soon. If not, I may run behind and have to pile on some double-doses.

Oh, and we got to hear the heartbeat, which was a little confirmation/reality check to me that yes, I am pregnant, and yes, it is a baby in there. (Not that I questioned this, but there's something about that super-fast heartbeat that clears up any doubts that I could just be gaining a great deal of weight in . . . my. . . uterus.) The older girls, playing on the floor, stopped, looked up and smiled as Barb said, "That's the baby!" Haley was right there, front-and-center, enthralled in what was going on. On her tippy-toes, eyes level with my belly and bright with curiosity. Her expression was priceless. So full of wonder and awe. Barb and I laughed that if we didn't know better, we'd think she understood the significance of what she was hearing. But we both knew it was simply an interest in that cool electronic device that made weird sounds.

So, that's the update. We're just surviving away here at Casa de Cowart. Keeping up on the essentials and barely anything else. It's quite enjoyable when life's this simple. I think my children would agree. Their mommy is not the same mommy from a few months ago. She's much nicer.

Okay, enough yammering. Here are some pictures.

When we got home from Christmas in Colorado, we bunked the girls' beds. We were also going to move Haley out of her/the guest room, but still finding myself not ready for the day each morning, we opted to leave her in her own room a little longer. She wakes a good hour or more after the other two, and I want to hold onto that as long as I can.

Casey and his buddy from work got this dollhouse for the girls for Christmas, and built it from the foundation up. This was in the garage a few months ago. Case is glad to have given it to the girls now so he can finally work on it in the house. Since Christmas, the house has been here, on the dining room table. It still has a LONG way to go to completion. I hope to post updates as things are done (shingles on, windows installed, electricity, etc.--he jokes this house will end up costing us as much as a full-size one, and I think I believe him).

Daddy and the girls assembling the windows. It is so sweet to me how much he puts into this for them.

Couple weeks ago. Playing play-doh.

Lately, I can let Haley play play-doh and don't have to watch her like a hawk to not eat it. Guess she's finally learned it's not yummy.

Ruby is getting better at fine-motor skills. She did so well rolling and cutting. They were the best "cookies" she's made so far.

This is new, though it may be surprising, since she's 19 months, but Haley is getting really great at feeding herself, even messy things like yogurt. She probably could have done better sooner, but we haven't really let her feed herself such things until recently. It just didn't seem worth the clean-up effort. It may be a small milestone, but it means a LOT to a mommy for baby to feed herself!

Only a couple months ago, this was going on. Claire was thrilled, but it is nice to have Haley independant.

The story behind last week's take-it-all-off haircut? A little trim in the bath by an overzealous mommy. Looked kinda okay when it was wet, but like one of her sisters had done it by morning. I had to go get it fixed (no pics of the oops--didn't even think of it). Interestingly, the one thing I did do just right was trim her bangs, but when I took her in to fix it, they trimmed her bangs much shorter than I would want--I almost stopped them.)

So, she pretty much has to have her hair "done" or wear all pink or something to look like a girl anymore. My babies always get mistaken for boys anyway, and this haircut will not help. Upon expressing this to the hairdresser, one of the other patrons looked over and said, "He's doing such a good job sitting still!" My point was made.

Problem is, Haley being the third and all, I didn't really put clips and bands in her hair much as an infant. And she is totally not used to them, and takes them out right away. We're working on it, but we'll probably have a few more comments in the meantime.

To Ruby's delight, Haley will occasionally let Ruby "baby" her. She'll let her pick her up, rock her, hold her hand. For a time, that is.
Ruby loves this big-sister role.

Recently, I started letting the girls "read" some of their school books. When we first got them, I wanted them to stay mysterious and exciting. They still are. The girls will sit on my bed for many moments, reading away!

Notice Claire's book is upside-down. She has never allowed this to affect her reading.

(And yes, those are p.j.s. And yes, it is probably about 11 a.m. They stayed in them till after naps. And I don't feel guilty about it.)

This was Friday. Actually did some "school." I got the lacing cards out again (they have always been a real frustration to the girls) and for whatever reason, today, the concept clicked with both of them. I have no idea what changed, besides not seeing them for a very long time. I told Ruby it was like dot-to-dot and sewing, and she caught right on. They were so excited, they ran to show daddy what they could do right after dinner. Got them out on their own again today.

In Case You Were Wondering

2010-01-02T01:57:00.001-07:00

We are still here. . . just now slowing down and catching up on many things. Since the laundry is caught up, the Christmas stuff is (almost) put away and our family newsletter is now sent, I thought it only right that I post a little something to the blog to assure anyone who may still read it that I do not intend to abandon updates quite as badly as I have these past few months.

Not sure of a creative way to say this, so I'm just going to post it without fanfare: we are expecting baby number four in July! I'm finishing the 12th week and hoping, hoping, hoping that things will start looking up soon. (They already are: Case has been home with us all week and it has been fabulous to both take it easy and get things done around here.)

There are many things I could/should post, but I'm losing creativity and thought I'd just stick to the subject at hand, so here's a little recap of our pregnancy discovery.

In October, when I began my first Bradley series, "busy" described our life, and I started to think that I'd need to check the calendar soon, so I could be prepared for my usual reminder of God's providence. One day, supposing I was indeed "overdue," I actually had this thought as I was near the calendar, and took a gander. . .

Casey was discussing business matters with a friend up in an ABQ restaurant. They invited the girls and me to join them and have dinner, and I took them up on it, pausing long enough to toss a pregnancy test in my purse.

Case's friend left fairly soon after our arrival, and we settled in for a pancake dinner. I mentioned casually that I was on day 39 of my 28-day cycle (which we both were aware never happens unless I'm prego), and that this could mean a couple things, but it probably meant the most obvious thing. Doubtingly, he asked what else it could mean, and I told him that since Haley had upped her nursings from about one a day to 3 or 4, she could have suppressed ovulation, but that wouldn't explain my exhaustion and nausea quite as well as the other reason would.

I then told him of the P.T. in my purse, and he laughed and asked if I brought it because he'd be less likely to freak out in a public place. No, but that is a good thought. . . Actually, I had brought it because I have distinct memories of each time we've discovered we were pregnant, and thought that this would also make a distinct memory.

So, as Casey took the girls to the car to get them buckled in, I took a pregnancy test which immediately showed what we already "knew."

It was a little strange, since neither Case or I felt as if we could handle something that, by now, we were well aware meant a ton of resources that we do not have (I'm speaking in the character and stamina sense, not a physical need sense), but there were no tears on my part or freaking out on Casey's; it was just some information that had to sink in for awhile--a long while. We accepted it and wondered how God would see us through. We really wondered.

Not as though we doubted God in a cognitive way, but it was a process (still ongoing) of knowing in our hearts what we readily acknowledge in our heads--that God is good and gracious, and that He gives the grace to handle what else He gives. I couldn't quite figure out what it was that I doubted, but it was probably God's goodness and His wisdom. Especially the latter. "Really?! But You've seen what kind of a mom I am with the other three You gave me. . . I'm not faithful or glorifying to You in that. . . and I feel overwhelmed almost daily with the demands of life as it is. . . Really?!?" was the conversation that went on inside me without my knowledge.

But it wasn't until Casey was out of town (at about 9 weeks) and I had several evenings to myself and my thoughts that I cried about it. It had finally hit me that I absolutely could not do this. I cried many times in those few evenings, and it was good to hash out my feelings and thoughts on the matter and ask God to give me some perspective. I reminded myself that I felt physically terrible, and that always affects how I assess situations and how I feel emotionally. Of course I was overwhelmed: that's how the first trimester is: my midwife with Ruby called it the "What have we done?!?" phase of pregnancy. And yes, I am not exactly a fun or energetic mom or a great "help-meet" right now, but this too, shall pass. And no, I am not, nor will I ever be the mom I should be to my sweet blessings--no matter if I were to have one or 10 of them. But God is gracious, and part of His grace is pinning me to Him, where I can see very clearly that He is my only strength.

So, though this has been and continues to be a difficult process in several ways, I can see God's goodness in drawing me closer to Himself through the difficulty. I have certainly not arrived in trusting God--I write the above as a reminder to myself.

It is strange to write all this, since of course I want to be giddy and gleeful about such a wonderful miracle from God, but it's important to be real, too. Casey and I acknowledge this baby as a blessing, and though they are not there yet, our feelings will follow. And I think in some ways, it would be irresponsible and short-sighted of us to "just be happy" about it, because we know very well what another little one means. It is part of taking our job as parents seriously to look at all the aspects of what it means to be pregnant again. It is not just "having another baby" (if it were, we'd be in better shape, since I enjoy giving birth so much). It is loving and raising and training a person for a couple decades, and if that weren't enough, it is teaching them God's Word, pointing them to Christ at every opportunity and leading by example and. . . well, that's where it gets to feel overwhelming.

Practically speaking, we've just started to announce to the general public, as we've done in the past around 12 weeks. There are so many things we like about waiting to announce. Maybe I'll post about it sometime. But this time especially, it has been great for Case and I to have our little secret for awhile before sharing it.

A Visit from Family!

2009-11-06T23:44:00.001-07:00

I started this post a few weeks ago, wanted to include two precious videos of my nephew, and for whatever reason could not upload my favorite one, so now I am finally surrendering to the idea that I should just go ahead and post, even if it isn't everything I ever wanted.

What follows is a crazy-long post about our adventures with Casey's family (namely his mom, Sandy, her hubby, John, Casey's brother, Corey and his wife, Karen and their three darling boys, three and under--Gabe, Gavin and Grant). They were here about a week (flew in from Portland, OR) and we had a marvelous time with exactly six females, six males, six adults, six children . . . yes, there were 12 of us, and yes, six were under the age of five.

It was an adventure, to say the least. Actually, though, it was really great. The most challenging thing was trying to transport all 12 of us anywhere. We exhausted every single seat in our two vehicles, and mostly just tried to stay home.

But we did get to do a few fun things:

From left to right: Haley (17 mo.) Claire (3 yr) Gavin (I think--still trying to figure out when I can't see them full-on or w/personality:) and Grant (twins: 22 months), Gabe (3 1/2 yr) and Ruby (4 1/2 yr)

At the Railrunner train station. Ruby has dreamed of taking "Gabe and the twins" on the train ever since she first went in . . . January? I'm too lazy to figure it out. We took the train down to Belen, which was about a 10 minute trip, but it was perfect for our group of little ones.

Gabe and the twins liked to watch us pass the scenery. It was the first time the boys had been on a train, and only the second time the girls had.

Ruby and Gabe became fast friends. They were so sweet that whole week. Held hands and all. Those Cowart boys are the sweetest!

Karen, Casey and Haley

Corey and Grant (yep, I'm going with my best guess here).

Sandy and Gavin (I think)

John, Sandy and 3/4 of the grandkids. I think we wore those grandparents out!

Gavin facing us (I think:)

Gabe and Ruby were fairly inseperable.

Corey and Karen show the boys some prairie dogs

Sandy shows the girls some prarie dogs

Gabe bumped his head as soon as he crouched in this little "hiding place." Kids are so funny. Every little nook is a hiding spot. It really was a good one.

The sea lions show what a beautiful day it was. That week was PERFECT fall weather. Warm, but not too warm; beautiful. The day they flew out, it started raining like crazy and turned dead winter for a good week. I was not ready for winter. (Thankfully, it has warmed up again.)

Gavin (l) and Grant (r) LOVED the girls' fish (electronic and plastic--we do NOT have pets). Those fish were a huge highlight to their stay.

Sandy and John put on a tea party for all of us one day. Everyone dressed up and we had a yummy lunch on the back lawn, then blew bubbles and shot each other with water guns. A very well-rounded event.

Haley is a little more of a baby than everyone else, and I noticed a trend of pictures that had five children and then pictures with one (her).

Haley did not exactly endear herself to her cousins. That week, she was the bossiest toddler I've ever heard (and have not heard her be quite so bossy since). I don't know what she said, but she sure felt strongly. And she often used her arms for effect. The twins learned to stay away from her. We can safely say she was a bully for the entire visit. Hopefully, they are not scarred for life.

Sandy went all-out. (She likes to do that.)

Even John had a bow-tie. Such dedication!

Aunt Karen reads to the five oldest.

Lolipops!

This one I'm pretty sure about: Gavin (l), Gabe, Grant (r)

And Haley again, all by her lonesome.

On Sunday, we said goodbye to John and Corey.

