Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pseudo-Update and TMI

Taking a break from a crazy last few weeks to check my e-mail and catch up on my blog-reading. Wow. You all have been busy a-bloggin'!

There really is so much going on that it wouldn't do to try to post about all of it. My little sis came down last week to show off her newest addition. And what do you know? She does have all her hair. I hope I got a few pics I can post later (it is such a blur, I really don't remember taking many). They were here about a week and I actually think I could tell a behavior difference in little Grady by the time they left on Monday. He seemed to last longer between feedings and wasn't quite as fussy in the evenings/nights. I hope that continues, Deb! Wouldn't it be nice to have a quiet, contented newborn? I'm sure you dream of that one day. Maybe on the next one. Not that you need to be thinking about a "next one" at the moment.

Today I had a friendly reminder that God is the one who opens and closes my womb. Unfortunately, that was not my first response upon noticing this monthly gift. A far more fleshly (i.e., grumpy) response was mine this morning as I pried my eyes open and tried to down some coffee to snap myself out of said bad mood. Contrary to what I had always heard (and hoped), cramps for me did not lessen in intensity once I gave birth. In fact, I would dare to say they have intensified (I really feel as if I'm in labor every month, only this contraction lasts all day with no break and after all that, I have no baby to show for it), and along with the cramps comes an anger I have not experienced prior to having had my first child.

Weepy, I've always been, but angry? That's a new PMS symptom since Ruby was born. And it, like the cramps, seems to intensify with time, as well. What will the next decade bring? I jokingly tell Casey maybe our "family planning" decisions will one day be permanently solved by a hysterectomy when either he or I give up trying to deal with this. This is the first time in years I have broken down and taken something for the cramps.

Usually, I see it as a practice session (and a very good one, I might add) to keep up on relaxation techniques in order to remain prepared for birth. But life with three children doesn't always accomodate a monthly two-day birth rehersal, so tonight and tomorrow I am taking Midol (I believe this is why I'm up, but at least I'm not hurting). I'll confess, it was a struggle all the way home from the store where I'd bought the drug: I felt very guilty taking something since I am still breastfeeding. This is the other reason I haven't taken drugs much at all since I got prego with Ruby. Almost without exception, I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 5 years. And in my mind, it seems logical that if I'm going to birth without drugs, I shouldn't expose my babies to drugs too-big-for-them beyond birth, either. (Yes, there is a lack of logic in my logic: that of continuing to consume caffiene throughout these same five years. Truly, I have a dizzying intellect, right?)

Plus, I think in general it is a good idea to listen to your body's cues. If I or my hubby has a headache, backache, etc., a massage, nap or bath is in order. All day, I had this fight in my head, that instead of bulldozing through, I should take it easy. But that's much easier said than done as a mom with little ones. It is much more realistic to just take something and pretend I'm not in this "condition" rather than try (and try is the operative word here) to rest and relax through my body's cues. Which is what I plan to continue at the zoo tomorrow (or today, I guess). It goes against what I believe to be smart, yet I really want to do something fun with my kiddos, so drugged I'll be, and happy they'll be. . . or ELSE!!!!

All kidding aside, Case was home sick today, and was able to help me quite a bit with the children as he worked from home. I do not believe it would have been pretty had he not been here. He did tease me that if he was going to do that every time--put a ton of time in for work as well as have a major role in caring for the children--he might just go to work next time he's sick! But he did admit he found it enjoyable and would love to work from home some day. I can't disagree. That sounds pretty great to me, too. We'll take him whenever we can. He's "The B E S T" (said in "Nacho Libre" fashion, of course).