Our neighbors may have wondered what was going on. . . no, we're not starting a preschool.

It's becoming clear why we had a consistent stream of flies in the house. . .

Anyone who knows Gabe knows he LOVES (possibly an understatement) laundry. Thanks to him, I was almost caught-up on laundry, even the day they left. The linens and towels were already done before they flew out. Thanks for keeping me on my toes, Gabe!

He helps his mom so much that he knows which buttons to push. Even the child lock function, which is a little complicated. What can I say? He's a PRO.

Claire says goodbye to their 'Lita (the boys call her Maz). Since the visit, the girls will periodically refer to her as Maz as well.

Gabe was my buddy in laundry and other random things. It was great to have a fan. I think the last time that happened, I wasn't a parent! The fun and friendly side of me isn't always prominent now that I'm a mom.

Ruby gives Grant a squeeze goodbye.

Gabe, Karen and Claire.

The next day, probably afternoon, the girls still in p.j.s, telling 'Lita they missed her. Haley looks a little too happy. . . hmmmm.

Almond butter cookies. I baked them when the cold snap hit us, and my family didn't like them enough to eat them. Most of them are still in the freezer. Case said they threw him off because they looked like p.b. cookies, but they did not taste as good. I had to agree.

Random pics follow: Daizy, the Rio Grande Zoo's six week old elephant was so darling!

This is what we get when we try to include Haley in the kid pics.

Haley, Case and I on the Rail Runner. Told you this is random.

Ruby and Gabe watching Toy Story. This is the part where Sid shows up. Gabe is visibly concerned.

Twins and fish. . . go along so well.

I think this is Gavin

Which would make this one Grant (not sure--I keep changing).

Sandy brought the quilt she made for Haley. It is super soft on the back.

Quick clip of Gabe. I love how he talks.

The a Difference a Year Makes

2009-10-11T00:05:00.001-06:00

About a year ago, I posted a light-hearted look at some random things I dealt with as a new mom of three children three and under. A few weeks ago, having the general impression that my head is barely above the water we were in back then (we're still on survival mode at least one day a week on good weeks), I thought it would be helpful to find the post and re-post it to this blog.

In reviewing it, I am happy to say that, though my impression is that not much has changed since then, there are so many things that no longer typify my life like this list once did. It really has gotten easier. Even "survival mode," I've noticed, means something entirely different a year later, and I'm happy to report, less literal.

Sigh. It's good to get some perspective.

Without further ado:

You might be a mom to three short people if:

You are grateful for six hours of uninterrupted sleep.
You finish a phone conversation, take off your glasses, then realize you meant to hang up the phone.
There are days that you consider yourself successful if, at the end of the day, everyone is still alive and you got a shower to boot.
Your showers are accompanied by at least one other person, unless you take one at 6 a.m., 3 p.m. or 9 p.m.
Grocery shopping by yourself refreshes and renews you.
Despite your couch looking like this most of the week:

or at best, this:

your husband is just grateful to have something clean to wear to work.

A date with your husband consists of putting the children to bed and zoning out to a movie in the next room.
When someone at the store snidely jokes that you need to figure out "what causes that," you think to yourself: "I'm not sure I can remember."
You marvel at the thought that some people actually need to use birth control at this stage to keep from getting pregnant again.
You congratulate your children for doing things like this:
When pulling into a parking lot, your first objective is no longer to find the space closest to the store, but the cart corral.
A suggestion from your husband that you go to a coffee shop and blog for an hour makes you giddy with excitement.
You can't remember the last time you had both a warm meal AND two free hands.
Upon your infant's cry of hunger, two non-lactating short people offer--and attempt--to breastfeed her.
You let them.
You consider it "a break" to go anywhere with only one or two of your children.
You have found yourself in a public bathroom stall with all three children, holding 2 of them.
Throughout the day, you periodically burst into melodramatic and sarcastic renditions of theme songs from Little Einstein or Super Readers.
You wonder if your brain cells will ever regenerate enough for you to have an intellegent conversation.
You don't remember if or when you've ever had one.
You can tell what time of day it is, based on the cleanliness of your shirt.
At bedtime, you can easily identify a half-dozen stains and/or bodily fluids on said shirt.
Almost none of said bodily fluids belong to you.
You are grateful for this.
You lose your train of thought mid-sentence.

It takes a few minutes for either you or your husband to notice. . .

and . . .

It really isn't worth the effort to figure out what you were saying.

Hello, Homeschooling!

2009-10-09T23:49:00.005-06:00

This afternoon, we got our preschool curriculum shipment from Sonlight. And today, I guess, would be considered the start of our official homeschooling.

In the spring and summer, I periodically researched homeschool techniques and different approaches, different kinds of curricula. Being a perfectionist, these times of looking into homeschooling consisted of bursts of panicked research into one tiny part of one subject, usually about 5 or so hours at a time, at which point I became completely overwhelmed and decided to procrastinate (who would think procrastination and perfectionism go together so well, but believe me, they do!) and wouldn't look into it again for awhile.

This roller coaster went on all summer, until I realized there was a problem. At this rate and by this pattern, I was sure to never start homeschooling until I found all the "right" intricate little pieces, brought together by my own self after much deliberation and careful scrutiny (after all, that's how my mom did it . . . oh, yeah. She probably didn't start out that way . . . maybe she learned as she went. . . good idea. . . maybe I should try that. . . ). In other words, we would NEVER begin homeschooling.

A post by a woman whose blog I read caught my attention the other day. It was about a specific aspect of the classical approach to education. Though I had heard the term "classical" before, and people I respected used it quite frequently, I had no idea what it really meant. Well, Carletta's post was a starting point in another few hours of research, after which I became convinced that Sonlight was a great start for our little family (the post was not about Sonlight, but that's where I ended up). BTW: even after my research the other night, I'm not an expert on what makes an approach "classical;" go read her post to get an idea and some links to more information. Honestly, some people may not consider Sonlight "classical" at all, I don't know. If you have insight into this, please share!

Many of the homeschoolers we know use Sonlight, and recently, a few friends in particular shared why they chose it and why they stuck with it. One of the greatest things about it, from my point of view as a beginner, not knowing what I'm doing, is their guarantee of a complete refund if we don't find it a good fit for our family within a year of ordering and having completed 18 weeks or less of the curriculum.

The main thing that convinced me of the appropriateness of this curriculum for our family, and my personality specifically, was this page on their website, which lists 27 reasons it may not be a good fit. I went through that list (which is more sincere than I expected) and by the end of it, I was sold! A few minutes later, I asked Case if we could have a date in a few days to discuss my findings. He replied that if I felt that strongly about it, we should go ahead and order it! So I did on Wednesday, and it was delivered today (standard shipping!).

One of the pluses that I believe will be the reason we will do well with this curriculum is that it is extremely simple. It (as in, the preschool curriculum--I do not pretend to know anything about the upper levels) is very laid-back, with a concentration on enjoying learning through reading classic children's books. It is not the typical "classroom" approach (workbooks, etc.), which I find is not good for me or the girls, because I begin to feel the pressure in such a setting, and I then transfer that pressure to them. Doing "school" oftentimes leads to frustration, and all of us just wanting it to be over. I don't want to squelch their desire to learn, and this is a step in the right direction: they are learning without realizing it!

Though I don't think the overly structured classroom approach is my style, neither is "unschooling," and I had it in my head that it had to be one or the other. Sonlight is structured, but it is not a "we're going to learn, now, children!" type of structure. Nor is it an "if it's October and you're still doing September's work, you're behind!" type of schedule.

The structure is just what I need: a teacher's guide so I don't have to come up with my own lesson plans, yet I can pick and choose which things I will do to supplement our reading, and no actual dates or timeline. Just a checklist of which things to do in what order and ideas on extras that are simple, like building with blocks after reading a particular story.

I love checklists, just not schedules. I like to see that progress is being made, but I don't want to be reminded that it wasn't within the time allotted. And I love that on some days, our preschooling will be complete by reading aloud to them alone, and on other days, having them help make Malt-O-Meal to signify Goodnight, Moon's "bowl full of mush." This is something I can do. It is the kind of stuff I already do. It is not a stretch to see myself homeschooling with this curriculum, and I think that is an important thing to consider.

Of course, we are only one day into this, and my take may change as we delve deeper, but overall, I am quite comfortable with the choice of Sonlight, and that is much more than I can say for other things I've looked into and tried.

What I want to hold onto is my girls' absolute excitement about "school." I have no doubt that they will be the ones to nag me, "We need to do our school!"

The Importance of being Real: a post to myself

2009-10-08T23:59:00.003-06:00

Nope. No pictures today either. Whenever I think I have a moment to blog, I then remember that I have yet to download pictures from my camera and then I decide not to blog. So this time, I'm just going to do it.

Life is good at the Cowart Casa. I find myself smiling more and laughing for no apparent reason. This is a good thing, and I'm afraid, not exactly usual this past year. There's something about carrying the weight of responsibility to love, care for, teach and train three little ones as well as the usual daily responsibilities a home-maker has . . . I have found myself under a tremendous burden as of . . . Haley's arrival? Not really sure, but a long enough time. Two of my children are in the throes of "dig-your-heels-in" training mode and life's responsibilities in general have all but sapped me of my energy, joy and drive at times.

However, there are hopeful moments; days where I can see a tiny glimmer that it isn't all a waste. Haley using manners without being reminded, Claire stopping to think before she yowls and gives way to a humongous tantrum, or Ruby coming to me in the kitchen, "What can I do for you, Mommy?" hands already washed, willing to do any task I find for her in my dinner project.

Such a day was today. I asked a lot of them. We took Gram out to breakfast for her 88th birthday (forgot the camera), returned a shirt at Penney's and did our monthly Costco trip. I didn't actually believe we could get it all done, and was completely prepared to ditch the Costco shopping till another day. But they came through, and no one was more surprised than I at how it went. Yes, we had issues. Yes, there were at least a half-dozen fits by a couple girls. Yes, we were all completely worn out by the time we returned home. But the fits were not out-of-control: "We-have-to-leave-now!" They were blips that came and went fairly suddenly (at least for what I'm used to!) and I can say that I actually enjoyed the morning errand-running, and so, I believe, did the girls.

I don't know what my deal is, but I feel as if I'm alone most of the time in my feelings of overwhelmedness. In fact, when I start to see that confused, "I'm not sure I get what you're talking about" look with others, I just go ahead and trail off on whatever I was saying.

I remember back to when I was that young single woman, or that starry-eyed pregnant-with-her-first-sweet-little-baby-with-whom-I-could-never-see-losing-my-temper woman or that woman with one child, and how I probably gave that, "Really?!?" look myself. And then I remember how much I now take comfort in recalling those times when I probably was giving that confused look, and yet that woman continued to be real about her struggles, and I am determined to continue to be real, even though at face value it is under appreciated, and possibly even frowned upon. I may turn a hundred people off by my realness, but if one woman can look back (as I do) and appreciatively remember that it wasn't easy for me either, then I think it is worth it to be real. After all, we are surrounded by people who make it look easy. If we didn't have an example of realness to point to now and then, we may begin to think we are crazy freaks.

In fact, I shudder to think how much more overwhelmed I'd be, were it not for women here and there in my life who gave me a glimpse of the reality of their situations. What kind of encouragement am I being if I keep my struggles to myself and act as if I have none? Yeah, I may look better to others. I may even have the respect of people who otherwise do not respect me. Perhaps even, a person may think I am the one to ask, since I clearly have it all together. But I think more often, a lack of openness breeds more of the same in relationships. And I don't want others to feel as if they cannot be real with me, that I would not understand (which I may not, but I do struggle, too!) and would not be compassionate to their situation.

When I started typing this evening, I did not intend for this to be a pep-talk to myself on the importance of remaining real, but I really do need to remind myself of this, because it is not a celebrated thing--even among Christians, where it should be encouraged (1 John 1:9, James 5:16, Proverbs 28:13).

God is so good, and that is not any less true when I am exuding sinfulness and struggling with my own fleshly desires. He is faithful to complete the work He started, and that is what I need to remember as well. He is my only hope in overcoming my propensity to anger or my critical spirit, my laziness, perfectionism or my tendency to feel guilty about every little thing I do or do not do.

Even though this post has been mainly helpful for me to express, I pray that by posting it, it blesses someone out there who also struggles :) and needs to know she's not alone in so doing.

I Have Some Corrections to Make

2009-09-28T22:46:00.007-06:00

In this post regarding my Bradley certification, I said several things that I need to clarify. First of all, I said that the Bradley® Method's® goal was natural childbirth. Though that is indeed true, the 4 days at the workshop impressed in me that the primary goal of this method is a healthy baby, healthy mother and healthy family. The mode by which that is usually accomplished is to not mess with the labor process.

There are times when major interventions like cesarean sections are called for, and though the true necessity is probably one third to one tenth of what is currently practiced (in the U.S. as of 2007, 31.8% of all births are surgical), some cesareans are truly necessary. *Interesting fact: Dr. Bradley attended about 22,000 births and had a 3% cesarean rate and had not one maternal mortality. Of course, he didn't mess with other parts of labor either, not just the birth part.
I thought I should clarify that so I'm not giving Bradley a bad name by cesarean-bashing. It can be a marvelous life-saving surgery. I just believe it should only be reserved for times when the benefits outweigh the risks. Too often this is not the case.

The other thing I wish to clarify is this business of an 80% natural childbirth rate. That number is incorrect. The truth is that, of those Bradley students who go on to have vaginal births, 87% of them are unmedicated. There is another group here that is left out of this count, and that is the cesarean group (who I'm hoping were medicated!).

Anyway, I think that's important to clarify. So, if we included those c-sections into the number, only about 76% of all (reported) Bradley births are vaginal and unmedicated. Bradley advertises the 87% rate, which is more impressive, but not the whole story. My guess is that most students and even some teachers are not aware of this numbers game.

I still challenge anyone to find a better rate with another method or class. Even at that percentage, it's pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. :)

It's Official!!!!

2009-09-27T17:19:00.008-06:00

As of a few hours ago, I am a Provisional Affiliate with The Bradley® Method of natural childbirth!

I'm sitting at the Denver airport waiting for my flight back to ABQ. There are two other Provisional Affiliates who also turned in their certification packets and were accepted at the workshop, and another 14 people who are candidates.

Words cannot express how very excited I am to go home and teach my first class, starting on Tuesday, October 27th. What a wonderful thing to have the chance to impact families in a positive way by educating them on nutrition in pregnancy, relaxation, and good consumerism in order promote a safe and satisfying birth.

If anyone you know lives in the Albuquerque area and is interested in learning how she/they can work toward a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth, please encourage her/them to contact me.

This method was instrumental in sparing Casey, me and our three babies many unnecessary interventions, possibly including major surgery, so I am quite passionate, to say the LEAST!

I'll be updating as I prepare for my first 12-week series to start, and hope to give an update on how my classes go as well. If you can't wait to hear more, contact me!

I Was about to Post This to My Other Blog . . .

2009-09-15T14:24:00.004-06:00

But after I finished typing it, I realized it belonged better here. And the post from this morning, which is on this blog, probably better belongs on my birth one. I'm getting confused. But I'm not going to think about it any more.

Plugging away at my Bradley certification. I have a little over a week before the 4 day workshop in Denver. Several people have advised me that the key to success in completing the Provisional Affiliate phase with Bradley is to finish the requirements and turn in the packet on the first day of the workshop so I can begin teaching right away.

Being a procrastinator, for the last four months, I have been lolling my way through a book or two here, a report or two there, and the occasional hospital evaluation. In July, I began to get more purposeful and am now tying up the loose ends (final drafts, tweaking formatting). The strangest thing is that I am not overwhelmed. I just keep plugging away though the work seems to stretch out longer and longer. This is not like me. Perhaps it is because I find the subject matter so interesting and because I am gleefully looking forward to teaching my first class, but I am usually getting pretty stressed by this point, figuring there's no way I'll be able to do it all.

At least that's how it is in my house most of the time. The girls and I have been home today to try to get the house back together, put away laundry, cook 20 pounds of chicken and catch up on dishes. And I've managed to cook the chicken and run a dishwasher load so far, but the house looks no better than it did yesterday. And I'm starting to give up on the "putting the house back together" idea as I sit here for a breather, the day half-over.

Case has been working long hours the last couple weeks. One night last week, he didn't get home till 2 a.m. (then promptly turned around to go back at 7 a.m.). Today, he packed some clothes in case it gets late enough that he should just stay the night. The project they're working on should be done in another month or so.

Funny thing is that though it is not exactly great timing, in some ways it is the perfect timing. He's not home most evenings, which makes it more conducive for me to study and catch up on certification work. And I don't feel as badly if the house is in utter disarray (which it has been more than a few times), since he is not here to see it much. I am able to enjoy some time with the girls during the day, knowing that I have a chunk of time to work on my homework after they go to bed. (Much of my stress, I find, comes from feeling like I'm being prevented from doing what I should be doing. Of course, this would be faulty thinking on my part to feel like my children are "in the way" of me doing my "real work," but it really helps to have time carved out for such a purpose. It doesn't hang over me like a huge weight like it would if I were just trying to fit it in here and there.)

The last few weeks, Case and I have reinstated my weekly "night off," which kinda went by the wayside after about a month of doing it in May. Being able to get away has contributed a great deal to my progress with the reading and reports. Strange how a few hours away from home can make such a dent in a pile of work. Oh, and it also refreshes me to have a break from parenting once in a while. Sometimes, just an hour or two will help me regain the desire to jump back in with newness of purpose and passion. But if it's been too long since I've had a break, as my dear friend has observed, by the time we realize I need a break, I am already "broken." The key is to catch it before it gets that bad. Otherwise I feel like I need a few days away, not just an hour.

Claire and Haley are up and we're going to fold the laundry and cut up and freeze the chicken. Well, maybe just I will.

The Milk People: Another Affirmation That I am Not a "Real" Woman

2009-09-15T07:11:00.007-06:00

As part of my requirements for certification with Bradley as a birth instructor, I am to attend two La Leche League meetings. My first one was last week, and yesterday was my next (and presumably last) one.

The form I am to fill out after attending these meetings asks a question: "How can you encourage your students to attend these meetings?" I'm not really sure how to answer that question. I don't think I really "get" why they are important to attend or if the average person would find them beneficial.

It isn't that I think nursing is a breeze by any means. That it is so "natural" that any woman should take to it like a duck to water. Like birth, I believe a woman should read up, take informative class(es) and be prepared for the common challenges of breastfeeding. Education can provide the determination to continue in providing the best thing for baby. Most women I know who have struggled a great deal or stopped before the minimum recommended age have not really been prepared for what to expect and how to overcome difficulties. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about nursing, some of which I believe cause the most "dropouts" in its regard.

I can see a need for education and preparation. I also acknowledge the importance of a support system. Many women who struggle to breastfeed were not breastfed themselves and do not know any women for whom it has been "successful." This provides a challenge, to be sure. So I think I would recommend that a woman in this situation attend a LLL meeting, even if just to feel more comfortable calling the leader, should questions and concerns arise.

Part of why I don't really get the whole idea of becoming a member of LLL or attending meetings regularly adds to the sneaking suspicion that I am not a "real" woman. There are many things about which I feel this way. I don't enjoy shopping, am not crafty and creative (decorating has never been high-priority in my home), and am "not into makeup and looking my best" (a "compliment" I received in my late teens from a young man as to why he wanted to date me--still cracks me up). Unlike many women who do it as long as I do (which I don't claim to be a long time, especially by LLL standards), I do not love breastfeeding. For me, breastfeeding is a sacrifice I am willing to make in order to give my babies the best start nutritionally.

At these two meetings in the last few days, as well as in reading LLL's book, "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding," (which, I would readily recommend as a resource for any woman who intends to breastfeed, by the way), I have been struck once again by the thought that I don't fall into the "normal woman" category.

I cannot relate to the woman who touts exclusive breastfeeding's wonderful benefit of a postponed cycle, as the longest I've ever gone without a period after pregnancy has been 4 months, and that I'm guessing had a great deal to do with the fact that Haley was literally attached to me almost all night every night for at least the first couple of those months (not that a postponed cycle was my reason for such nonsense. A not-screaming baby was the real inducement.). Not sure I'd consider it "worth it" enough to do that again. Sleep is just about as wonderful as a postponed cycle, I think. . . possibly better.

Nor do I consider breastfeeding "easy" or "relaxing." There are many times during the first year that I will come away from it feeling abused and exhausted (the "straight-arm" treatment, the kicking, biting, acrobatics, scratching and slapping that is common for at least some of that year). A great deal of training happens while baby is at the breast. And I don't find training peaceful and relaxing.

Unlike many proponents, I don't consider nursing all that convenient. Sure, it has its benefits. (Most of which I probably don't notice since I have never bottle fed.) But there are some drawbacks, too (one cannot exactly nurse while traveling by car, for instance) and there is that responsibility that goes along with the blessing of being the only one that can feed the baby. Since I can't/don't/won't pump (excruciatingly painful, takes forever, barely get anything, and then baby doesn't like the bottle), for the first 4-6 months, I won't leave my baby for more than an hour or so, and logistically, it isn't usually worth the trouble to leave at all. Toward the latter months, that can feel pretty smothering.

The usual challenges I encounter aren't solved by the customary fixes, and in a place like a LLL meeting, I am very alone in feeling the way I do. Like with many "rules" in life, there are always exceptions. I feel like something must be wrong with me since it seems I am the exception to a half-dozen rules in womanhood (pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding). A place like a LLL meeting re-opens all the ways in which I do not feel like a "real" woman, because I cannot relate to the idea that every problem has a simple solution and if there is a difficulty, it is always due to a wrong application.

I still remember being in the hospital the day after I had Ruby, and asking the lactation consultant to please tell me what I was doing wrong, since I found it quite painful to nurse. She observed us for a few minutes and said I wasn't doing anything wrong. As anyone who has taken a breastfeeding class or read a book will remember, the pat answer to the problem of pain in breastfeeding is that you're doing something wrong (improper latch-on, etc.). Yet I was doing it "right" and still experiencing pain. "No," she said. "It's not pain you should be feeling. Just a strong pulling sensation." Well, for her what was pulling was pain to me. And I had it from the horse's mouth: I was doing it right, yet still felt this way. The way you're assured you will not feel if you're doing it right.

And this is what I encounter many times in regard to womanhood. So a question creeps up: if the application isn't wrong, is something wrong with me? Why do I have a hard time telling if I'm in labor or not? Why is (was) it painful to nurse? Why is let-down such an intensely burning sensation, not just a "tingling?" Why do I feel more tender and sensitive, not "leathery" like women describe themselves during the months of nursing? (These three things have generally subsided since the first baby, causing me to think that one day I might know what it's like to be a "real" woman, but they were pretty pronounced that first year.) Why is pumping even that much more painful than nursing? Why does breastfeeding not help me "return quickly to my pre-pregnancy weight"? (If I were to rely on nursing alone, I'd easily have an extra fifty pounds on me with three pregnancies in such a short time.) How did Haley and I get thrush even when none of the contributing factors to its development were true for us? Why does my cycle return so soon when I'm doing the same (and oftentimes more) as women who don't get it for years?

I'm not bitter about these things, just confused. What is the deal? These idiosincracies make me feel like a weirdo woman, but surely there are other women who do not fit into the "normal" box either.

I just don't think they attend La Leche League meetings.

Where I've Been . . .

2009-09-06T01:32:00.006-06:00

Alcatraz

Beautiful Old building.
Tiny slice of the Golden Gate bridge.
This was a mall!

Casey found it interesting that on this church in this sinful city there is a verse from Ecclesiastes: "Son, observe the time and fly from evil." Oh, that we would.

Chinatown

Beautiful architecture, isn't it?

Well, okay, this isn't where I've been (though perhaps vicariously:). San Fransico was the site of Case's business trip last week. (VMworld 2009, if you care to know. It means nothing to me.) If you know Casey very well, you already guessed that this cannot be where I've been, because my pictures would have been of people, while Casey infinitely prefers still life. (And I do love the architecture there!)

There is a reason behind why I haven't been posting much lately. I miss posting and I want to give an explanation to my readers as well as let you know a tiny smidgen of what's going on in the Cowart household lately. I'll post some stuff here on this blog, but the main reason I'm not blogging much is better explained on my other blog, on which I hope to elaborate soon. (I'll post a link when I get to it.)

And that reason is that I am in the process of completing certification as a childbirth educator, namely, a Bradley instructor. As some of you know, I have had three children with "The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth." Being somewhat cautious and not liking to commit to something unless I am prepared to follow through, (see my previous post if you don't believe me on this one) I have waited several years (well, five--one doesn't want to rush into these things) to see if my passion for natural childbirth would wane or if I would still love learning about it and studying it and doing it and seeing it and helping with it. . . you get the picture.

Well, turns out my passion is stronger than ever, five years after I first caught it. So, in May I signed up for the Denver workshop and have been dutifully completing the requirements since then. Still being cautious, I decided not to mention it on my blogs until I knew I would complete the requirements and attend the workshop this month. To be honest, I didn't mention it to many people at all. Someone would come up to me and say, "I hear you're working on your Bradley certification," and I'd say, "Who told?" It has become a joke among some of the ladies at church that I am the "Church Doula." (Which I have to say I'd be overjoyed to be! I'm here for you, ladies!)

Only God knows whether I will indeed make it to the workshop, complete it, pass the exam (I'm not worried about that part) and have my packet approved (that, I am a little concerned about.) I can't bear to say something I don't mean, yet I feel pressured to not rock the boat in my book reviews and such. "This book was so poorly organized!" "I could hardly do an outline without getting dizzy.". . . "No, I would not recommend this book to a student unless she was on bedrest for the entirety of her pregnancy and had exhausted all birth-related reading material and wanted to go through it with a red pen to sharpen her proof-reading skills."

I'm not sure that would go over too well; there's a rumor that the person who grades the packet was involved in the writing of the book. But I cannot turn a blind eye to such poor quality. A conundrum I'll have to work through . . .

In spite of the smack that I talk, I am pursuing certification through this company because the name is well-recognized and the goal is natural childbirth, and 80% of Bradley students go on to have completely unmedicated births, with little to no routine interventions. (Not to mention my own personal experience that includes my strong suspicion that this method spared me many unnecessary interventions with my first birth, possibly including cesarean. That itself resounds with me.) There are some choices that I think will hurt the company in the long run, but despite the differences of viewpoints on some non-birth related things, I believe Bradley is the best match for me. And I believe that what is not up-to-par can be tweaked and helped along. God willing, I will start teaching my first 12-week course in about a month as a provisional affiliate!

As a cherry on top of the busy-ness, as of yesterday, I have also enrolled in a doula training workshop with toLABOR (formerly ALACE) which will be held in November. (I will be certified this month as a Doula w/Bradley, but I don't know how well-respected that is. I've personally never heard of a licenced "Bradley" doula.) Thankfully, these certification requirements do not need to be completed before the workshop, and since I do not plan to use my doula training as a business until my children are quite a bit older, (if not grown) I can take a couple years to complete the requirements (one of which is attending 6 births). The great news is that for those next couple years, my friends in need of a doula for their natural births will now get a passionate, dedicated, caring, FORMALLY TRAINED doula for FREE, thanks to my hubby, who over breakfast yesterday insisted that I get all the training/certifications over with at once! Hence, my going from "I'm not going to pursue certification for five to ten years" to, "Sign me up!"

So, that explains why blogging (e-mail, phone calls, contact of any sort from me) has fallen by the wayside these last few months. Most of my assignments cannot be done while my children are awake (come to think of it, almost nothing outside of caring for and tending to them can be done while they are awake . . . we are still at a very needy age/stage here at Casa de Cowart.) That leaves the evenings, which is when I blogged once-upon-a-time.

I miss blogging. I have so many thoughts mucking about and would love to hash it all out and "relieve" myself in that way. Blogging can be so therapeutic. As I can tell after having spilled all this information. Ahhhh.

All this is meant to say that this very well may be the last time I post until I get back from the workshop at the end of September. Just wanted you all to know that I do not plan to continue in this lack of posting. Rather, it is a season of busy-ness. I would not call the certification requirements rigorous, but they are quite time consuming. There's a ton of work left! I'll update here and on my birth blog whenever I'm able!

What's Up with Face Book?

2009-09-05T02:31:00.008-06:00

I have been an inactive member of Facebook now for about 18 months. By "inactive," I mean I do not have a picture, a status, a friend, a wall . . . anything. I'm just "there."

But the other day, I noticed that I had a ton of new friend requests; like something had notified a bunch of people that I am "there." Until a couple weeks ago, I would get maybe one or two friend requests a month. Maybe it's that all you could see on my profile was my "recent" activity which was joining. Since there's no date, it might seem like I really have recently joined. So I deleted the part that said I joined, so as not to confuse any more people. Oh, and also the part that says I joined a network, so that people wouldn't think, Oh, yes, that's the Sarah Cowart and then click "Request Friendship." (Horrors! That would be awful.)

Why I'm only "there" on FB (or what I like to call "In-Your-Face-Book") is a complicated subject, but has to do with me trying to wrestle and hash out the relational and other ramifications of such technology (blogs have some of these ramifications, too!). My sisters know all-too-well my Facebook aversion, as I continue to pepper them with annoying questions about how it works and if it's risky like I think it is.

And the way some people seem to use Facebook is a real turn-off for me (as I've heard it is for others as well). Kinda like I don't appreciate blogs that only put the wonderful side of life out there along with the suggestion that this perfect side is all that is there. Or the "life is harder for me than for anyone else" posts de drama And I have to admit, I believe my posts probably have both of these general tones at times, but I hope people understand that I often use my blog as a diary to decompress and share things I won't probably tell most people in person, but in no way does it represent the entirety of my attitude or activities . . . but back to my point about FB . . . , I really don't want to use it as a way to show off or complain (Are you thinking, "yeah, right!"?) or make it a popularity contest (Hmmmm. Just how many friends can I have?) or a blow-by-blow of every event in my life.

When I do become an active member, I won't be posting about my 5 a.m. morning run or my 3rd loaf of stone-ground whole-wheat bread I've just pulled out of the oven while playing the harp and teaching my advanced-for-her-age child French and Algebra (she has such thick hair, by the way!) or that I'm taking a break from my doctoral thesis to fly (on wings I just weaved on my silk loom) to Angola on a mission of mercy.

Nor do I hope to post every time I have to clean throw up off a piece of furniture or other surface, hose off a blow-out, wash a dish, drink a cup of coffee, scrub a toilet, trim a hangnail or check Facebook. (Though now that I think of it, it would be kinda fun to keep updating my status, day after day: "Checking Facebook" and "Updating my status.")

Until I am completely comfortable with the Pandora's box that will open by my becoming "active," and what exactly my point will be in doing so, I will continue to just be "there" on In-Your-Face-Book. And since a great deal of my dilemma has to do with accepting friends (so many to choose from. . . and all of them seem to be saying, "Pick me! Pick me!". . . I'm totally exaggerating. I don't have that many requests.), I will wait to accept even one friend until I am fully prepared to deal with the consequences of my truly "joining" the community. (It should not be offensive to any "potential friends" that I have not accepted them, since clearly on my profile, I have none to begin with, right?)

I wonder if there are people out there who share my caution in joining such a consequential community. I have my reasons. Am I alone?

Do You Know What This Is?

2009-08-18T23:56:00.001-06:00

It is the first load of laundry in months that went from totally soaked to bone dry in 36 minutes. Not impressive, you say? Well, I'm ecstatic!

It has been several weeks now that our dryer has taken two to three hour-long cycles to completely dry a small load of lightweight fabrics. Whereas my usual routine is to do one load of laundry a day (it's a big one--thank God for front-loaders!), the routine has twisted slightly into taking an entire day to do one load of laundry.

Sometime in the spring (not surprisingly, as you will soon understand), our (ahem) one-year-old dryer began taking longer and longer to dry loads of laundry. By summer time, it had gotten bad enough that I had to notice (I am not the most observant person, and often doubt my impressions until the facts are undeniable).

So, about June-ish, I vacuumed out the place where the lint catcher sits and took a look at the foil hose behind the dryer. How relieved I was that I had decided not to grab that huge wet ball of lint at the bottom of the hose, because it turned out to be a dead bird. I was more than a little disturbed and grossed out; had to take a break for a moment and compose myself.

A dead bird. In our house. And me daily supplying the carcass with tons of wet air, making a very good situation for nastiness. But it wasn't that nasty. Not that I breathed deeply as I was dealing with it, but I was a little surprised that it hadn't gotten our attention by means of smell. Perhaps it had just fallen in a few days ago, but then why had the dryer been having problems for months already?

Anyway, fast forward another month and I notice (being no more observant than I was before) that cleaning out the airways did not seem to do much to improve the dryer's performance. So, like a good, responsible person, I decided to take a gander at the owner's manual.

My hubby and I have many things in common. One of the perspectives we do not share is when we crack open the user's manual. When he recieves something, before (or as) he uses it, he will take a big chunk of time--like hours and sometimes over days--to review the manual; reading about and testing different aspects and capabilities, no matter the item.

I, on the other hand, will rarely open the manual for any object, unless at least one of these criteria are met: a) I have absolutely no frame of reference on how to use it/what it's for or b) It is not working properly.

As you may have guessed, since I have been using a dryer regularly for nigh these 25 years, I had not to this point had a reason to open said manual. I found some helpful troubleshooting hints, but none of them made a difference.

In the perusal of the manual, I discovered the installation had been done incorrectly last year, so we set about arranging the replacement of a part that was not recommended to be used with our dryer. Today, they came to replace the part. I tried not to get too excited that maybe today would be the day that I didn't have to re-start the dryer two extra times to get a load dry, only slightly hopeful that this could be the reason for our dryer woes.

So, I was only a teensy-weensy bit disappointed this afternoon to come home and find the load laying heavily and obviously wet in the dryer. I turned it on for another hour and expressed to Casey that apparently, the foil tubing was not the only problem. Our dryer saga continues . . .

Case, not that surprised himself that putting a different type of ventilation on the back of the dryer didn't solve everything, decided to look outside again (which we had each done before on different occasions) and see if he could snake out the house venting. Perhaps there was something in the wall venting that caused the lack of air flow (which we knew was at the bottom of this problem).

Getting a ladder, he climbed up (it is strangely placed--about 8 or more feet above ground. Not the best thing for air flow itself, I'm sure) to peer in and fish about with a hanger, and in so doing, found . . . a nest.

A really big nest. With sticks and grass and plastic wrappers and feathers and two rotting eggs.

Which makes perfect sense with June's bird and all, but there was no sign from the outside (debris) that the birds had chosen it to be their home, and the vent has a flap (presumably to keep this kind of thing from happening) that was only about a half-inch open anytime we had checked.

So, it may seem like small potatoes that my dryer can dry a load of sheets in less than three hours now, but to me, it is SO EXCITING!!!! There's nothing like having lost the use of an appliance that makes me appreciate it that much more. These things really do make life easier!

Pseudo-Update and TMI

2009-08-13T03:37:00.001-06:00

Taking a break from a crazy last few weeks to check my e-mail and catch up on my blog-reading. Wow. You all have been busy a-bloggin'!

There really is so much going on that it wouldn't do to try to post about all of it. My little sis came down last week to show off her newest addition. And what do you know? She does have all her hair. I hope I got a few pics I can post later (it is such a blur, I really don't remember taking many). They were here about a week and I actually think I could tell a behavior difference in little Grady by the time they left on Monday. He seemed to last longer between feedings and wasn't quite as fussy in the evenings/nights. I hope that continues, Deb! Wouldn't it be nice to have a quiet, contented newborn? I'm sure you dream of that one day. Maybe on the next one. Not that you need to be thinking about a "next one" at the moment.

Today I had a friendly reminder that God is the one who opens and closes my womb. Unfortunately, that was not my first response upon noticing this monthly gift. A far more fleshly (i.e., grumpy) response was mine this morning as I pried my eyes open and tried to down some coffee to snap myself out of said bad mood. Contrary to what I had always heard (and hoped), cramps for me did not lessen in intensity once I gave birth. In fact, I would dare to say they have intensified (I really feel as if I'm in labor every month, only this contraction lasts all day with no break and after all that, I have no baby to show for it), and along with the cramps comes an anger I have not experienced prior to having had my first child.

Weepy, I've always been, but angry? That's a new PMS symptom since Ruby was born. And it, like the cramps, seems to intensify with time, as well. What will the next decade bring? I jokingly tell Casey maybe our "family planning" decisions will one day be permanently solved by a hysterectomy when either he or I give up trying to deal with this. This is the first time in years I have broken down and taken something for the cramps.

Usually, I see it as a practice session (and a very good one, I might add) to keep up on relaxation techniques in order to remain prepared for birth. But life with three children doesn't always accomodate a monthly two-day birth rehersal, so tonight and tomorrow I am taking Midol (I believe this is why I'm up, but at least I'm not hurting). I'll confess, it was a struggle all the way home from the store where I'd bought the drug: I felt very guilty taking something since I am still breastfeeding. This is the other reason I haven't taken drugs much at all since I got prego with Ruby. Almost without exception, I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 5 years. And in my mind, it seems logical that if I'm going to birth without drugs, I shouldn't expose my babies to drugs too-big-for-them beyond birth, either. (Yes, there is a lack of logic in my logic: that of continuing to consume caffiene throughout these same five years. Truly, I have a dizzying intellect, right?)

Plus, I think in general it is a good idea to listen to your body's cues. If I or my hubby has a headache, backache, etc., a massage, nap or bath is in order. All day, I had this fight in my head, that instead of bulldozing through, I should take it easy. But that's much easier said than done as a mom with little ones. It is much more realistic to just take something and pretend I'm not in this "condition" rather than try (and try is the operative word here) to rest and relax through my body's cues. Which is what I plan to continue at the zoo tomorrow (or today, I guess). It goes against what I believe to be smart, yet I really want to do something fun with my kiddos, so drugged I'll be, and happy they'll be. . . or ELSE!!!!

All kidding aside, Case was home sick today, and was able to help me quite a bit with the children as he worked from home. I do not believe it would have been pretty had he not been here. He did tease me that if he was going to do that every time--put a ton of time in for work as well as have a major role in caring for the children--he might just go to work next time he's sick! But he did admit he found it enjoyable and would love to work from home some day. I can't disagree. That sounds pretty great to me, too. We'll take him whenever we can. He's "The B E S T" (said in "Nacho Libre" fashion, of course).

More Milestones

2009-07-31T23:55:00.007-06:00

In the Cowart family this past month:

Claire turned three!

Haley started walking!

Haley got 3 new teeth (2 molars--a little out of order).

To her usual "more" sign, Haley has added "please," "thank you" and "eat."
Haley has also added words to her speech: "amen," "yes," "yeah," "What's that?" (as she points), "don't" and "stop." She must hear me say the last two pretty often—those words were discovered while we were in Colorado. As the four of us girls fell asleep in our room every evening or naptime, three of us would be serenaded by a baby's protesting yell, followed by that same baby sternly barking, "No! . . . Don't! . . . Stop!" ("no! do! Sto!") Last week, she started saying amen, which is usually repeated over and over as soon as we put her in her high chair and (until recently) continues until the end of the prayer, becoming more and more insistent as time passes. I have to say, the first part is a good reminder, because it is not unusual for me to forget to thank God for our food when it is just us girls (and the meals are, shall we say, informal). The latter. . . well, we're training her out of that.
Haley now eats almost 100% table/real food. Last month, she enjoyed her first peanut butter and banana sandwich. I am only needing to chop about 2-3 meals a week in the food chopper, and she feeds herself about 50-75% of the time now, so that has freed me up considerably.
In the car, Haley now faces forward!

And Claire (who passed her car seat to Haley) now has a cute girly booster, on which she proudly sits. A bargain: we paid less than $60 (with s&h) at Target.com and it was delivered to our door in two days! She just has to learn how to put her seatbelt on now. She was able to do her own (very complicated) 5-point harness before. It would seem I've made more work for myself by trading her up.

Ruby writes her name. The order of the letters often changes, but she now puts all the letters together, instead of just her initial, which is how she's signed her name for a while.

Claire recognizes many letters by the sounds they make. ("Look, Mom! There's a C,C, Claire!")
My Birth Blog turned two! The day I started that blog was Claire's first birthday. I went to a friend's wedding that evening (a friend whose wife would go on to have a prodromal labor almost exactly year and a half later . . . what are the odds?!), then came home and tweaked and published my first post
(Claire's Birth Story) on that blog.
AND. . . (drum roll, please!). . . this week marks a first in our over-six-year marriage: 14+ months without pregnancy! We've come close to 14 months twice (almost exactly 14 months after we got married, we were prego w/Ruby and Claire was 13 ½ months old when we got prego w/Haley), but until now, we never made it over that mark. To some of our friends, this means we are "due" to be prego with number four soon, since we do absolutely nothing to prevent pregnancy. Though I don't argue that it is likely that we will be pregnant again at some point (since every month, I can get pregnant), I challenge this kind of thinking in a post I'm working on for my birth blog, entitled: Yes, I am Fertile; No, I'm Not Pregnant. (I'll add a link when it's posted for those who are curious to know what it's like to live "month-to-month" in this way.)

Vacation From My Problems, Part 2

2009-07-20T21:28:00.001-06:00

My beautiful sis, Deb. Karin got some lovely pictures with her new Cannon Rebel. Unfortunately, I will not be showing many of them, because of this craziness with Blogger (uploading pictures). So many of the solutions I've found include taking three (or four or five) extra steps--half of which I do not understand--and I just don't have that kind of time to hash it all out. Anyone else getting halted/slowed in posting pictures since the end of June? I'm done fighting with it.
Deb and Alan the Second (who is Karin's, not Deb's, son).

My oldest sister, Maranatha. As a group of lost lambs, we look to her for direction. Sometimes she gives it to us.

Uncle Daniel hanging with the kiddos. They love him! (Who doesn't love Daniel?)

Claire, Daniel, Lydia, Ruby and Isaac.

Isaac is the oldest grandchild. There is only a four year difference between him and his Uncle David. (Not surprisingly, they often act like siblings). Too bad all the boys are coming along now, huh, Isaac? Where were they ten years ago?

Karin and Alan the Second. He looks so much like Karin did as a baby/child. I'm sure his dad's family says the same thing about Alan, but I can see Karin so much (minus the platinum blonde hair).

Since they live in the same city, Lyd has been holding Caiden since he was born. He loves her. Too bad all the cousins can't grow up together.

Deb, Caiden and Brett.

Another grandkid pic. I know I posted one last post, but it's funny to try to get a picture of a group this large and dynamic (and mobile).

The four sisters: Maranatha, me, Deborah and Karin. It's great having sisters!

One night, my sisters and mom arranged a girl's night, for which childcare was pre-arranged for my little ones. (Uncles Dan and Dave to the rescue!)

The girl's night was a pamper night, all a surprise to me. I happened to bring some manicure stuff (because it was a girl's night, after all; thought we could stand to soften our hands). But Karin was strongly suspicious that something had leaked about the "plan" for that night. (I would love to post a few pics of our lovely evening, but not now while it is so difficult with Blogger. Perhaps when they get the kinks worked out, I will come back and add those pictures.)

Karin and Deb had decorated Deb's house beautifully with tons of candles (100, to be exact--Lydia counted them) and Maran brought wine and several different kinds of exotic cheese. It was a lovely, relaxing evening. Karin even did my pedicure for me. (It has lasted a month now, Karin! I'm just now having to take the polish off!) What a great surprise and a perfect way to spend time with one another. Low-key with plenty of talk time and something fun and practical to accomplish. That my sisters would go to all that trouble was a sweet picture of their love for me. I relished the time, ladies! Thank you for several wonderful hours of girliness!

Ahhh, A Vacation From My Problems

2009-07-18T08:39:00.002-06:00

I have been attempting to post for this for the last few weeks (I just noticed I started it in June!), but getting pictures uploaded has been a real bear, so our little June getaway will now be in two posts in no particular order. (For which I have my computer-husband to thank. Having the latest versions of software can actually hamper one in these things. Since my computer is more up-to-date than Blogger, I am not able to use the usual shortcuts--cut and paste--among other weirdness. More than a tad annoying, but I shouldn't complain. At least I have 24 hour support! Too bad it's not my computer that's the problem.)

In June, the girls and I had the privilege of driving up to Colorado to spend time with family. My sister Karin and her son, Alan the Second flew over from Rhode Island and we decided to join in the festivities and get all four Schultz sisters assembled in one location. Who knows when that will happen again?

Unfortunately (but it turned out to be quite fortunate), I had misplaced my camera during the drive, and was too lazy to tear apart our duffles to find it. So, I asked 3 people to let me have copies of the pictures taken during that week. Turns out I got about 700 pictures to sort through and I love it. So many pics I could never have captured on just my camera. I should leave my camera on purpose next time! (J.K. guys--I won't do that to you . . . maybe:).

Uncle Daniel. What can I say about this guy? He is not your average teenager. Super with kiddos. Were it not for him, we would have driven A.L.O.N.E. (and realistically, we would not have come up at all). Yep. Daniel was my navigator, and more importantly, another adult to join me in getting the girls in and out of their car seats and contented on the road. Thanks a ton, Dan!

The girl's oldest cousin, Lydia. They look up to her, and she does well as "the boss" (that's what my girls call her), though dealing with all the fighting tires her out and makes her seek a little alone time. (Me too, Lyd.)

Ruby loved Papa's pool toys (Snack bags with air in them. Shh. . . don't tell the safety police!)

The girls enjoy bath time with cousin Caiden. He's not sure what to think of so much estrogen.

Caid looks so much like a baby here, but he is no longer the baby . . . his little bro-- Grady Ellison was born last Sunday morning and his uncles tell me that Caiden suddenly looks quite big and old in comparison to the 6 1/2 pound peanut! These boys are about 15 months apart. What can I say, Deb? I'm glad you're all living with Mom and Dad right now! You'll be better for it! Perhaps you WILL have all your hair when I see you again (though grey is sure to come soon, right?)!

I love this expression on Caid's face.

We were gone for a total of 8 days. That's the longest I've ever been away from Casey, (Sorry to rub it in, military friends! I had felt a little guilty in admitting this, until I ran into a friend who has been married for over 25 years who was just in the middle of her longest time away from her hubby--10 days. Maybe it isn't that bad that it took 6 years for us to be separated that long.) In that week, we went on picnics, swam, hiked, played cards, jumped on the trampoline, had a girl's night, celebrated Father's Day and my birthday.

It was marvelous. I refer to this week (in true "What About Bob?" fasion) as: "a vacation from my problems." I have not had such a restful and relaxing time since. . . I don't know when . . . possibly our trip to the beach with Casey's family a few Christmases ago? Having so many other people to entertain my children, I hardly lifted a finger. It worked out well that the girls were so occupied for almost every waking moment: I only had to deal with a handful of discipline issues.

Even though it was wonderful to experience such a huge break, all good things must come to an end. Eight days was a perfect time to be ready to get back to real life, while not yet being sick of our vacation. As some of you parents with young children can probably attest to, it is not that our children cannot be "good" for periods of time, but how "good" they appear is almost always directly related to one thing: what (and how much) we're requiring of them. (Incidentally, I think this is why those from the staunch "attachment parenting" group can have such well-behaved kids. What child isn't well-behaved when everything revolves around them?)

Yes, it was relieving to have the girls so occupied that they rarely got in trouble, except for the occasional bad attitude, but I was thankful that in returning to our real life situation of not having so much help (and therefore, not having as much to distract/occupy them), I had to start requiring a little more of them back at home.

I believe it is good for the girls (and their parents) that they are not always occupied/entertained and need to share and wait in everyday life. It certainly would be fun and a ton less work if we were in such a vacation situation on a regular basis, but I believe it would be harmful to their (and our) development of certain character traits. So, though I loved the time up there, common sense reassures me that a regular diet of such ease would not be good for us in the long run.

I think of it like a (traditional) home mortgage: the interest is front-loaded. There is a ton more work in these early years than there could be if we were to just let them do what they want, but as we get disciplined habits and expectations established, the work should be minimized as each year goes by and they are better and better capable of controlling and regulating themselves. They will be better equipped to handle "real life" (where the world does not revolve around them) as they enter adulthood.

All but three of the grandchildren. Savannah and her brother, Elijah are missing, and so is Grady (who happened to be tied up in the womb at the moment).

From left to right: Caiden, Lydia, Ruby, Alan the Second, Isaac, Claire and Haley. Until about a year ago, girls far outnumbered boys among the grandchildren.

Caiden hangs with Papa.

My littlest sis, Deb. (Who, at 36 weeks prego, happened to be my biggest sis as well!)

My brother, David, has always been a virtual monkey. He has climbed things ever since before he could walk. He'd climb trees when he was two. Just shimmy up the tree like a bear cub.
It is nearly impossible to see him in this pic, but he is waaaay up there in the rocks.

Here he is, probably a good hundred feet above us.

Auntie M loves on Haley.

The Three Musketeers.

Caiden's daddy likes to tease.

Just to Get it Done. . .

2009-06-29T22:40:00.003-06:00

I am going to jam a ton of stuff into one post. Forgive me.

On Mother's Day (yes, that's how far behind I am--only moreso!) Casey and the girls agreed to take me to dinner at my favorite restaurant: Macaroni Grill. It was a long wait (45 min) but it was worth it. The great thing about that place is that a squawk from a baby or a protest (even quite loud) from an on-the-verge-of-a-fit toddler just blends into the overall din of the restaurant. Therefore, it was more relaxing than a fast food joint, believe it or not.

Haley loved sharing my meal with me. Noodles are so fun!

Ruby and Claire enjoyed a visit from their cousin, Savannah, last month. Savannah and her mommy brought the newest cousin for us to see for the first time.

Elijah (yes, a boy, despite the pink boppy--it's Haley's, not his!) slept most of the time. Here, he is 11 days old. He was born (at home--whoohoo, Tiff!) on May 2, and weighed 8 lbs. This boy was "late" by a few weeks. I teased Tiffany that she must have taken my mom too seriously when Mom gave her a hard time about all the April b-days our family already had and must have held off from birthing so as not to add to the already over-full month. (I still think Deb had an early baby last year just so he wouldn't have an April b-day! :)

Mom was in town for the week to help Si and Tiff.

The gist of the conversation that surrounded this picture (that made us chuckle to ourselves):

Me: "Claire, stay on Nana's lap another minute. I want to get a picture."

Claire: "Mmm, no thanks, Mom."

Elijah in his mommy's arms. He was very quiet that day. The update from his uncles is that, at one month, he was very alert and had a strong set of lungs.

A special thing about Elijah: though the fourth born grandson on my parents side of the family, he is the first grandson to carry on the Schultz name. Odd, considering my parents are going on ten grandchildren as of this moment. The reason? Only one of their four boys is married so far. (Ahem, single ladies--JK! You know I'm not that way!)

Haley found Elijah very exciting.

The next day, the girls and I met Nana and Savannah at the zoo. (No, we did not relinquish the children to the zoo, as this photo indicates. Our first stop was the play area so I could feed Haley. Normally, I make it a point to not have activities going on every day (I consider even grocery shopping an "activity") but I've realized that I need to sieze the moment when it comes to having help around. Since Mom was in town, and Savannah needed an outing, to the zoo we went!

The girls watch the seals and sea lions being fed. I know what you're thinking: this pic sure would be better if it had a seal or sea lion in it. I was a little lazy about pictures. Just being at the zoo was enough effort!

Haley enjoyed the small bit of time she spent in the wagon (the rest was mostly in the sling or in my arms--such a clingy baby!).

One of the orangatans was by the window this time. Something we haven't encountered before. The girls were very curious, and so was he!

Ruby and the ape exchange quiet glances.

It was hard getting all four in one picture.

On our way out, we stopped to say goodbye to the stinky flamingos. (To this day, the girls describe any picture of the pink birds as "those stinky birds.")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our girls had the special privilege that day to see both grandmas in one day. This has only happened twice before. They have yet to see them at the same time, though. This was as close as we got: the zoo with my mom in the morning, and the airport to pick up Sandy in the afternoon.

Sandy cleaned their little slide and put it in a different place in the yard. What, for the last 6 or more months has remained an unloved, untouched, unclimbed-upon large piece of plastic, those simple changes made a desirable and exciting toy once again. The girls (all of them) played on it for quite a while.

Haley finds herself at the bottom of the pile.

But . . .

Don't worry . . .

This should assure you . . .

She's not exactly helpless.

Somehow, it is very exciting to go down the slide upside down with Haley sitting atop. They couldn't get enough.

Getting dark . . . mosquitos out. Time for bed, short ones (yes, you too, Lita :)!

This is just a random picture from that week. As we finished getting dinner together one evening, I put Haley's dinner in the food chopper and was touched with the beauty of it. Salmon with onions, spinach and pasta salad. Yum!

Chillin' by the pool.

I wasn't joking the other week when I referred to the infantesimile pool. But it's great for kids this size (especially when only one of them likes to get more than her feet wet).

Every time I give the girls a bath, I think about how I have zero bath pics of Haley. But the camera is always downstairs and they are already in the water when I remember. With Sandy here, I could run and get it. They all love bath time, but I'll give you one guess as to who is just crazy about water.

Haley's a good sport.

Soon, I hope to post an explanation to this picture, regarding an evening ritual our girls love. I want to include a video, though, and don't have the time to fight with Blogger for an hour just to find that it froze. I'll need a big chunk of time and a bigger chunk of patience!

I think I may know where Haley gets her cute shoulder-shrugging smile.

She's way into doing things like this. Keeps her occupied. I like it.

The last day that Sandy was here (I knew I'd run out of steam if I tried to do it alone--carpe diem, right?), we helped the girls make beaded spider webs and spiders; a craft from April's Family Fun magazine.

It took quite awhile. Though the project was not meant for such a young age, the spider webs turned out well.

Claire loved sorting her beads and putting them in categories.

Ruby was a little more on task.

The girls help 'Lita get ready to fly back to Oregon.

She's such a sport.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby had her last lesson in May. I wanted to post a video showcasing the last performance they did (Ruby was not involved in the final event, like last time). Video will have to wait. . .

The Herd Overheard

2009-06-14T16:32:00.004-06:00

Casey, having had a 3 ½ hour night of sleep due to sick kiddos: "When you have a lack of tired. . ." and "That makes my finger cringe." 3/22/09

Ruby to Daddy re: Haley: "I'll comfortable she." (I'll comfort her) 3/29/09

Ruby, discussing a movie she just saw: "No, Claire. Cows don't really 'save the day'." 4/14/09

Claire, sighing: "I have two babies to deal with." 4/14/09

Claire, looking at photos: "I was being tickled by an armpit." 4/19/09

Mommy (unloading the car): "Take your cup with you."

Ruby: "I can't; I'm full of hands." 4/23/09

Ruby, singing the chorus of a Hymn: "And His glory is exhausted." (exalted) 5/10/09

Mommy to Claire (After she'd run out the front door to wave to the garbage man.): "We don't say 'hi' when we're naked." 5/11/09

Ruby, playing with action figures(?), introducing herself and her friend to Claire's action figures: "I'm Cinderella and this is Butch. He's just mad at people." 5/25/09

Ruby, looking at some family pics: "Mom you look funny lots of times." 5/28/09

Claire, holding part of her dinner on a finger: "Some time, I could give this to a cow." 5/30/09

Daddy, describing his 7-up: "Overall, it's just too bland."
Claire: "Daddy, you shouldn't say, 'you stupid man'!" 6/4/09

Ruby, playing action figures with Claire: "Careful, Chuck! You have your life way ahead of you!"
Claire (Chuck): "Okay. I will hold my breath." 6/9/09

Bright Spots

2009-06-11T15:33:00.001-06:00

One of the things I've noticed in these days of Casey and I being sick is that in some ways, life is simpler and easier. Granted, we don't feel great, are sleep-deprived and whatever energy we have is short-lived. And yes, being sick and tired has meant we need to be that much more determined to train the children in kindness and obedience during this time.

But, despite there being an increasing stack of paperwork on the kitchen counter, unfinished projects sitting lonely and untouched in virtually every room, piles of clean laundry here and there around the house, dandelions growing free and unencumbered in the lawn, and other responsibilities piling up, overall, there is the sense of the pressure being off. I thought it may just be me, but yesterday morning, Casey mentioned surprise at his low blood pressure reading (a trip to his doctor today revealed that we are dealing with both viral and bacterial sicknesses that somehow hit us at the same time or one piggybacked on the other--no wonder it is lasting too long--it's two different things). I thought it only made sense for his blood pressure to be low; "We've been sitting around for days," I reminded him.

This last week has been no picnic, and don't get me wrong: I look forward to getting back to real life again, but as challenging as it has been, it has been so good for us. To hone in and focus only on doing true necessities has helped tremendously in the discipline department. There are moments where it takes everything in us to go deal with that situation, yet we realize the priority of doing so, and I hate to admit that this is probably the most consistent we have been in a chunk of time like this. (And we try to be consistent--it's just hard to do. We could always do better with consistency.) And though it is not a great thing, it also encouraged me to see Casey wearing down in his usual patient and calm discipline of the girls toward the end of the week. Perhaps it's not just me--perhaps they can give others a run for their money, too!

So, as much time and energy as it takes to keep up on these things (averaging about one correction/discipline/consequence doled out every 5-10 minutes that they are awake--I'm not kidding--it requires a great deal of stamina and resolve to handle these little ones' shenanigans), since training the children is one of the only things that have made it onto our priority list this week, it is helpful to see that at least the girls know we mean business, even if it hasn't changed their choices.

As to other things, things have been pretty low-key this week and we both feel pretty relaxed about life right now, which is a refreshing break. I don't feel guilty about things that "should" or "could" be done, and Casey doesn't worry that the yard needs mowing, etc.

So, I guess I wanted to write down what a blessing this difficult time has been to our family, and how thankful I am that we've had the experience (and I have to admit, how grateful I am that it HAS to be ending soon . . . right?). It will be good to look back and remember that even in the midst of challenging times, there were bright spots.

No One Untouched

2009-06-07T14:15:00.006-06:00

Tuesday will mark the completion of the third solid week of sickness in our family. Back in mid-May, Ruby contracted what we originally thought was an ear infection, but by the next night, decided it was pain caused by congestion. Thus began our saga with a multi-symptom flu(?) virus that affects weird things like the eyes and the hearing and continues to surprise us in its duration.

Since that May day, the virus claims another family member at the rate of about one every 5 days. Saturday, it claimed its last victim: Casey. Unfortunately, I came down with it only 2 days prior, and only Ruby seems to be completely out of the woods so far.

All of us are dragging considerably. In the past few days, our minimal effort in meal prep has meant lots of tea, yogurt, toast, crackers, Ramen noodles . . . great for improving our health, right? We are seriously on survival mode, and I guess it is a blessing that this virus suppresses the appetite, because when both parents are this sick, meals are only one of the hurdles to get over.

This morning, Casey and I found ourselves sitting on the couch like zombies, blowing our noses, one of the girls' videos playing, all three children playing (or something) at our feet. (Sweet guy; he took the girls downstairs to let me sleep a little longer this morning). Even today, three days after I came down sick, I feel the need for a rest after getting lunch for everyone and emptying the dishwasher. A trip upstairs makes me winded. Casey is recovering from a pulled something in his chest due to . . . um . . . much heaving yesterday. The virus has hit him the hardest in the symptom department. Good times!

As I was succumbing to this sickness on Wednesday night, I thought to myself, "Why now, when I'm finally getting a good routine down, some exercise, seeing some improvement in my house and progress in my attitude with the girls? I'm going to lose all that headway." But by the next day, I began to see what a blessing it was that for those three days, I had made a dent in housework and maintenance (though that may have also been what pushed me over the edge in getting this sickness :). It facilitated Casey taking care of the girls and not going crazy (he likes things clean) while I was sick and has made it to where doing a few dishes several times a day and minimal laundry keeps us not too far behind (it probably helps considerably that we--as in all of us--stay in pjs all day:). Of course, I will admit that at the same time, our home is not exactly "company ready." It works out well, though, that company probably wants to stay as far away from us as possible at this moment!

So, as much as I am a little late in asking this, I was wondering if any readers have tips on ways to survive when both parents are sick at the same time while little children are underfoot. God has been so gracious to us. This rarely happens, and we are thankful that at least we didn't come down with it on the same day. As rare as it is for us both to be out-of-commission at once, it would do us some good to have a game plan on what to do when it happens, as it is sure to happen again. We never were so sick so often until parenthood! And our kids don't even go to preschool, daycare or a church nursery. How do people do it?

Please send me your ideas!

Cola Consumption

2009-06-02T15:02:00.008-06:00

Okay, I'll admit it; I have a serious attachment to cherry cola. One that I would have classified as borderline addictive, until I read this Yahoo article, titled, Too Much Cola Can Cause Muscle Problems. My friend forwarded the link to me with this summary attached: "Drinking too much cola can increase the risk of a muscle problem called hypokalemia, experts warn."

Naturally, I was curious to know in what and how much danger my 12 oz of cola a day (or 24 oz every other or every few days) habit placed me. So, though I usually delete most forwards, I decided to check this one out.

To my relief (and utter shock), I discovered that the review concerned people who drank two to seven liters of cola a day. (!) This fact makes the article almost too outlandish. Instead of taking my cola consumption seriously, I sat there and thought, "Duh." It is almost certain that people who consume such large quantities of cola face many more health concerns than the one mentioned in the article, especially considering that their other lifestyle decisions are likely to be equally as out of control. Most disturbing is the mention of two pregnant women who consumed 3 and up to 7 liters a day. They were each admitted to the hospital with low potassium levels, complaining of weakness and fatigue, among other things. Those poor babies!

Wow. So, sadly, instead of coming away with a resolve to drink less cola, I feel pretty good about my cola consumption, due to this article! While I usually think I should cut back to a can every few days, what I've just read makes my cola drinking seem the picture of moderation.

And I guess that's what I come away with when I read this and other articles like it: that moderation is the key. There are plenty of health nuts out there who, (I didn't say it--my husband did!) look like they're ten years older than they are, and then there are people who die very young of heart disease and other health-related illnesses. But there are those seventy-and eighty-something men and women who have never cut out red meat, butter, eggs, colas, sugar or carbs from their diets, who do not overly exercise, who have stayed healthy and trim and have few health concerns. If asked about their diets, the list will often include many of the supposed no-nos in food trends. I am more and more convinced the importance is not in what is consumed, but how much.

As to cutting back on my Cherry Coke habit, it would seem I'll need a more relevant article to open my eyes to the dangers and health risks of one cola a day.

Happy First Birthday, Haley!

2009-05-29T23:54:00.004-06:00

Haley enjoying her birthday party. Just family--I've said we're not the birthday hoopla type. At this age, they don't even know what's going on. The party consisted of a barbecue on the back porch, swimming in the infinitesimal pool (older girls only--Haley watched this time), cupcakes and gifts. Fun enough for all of us.

Ruby had the job of adding sprinkles to the cupcakes.

Haley looks on with anticipation (or just contentedness).

We decided to celebrate Haley's birthday on the 18th, the night before Sandy left. Even though we weren't doing anything special, I knew if we didn't do it while Sandy was here, I wouldn't have the energy to do it at all. Thanks for all your help, Sandy!

Haley hangs out in the back yard while we get ready for cake.

Haley jabbers on the lawn while Ruby and Claire do some playing and tidying up (this cracked me up--especially Claire's swimsuit. Can't really see it very well on this size video. A good thing, probably).

These present pictures are supposed to be last, but I'm tired of fighting with Blogger. I cannot get pictures to move nowadays (at least not without significant effort).

As is usual for this age, Haley was more into the paper than the presents. But Ruby and Claire made up for that with their excitement over the gifts.

She may not know what's going on, but she's mesmerized, even so!

Going for the flame.

Haley's first cupcake (I think--can't remember those things with the third child). She has had sweets before, though. (In fact, yesterday, I let her suck on a few lollipops she'd found while crawling around in our candy cupboard--wrappers and all--just so I could finish dinner without extra difficulty. Never would have happened with one-year-old Ruby. Pretty sad when I allow things like that just so my life is easier. Maybe someday my decisions will not be based so much on convenience.)

Enjoying her first cupcake.(?) I believe this picture says, "Yum, Mommy!"

She wasn't the only one excited about chocolate!

Laughed so hard I cried on this one. Two things to notice: the rather large chunk of cupcake Ruby carries around for the first minute of the video. (It is significant for the rest of the video.) Also, it took me watching three times (all of which I was laughing hysterically) before I noticed that Claire was pushing Ruby repeatedly at the end. Wow. She knows when her parents are distracted and not paying attention! Cracking down on that kind of thing this week, though. She won't get away with it every time. We will see to that.

The (Real) Birthday Girl

Haley lays on the cheesiness on her actual birthday.

"What's Ruby doing out there, Daddy?" (Okay, so maybe just "Da-Da.")

That it was rainy that day was a stroll down memory lane, as it had been rainy the day she was born, only more so this year. I would have really loved more of that kind of weather while I was in labor. Rain is so soothing to me--at least living here in New Mexico, where it is not common. (This is not our house. It is the house across the street. I was too lazy to walk out in the rain.)

(Again, supposed to be the last picture.) "This is getting boring, Mom."

I was a bad Mommy and took my evening off on Haley's birthday. (Casey's trying to give me one every week--we just started the week before her birthday.) Felt kinda guilty, but then I remembered that I had left Claire on her first birthday, too, and had gone to a wedding. Perhaps I should make it a tradition. Only for the first birthday, though.

Since I'd be gone when Haley actually turned one (at 4:24 p.m.), I asked Casey to try to get a picture of her by the clock then. (I know. Totally cheesy. Really. But I've done it with the other girls on their birthdays, so I needed to keep it up, right?) Well, Case forgot (he was trying to get dinner for them and didn't get any pictures whatsoever). I forgive him . . . but maybe I should have stayed home that night.

Or perhaps I should chuck the picture-by-the-clock tradition. If we have more children, what if one of them is born at 2 a.m.? Am I going to wake them up and drag them to a clock so I can take a picture? Perhaps it is time to say goodbye to this weirdness.

"Should I show my teeth, Mom? Even though it reminds y0u of Laurence Fishburne?"

A few things about our one-year-old: She is 18 lb, 9 oz and 29 inches long. She eats like a champ (often 2-3 cups of pureed food at a sitting--seriously, she may be thin, but she can pack it away, like her sisters before her--as well as nursing 2-3 times a day). She cruises around everywhere and is just now starting to stand without support for more than a few seconds at a time. My guess is, it will be another month or two before she's walking. Her development seems to be more cognitive than physical for the last month or so. She is very thoughtful looking when she plays (wish I knew what was going on in there) and tries to figure things out (how to put a lid on a cup, how to put a toy in a box, what happens when she drops something/throws something/pushes a button, etc.).

Besides "Da-Da," which she has said for many months now, sometimes referring to Casey, but most of the time referring to everything else in her life (so I don't count it as her first word), Haley started saying her first words at the beginning of May: "No, no." (in a sing-songy voice). She has since added to her repertoire, "Night, Night" ("ni, ni") last week. Yesterday, she finally got "Uh-Oh," too. It has been almost painful to hear her try to say this. She'll get caught up in so many "uhs" or too many "ohs" and it seems absolutely exhausting. We can see her trying to figure out which way she's supposed to move her lips so the other sound will come out. I hope to capture it on video, since she will still revert to this way of saying it, and it is half funny and half pity-inducing to see her struggle so much with it.

Signing has plateaued at one: "More." This sign has become the catch-all sign for anything she wishes to communicate: more, please, yes, thank you. I think she means it to be an affirmation of what we ask her: ("Would you like to get out of your bed?" "Do you want Mommy to hold you?" "Are you hungry?" "Are you finished with your Cheerios?") as well as a request for us to ask her those questions.

In relieving news, Haley is starting to resemble, once again, the Haley we once knew. In the last couple weeks, she has stopped fighting us when we put her in her car seat, a high chair or stroller, and has become. . . not less needy, but less demandingly needy. Recently, if she asks to be held (by signing "more," of course. I'm surprised you asked), I will pick her up and she will often be content with that. She will cuddle against me, or suck her thumb and look around, or sit in my lap and babble and play with her toes. The last four months or more, she did not just want to be held, but she'd yell, arch her back and be discontented with that. It made it so that I didn't really want to hold her, since she was crabby no matter what I did.

This change in her (and Claire's recent illness, which has turned her into a sweetly needy child too) has made me realize that it isn't the neediness that I find so difficult, it is the grumpy, demanding, "I wont be happy anyway" neediness that I can't stand. In fact, the sweet neediness makes me sit down, cuddle up and take it easy with them, read a book, talk about their toy, what they're doing or how they're feeling. If they only knew which way to be needy that helps Mommy do what Mommy should do anyway. . .

We think it has to do with teething, but where are the teeth she was getting? Are they still under the surface but not as painful anymore? So far, her smile consists of two big top teeth, and four tiny bottom ones.

A very welcome change has been in the fact that for the past week, Haley has consistently slept through the night (as in 10-12 hours). This has been very refreshing to not wake for a 2 a.m. feeding. About a month ago, she began sleeping through the night now and then, but only this past week has it been more than a couple nights in a row. One may wonder why it has taken so long, and the short answer is that I have not been forcing it. I noticed that the only nursing where I was absolutly certain she was getting lots of milk was the night nursing (probably because I've been resting). With a baby her size, I decided that I would rather live with a baby who still wakes for a night feeding and gets enough to eat than a baby who sleeps through the night and isn't gaining weight. I've already had one failure to thrive baby (having nothing to do with night feedings, but not having enough to eat--even though she ate more than I did as a pregnant and breastfeeding adult). Yeah, it would have been easier to just go to formula, but that isn't even a consideration for me. Maybe with the fourth or fifth child. . .

Haley still knows how to turn on the charm, and seems to know what to do when the camera comes out. A cheesy smile (overly-toothy-and-gummy and squinty complete with shrugging her shoulders) has come upon her much earlier than I remember it with the other girls. They usually started having forced smiles after two, but Haley's been doing it now for months. It's the Laurence Fishburne look to which I referred earlier. She's a funny gal, and cracks us up (and herself, too, sometimes).

At one year, I have to say that we really enjoy our little girl, and are starting to do so more and more as she grows and interacts with us, but we do not feel badly about her being a year old, or wish she were still a baby, even though it went so fast (a complete and total understatement). I will say that I found myself cuddling her and squeezing her a lot a couple weeks before she turned one, wondering where the time had gone. But we are glad she is one and growing up. We look forward to her future antics and developments. God has been so good to see us through this year. If He wills, He will faithfully see us through another.

One Year Later, and We've All Survived!

2009-05-24T01:30:00.000-06:00

In some cultures, it is customary to have a great celebration on the completion of a baby's first year since it is such a milestone for them to make it to that point. It seems only appropriate that our family celebrate the fact that we are all alive and well at the completion of Haley's first year. We've made it through a year with three preschoolers unscathed! God is so gracious. There were many days this past year (possibly close to half of them!) where I wondered if it would ever get better/easier/less stressful/more enjoyable. It's a little sad that when you have children so close together, the emphasis is more often on surviving than enjoying or thriving; but it is what it is, and God is good nevertheless.

For us, one of the most surprising things we've encountered this year has been how many people don't get that parenting three children three and under is taxing and affects every part of our life. Or that having three children in as many years is very different than having three children over a 6-10 year span. There have been only a few conversations I've had this past year where another mom will acknowledge this, and it is reassuring and refreshing when she does. But for the most part, when I express that, no, I don't . . . (do many errands, jam-pack activities into my week, do much of anything outside my home at all), the usual reaction I get is a perpelxed look from a mom with two little ones or three that are spread apart (a look that says, "Really? Why not?!"). Once in a while I'll have a mom interject, "but mine weren't as close as yours," or nod in understanding when I reply that I really don't make it to the mall to shop clearance sales much nowadays, or that we're not doing that thing since we already have one activity this week.

There have been several well-meaning strangers or acquaintances this past year who have readily advised me, knowing very little of the details and challenges of our situation (which sometimes changes on a minute-by-minute basis!) suggesting I do things this way or that way, since it seems to be a struggle for me to parent and things don't seem to be going very smoothly (which has to mean you're doing something wrong, right?). I have bit my tongue when a completely impractical suggestion is voiced, when I hear a trite, "you should try what so-and-so does. It works well for her" (and I have to remind myself in my head, "but so-and-so has one child"). It can get quite discouraging--even if I acknowledge the impracticality or difference in situation--to have it suggested that struggle is something we shouldn't be experiencing.

Sometimes (well, okay, most of the time) life is just hard and that's all there is to it. We have to prioritize and decide things like: is it more important to have a hopping social life or keep our sanity and a peaceful home? (Which can be a challenge no matter what we cut out). And yes, we do make it harder on ourselves by focusing on training our children, not just having them. Our hope is that the groundwork we lay in these early years will lighten the load of difficulty in later years. Would anyone ahead of me in this please speak to this hope?

Last summer, when we started getting out more after Haley was born, as we left a restaurant, a woman passing us said, "I remember when my three were that little. This is the easy part!" I found that comment severely disheartening. I did not know this woman or what her parenting philosophy was, and that would have been helpful to know in order to process her comment. Could it be that she was the type that just let her kids be and didn't train them or ask much of them until they were older, and that is when parenting became difficult? It isn't that I expect that after age four or five it will be smooth sailing, but I'd love to keep the hope that focusing on the heart and training our children in obedience will simplify and ease the difficulties in years to come. At the very least, I could have stood to hear her acknowledge that having three short ones is no small task, no matter how easy or hard it will get.

A few months ago, I was sitting in a group of four other moms when I was asked, "Didn't you say once that Claire likes to throw tantrums?" I was taken aback for three reasons: one, that it was worded that way--"Likes to." But, well, I couldn't argue. . . if she didn't like to, she wouldn't do it, so I acknowledged that yes, she does indeed like to throw tantrums. The next reason I was surprised was that in all the times that this mom had spent time with or around us (weekly for months), she had never been witness to even one of these very frequent tantrums. After a moment of silence, I proceded to ask the other moms, "Don't your kids throw tantrums?" (This was the other reason I was taken aback. I was truly surprised at their surprise that Claire threw tantrums.) The reply I got was mostly shaking of heads (as in, "no"!!!) One woman, appearing to reach waaaaay back into her memory, mentioned that her child did, once. ONCE!!!

I was floored. I'm still in shock about it. Can it be that in the five families and eleven children represented, mine are the ONLY ONES who have readily thrown tantrums at some point in their short lives? Sure, I would say that right now, we have two--sometimes three--strong-willed children, but as to them being exceptionally willful above the average child at his or her worst? I'm not sure I buy that. I have to wonder if the fact that their children didn't throw fits might have something to do with either their not requiring much of them, or not denying them anything. It is truly perplexing, and, for my own sanity, I filed that one away in the "I don't have enough information to make an assessment about this" file. It still baffles me today.

Well, I don't mean to end this post on such a negative note, but my brain is not cooperating anymore and another wonderful and challenge-filled day is fast approaching. And yes, this would be a very lame "Happy Birthday to Haley" post. I plan to do that in the next couple days, complete with pictures and updates on our precious one-year-old.

Though it may not mean much to most of my readership, I will sign off with a comment that, despite its generally depressing first impression, I found extremely reassuring this week. At Costco, I ran into a family friend who has--eleven? twelve? (I've lost count) children, who, in peering into my cart full of three short people sweetly said, "I remember having three. I remember crying a lot when I had three." Perhaps she remembered how much she needed encouragement back then and wanted to bless me that way. And I am encouraged. Especially when I think of all the other things she could have said ("just wait". . . "three is nothing". . . "three is cake". . . "try having eleven--or twelve") It made me take heart that even a mom of so many remembers the challenges of having a few little ones, and would word it that way (implying, I think, that it may not always be this hard). Dare I hope?

The Road to Reading Readiness

2009-05-21T22:28:00.003-06:00

Well, Ruby tried that alphabet activity at the beginning of this week (see previous post), and it is a hit with her! She has made it entirely through the alphabet section and wants to go on to the beginning to read section (and I have allowed her to do a few activities so far, which she has understood).

Claire also wanted to try the alphabet "games" and did so this afternoon as I prepared dinner. Let's just say that I don't think she's ready for the computer part of it. Otherwise, she did fairly well. A laptop's touchpad is not the thing for her to learn on, though.

Having seen much more of this resource this week, I still have a favorable view of what they offer and how user friendly it is for children. It is very logically set up, and Ruby has not had a hard time navigating her way from one page/activity to another. (I should probably mention that she has had virtually no web-surfing experience up to this point, though Case and I have worked with her a bit on using a mouse.)

My only wish is that they had a few more games and activities to choose from to "drill" a little more. I just don't know that she's completely ready to move on to the next level yet.

Great Online Resource

2009-05-16T02:21:00.006-06:00

I've just spent the last four hours researching the subjects of reading, writing, spelling, phonics and other things in that area and just came across this gem: Starfall.com

There are some fun activities on this site for young children, and it is very user friendly. Next week, I plan to have my oldest (4 1/4) start on this alphabet activity. This will be a very fun learning opportunity. I LOVE the internet! The activities I clicked on seem to be set up well for very young children to use. Of course, we have yet to try it with a child, but my guess is that someone put a great deal of thought and effort into this resource. Did I mention it is well-done? I am pleasantly surprised to find a website that is not only a great teaching accessory, but is nice-looking and devoid of "from-the-last-century" layout, artwork and links. (My research on almost any subject brings me to painfully outdated places. Why must so much good information be on archaic and horribly-done websites?) This is a breath of fresh air. Check it out!

Does Sacrifice Even Begin to Describe It?

2009-05-09T23:55:00.002-06:00

Motherhood, if it is done well, involves an insane amount of sacrifice.

Conveniently, (as Mother's Day is tomorrow) I have been recently noticing all the little things my own mother taught and instilled in me decades ago.

As I work with my three little girls, teaching them practical and everyday things, I am reminded of how much my mom poured into me, and how much of an easier transition I had into "real life" than the average girl because of all she taught me.

Take this morning: Ruby is helping me make breakfast and I ask her if she can remember how to mix waffle batter. Ironically, she answers, "Very thoroughly?" and I remind her that we want to mix batter very little so the waffles won't be tough. How do I know this? Because, once upon a time, I was the little girl learning lessons in the kitchen from my mother.

And a little later at the breakfast table: a mini-grammar lesson; explaining why we use the words "may I" or "will you," instead of "can" when we ask for something. I suddenly am struck with how frequently I pass along the little tidbits my mom once taught me. Be it an efficient way of doing something, the right way to apologize, or a Scripture verse set to music, I cannot count the number of times already in their short lives that I have responded to the question, "Who taught you that, Mommy?": "Nana taught me that when I was little."

By God's grace, I have my mom to thank for giving me a head start in every day living. Teaching me to do my own laundry from the time I was barely tall enough to put my clothes into the washer (with big sister helping); walking me through numerous aspects of baby and child care; including me in the cycle of daily chores and requiring that I help make dinner, menu plan and grocery shop, to name a few life skills. (Not to mention the formal education of homeschooling!)

About 10 years ago, as a counselor at a camp for high school and college students, I began to realize what a difference that upbringing made for me. At the front desk, I often had puzzled students in their teens and twenties ask how one goes about doing things like laundry, and it struck me that parents who don't teach their children simple things like this are doing them (and their children's spouses) a disservice. As if going out to the real world isn't hard enough, these parents compound the stress their children experience leaving home by not requiring them to learn simple life skills beforehand. So junior has to not only learn how to make it on his own, but how to do menial tasks that he could have learned and mastered years ago.

So parents who teach their children daily life skills have my respect, naturally. But my mom did so much more than just that. She is probably the most unselfish person I know. By her example she has taught me so much more than how to cook or diagram a sentence or set up a ratio (like that example, Mom?:). Throughout my life, I have seen her faithfully put her own needs (I'm not even talking desires) on the back burner in order to serve her family. Honestly, I have no idea how my parents raised all eight of us without going bonkers, and how my mom made it through those years with so much on her plate. Each day with my three girls gives me a small taste of what it must have been like, and my appreciation for her dedication grows the longer I have the privilege of being a mommy.

I can't end this post without expressing gratitude for another mom: my husband's. Sandy, you raised an amazing young man. Thank you for pouring yourself into your boys with such fervor and love. I am a happy benefactor of your years of hard work. Know that I appreciate you on a daily basis!

Happy Mother's Day, all you moms! Children don't always voice it, but we are indeed grateful for all your sacrifice and dedication. May God make all of us moms worthy of the task He's entrusted to us.

Six Years--A Tribute to My Hubby

2009-04-26T12:15:00.002-06:00

Have you heard the story about the couple, married for 30 years, who, while flying somewhere were asked by the flight attendant what it was like to be married that long? The husband said it "felt like five minutes," at which his wife smiled, until he finished the thought with ". . .under water."

I often get a chuckle remembering this story, and lately I've been asking couples who have been married a long time if it is indeed "five minutes under water." Some will laugh hysterically, then agree that it really does feel that way. I don't like it. Perhaps I'll stop asking.

The thing is, it makes a funny joke, but for it to be a reality, I think it's too sad to laugh about. It is amazing to me how many couples feel this way about marriage (or each other). This is not what marriage should be like. What does it say if you basically just tollerate each other for decades?

Casey and I celebrated our sixth anniversary recently. Though it isn't thirty years, it hasn't been five minutes either :) I am thankful for this. God has been so good to us. Bringing us together and shocking us with just how "down-to-the-last-detail" He was in placing us with one another. Every now and then (even now), I will gaze at him in amazement that he is mine, and that *I* have a husband! Of course, he usually responds to my amazement with, "I sure hope so. . . we have three children!"

My husband is my best friend. He is the one I go to first when I have wonderful news or need comfort or encouragement. His is the advice I seek first, and the (earthly) opinion that matters most to me. He alone knows things about me that I've never entrusted to anyone before.

Casey makes me laugh. Whether it is his go-getter attitude that causes him to think adding one more thing to his plate is just what he needs, or watching him as he watches a cheesy movie or crack up at his own jokes--I think he's hilarious.

Casey's our family's main breadwinner (Oh, wait. At the moment, he's our only breadwinner!) In this day of increasing stay-at-home hubbies, I am thankful that mine has decided to take on our family's financial burdens and not shoulder me with them. Thank you, dear. You know they would crush me!

Casey's a hard worker. He faithfully shows up to work, does more than what is expected of him and reaps the rewards of his commitment to excellence. Though you'll hear him say that all it takes to stand out in the crowd is to show up to work and do your job, he constantly exceeds the expectations of his co-workers, customers, managers and supervisors and is always among the top performers when it comes evaluation time. In the five years in his current job setting, he has annually been placed in the highest category regarding performance: that of Outstanding Contributer. I am very proud of him (can you tell?). I even ask to take a look at whatever I can about his reviews and interviews. Reading what others say about him gives me a shot in the arm that I'm not the only one who thinks he's great, and my respect and admiration for him grows with the reading of each comment and paragraph. Sigh. . .

The best part is that he doesn't just contribute outstandingly at work. Casey has a good balance of being "all there" at home, too. Except for a night or two each week, he works nine-hour days. He's just really good at managing his time. Those over him are more than happy with what he accomplishes in the time he is at work (often surprised); hardly ever ask him to stay late, and willingly allow him to take personal time when he is needed at home.

Yes, there will always be that entrepreneurial part of him that bites off more than it can chew (err, or the family can chew. I think he could manage it if it weren't for us!), but I am so thankful that he is willing to back off and say no to things if he sees it is too hard on the family. As time goes by, he is getting better and better at this, and for a couple years now he has proactively balanced his commitments (trading one for another, rather than adding) so as to keep a good margin in our marriage and family.

Casey is a kind, caring father to our three girls. He is often my example of patience and long-suffering. He calmly disciplines and lovingly tells them of their sin and need of a Saviour. At the tender ages of four, two and 11 months (not so much with her :), he shares life lessons and reasons for why they have certain rules. He encourages them to discuss or ask questions if they don't understand something. He lets them help him with tasks that would be easier done by himself. His example reminds me of the things I can work on and improve in my daily encounters with them.

I truly mean it when I say that Casey is the most wonderful man in the world. He really is a servant leader. He is kind. It matters to him if I am upset, confused or sad about something. So much so that he'll sacrifice sleep, comfort, you-name-it, in order to work things out. Even if it has nothing to do with him. He sees himself as my caretaker. As much as he'd probably rather do something (anything?) else, he gladly becomes my sounding board. And if we aren't able to work it out in the time we have, he'll ask if we can revisit it later. (And later actually happens :)

Case willingly jumps in and helps me with the girls, the dishes, dinner . . . is it any wonder I am head-over-heels for this guy? By all the little things he does throughout the day, the week. . . he keeps my passion for him alive and growing. I often feel as though I have a crush on him (most especially when he is super cheesy and immature. . . it makes me feel like we are 15 years younger and I really like this goofy guy).

My man is protective, but not jealous; kind, but not a pushover; strong, but not overbearing; a leader, but not a dictator; a husband, not a son; a provider, but not a workaholic. Conscientious about his person, but not vain; he's responsible, brave, honest, giving, thoughtful. A man of integrity, conviction and great character.

His example as a husband is such a good picture of Ephesians 5, and submission to such a husband is an honor, not drudgery. I willingly embrace it. Thank you for making it easy on me, My Only. I love you more each year we are together. May God grant us many more years of oneness.