Hello, Homeschooling!

This afternoon, we got our preschool curriculum shipment from Sonlight. And today, I guess, would be considered the start of our official homeschooling.

In the spring and summer, I periodically researched homeschool techniques and different approaches, different kinds of curricula. Being a perfectionist, these times of looking into homeschooling consisted of bursts of panicked research into one tiny part of one subject, usually about 5 or so hours at a time, at which point I became completely overwhelmed and decided to procrastinate (who would think procrastination and perfectionism go together so well, but believe me, they do!) and wouldn't look into it again for awhile.

This roller coaster went on all summer, until I realized there was a problem. At this rate and by this pattern, I was sure to never start homeschooling until I found all the "right" intricate little pieces, brought together by my own self after much deliberation and careful scrutiny (after all, that's how my mom did it . . . oh, yeah. She probably didn't start out that way . . . maybe she learned as she went. . . good idea. . . maybe I should try that. . . ). In other words, we would NEVER begin homeschooling.

A post by a woman whose blog I read caught my attention the other day. It was about a specific aspect of the classical approach to education. Though I had heard the term "classical" before, and people I respected used it quite frequently, I had no idea what it really meant. Well, Carletta's post was a starting point in another few hours of research, after which I became convinced that Sonlight was a great start for our little family (the post was not about Sonlight, but that's where I ended up). BTW: even after my research the other night, I'm not an expert on what makes an approach "classical;" go read her post to get an idea and some links to more information. Honestly, some people may not consider Sonlight "classical" at all, I don't know. If you have insight into this, please share!

Many of the homeschoolers we know use Sonlight, and recently, a few friends in particular shared why they chose it and why they stuck with it. One of the greatest things about it, from my point of view as a beginner, not knowing what I'm doing, is their guarantee of a complete refund if we don't find it a good fit for our family within a year of ordering and having completed 18 weeks or less of the curriculum.

The main thing that convinced me of the appropriateness of this curriculum for our family, and my personality specifically, was this page on their website, which lists 27 reasons it may not be a good fit. I went through that list (which is more sincere than I expected) and by the end of it, I was sold! A few minutes later, I asked Case if we could have a date in a few days to discuss my findings. He replied that if I felt that strongly about it, we should go ahead and order it! So I did on Wednesday, and it was delivered today (standard shipping!).

One of the pluses that I believe will be the reason we will do well with this curriculum is that it is extremely simple. It (as in, the preschool curriculum--I do not pretend to know anything about the upper levels) is very laid-back, with a concentration on enjoying learning through reading classic children's books. It is not the typical "classroom" approach (workbooks, etc.), which I find is not good for me or the girls, because I begin to feel the pressure in such a setting, and I then transfer that pressure to them. Doing "school" oftentimes leads to frustration, and all of us just wanting it to be over. I don't want to squelch their desire to learn, and this is a step in the right direction: they are learning without realizing it!

Though I don't think the overly structured classroom approach is my style, neither is "unschooling," and I had it in my head that it had to be one or the other. Sonlight is structured, but it is not a "we're going to learn, now, children!" type of structure. Nor is it an "if it's October and you're still doing September's work, you're behind!" type of schedule.

The structure is just what I need: a teacher's guide so I don't have to come up with my own lesson plans, yet I can pick and choose which things I will do to supplement our reading, and no actual dates or timeline. Just a checklist of which things to do in what order and ideas on extras that are simple, like building with blocks after reading a particular story.

I love checklists, just not schedules. I like to see that progress is being made, but I don't want to be reminded that it wasn't within the time allotted. And I love that on some days, our preschooling will be complete by reading aloud to them alone, and on other days, having them help make Malt-O-Meal to signify Goodnight, Moon's "bowl full of mush." This is something I can do. It is the kind of stuff I already do. It is not a stretch to see myself homeschooling with this curriculum, and I think that is an important thing to consider.

Of course, we are only one day into this, and my take may change as we delve deeper, but overall, I am quite comfortable with the choice of Sonlight, and that is much more than I can say for other things I've looked into and tried.

What I want to hold onto is my girls' absolute excitement about "school." I have no doubt that they will be the ones to nag me, "We need to do our school!"

I Was about to Post This to My Other Blog . . .

But after I finished typing it, I realized it belonged better here. And the post from this morning, which is on this blog, probably better belongs on my birth one. I'm getting confused. But I'm not going to think about it any more.

Plugging away at my Bradley certification. I have a little over a week before the 4 day workshop in Denver. Several people have advised me that the key to success in completing the Provisional Affiliate phase with Bradley is to finish the requirements and turn in the packet on the first day of the workshop so I can begin teaching right away.

Being a procrastinator, for the last four months, I have been lolling my way through a book or two here, a report or two there, and the occasional hospital evaluation. In July, I began to get more purposeful and am now tying up the loose ends (final drafts, tweaking formatting). The strangest thing is that I am not overwhelmed. I just keep plugging away though the work seems to stretch out longer and longer. This is not like me. Perhaps it is because I find the subject matter so interesting and because I am gleefully looking forward to teaching my first class, but I am usually getting pretty stressed by this point, figuring there's no way I'll be able to do it all.

At least that's how it is in my house most of the time. The girls and I have been home today to try to get the house back together, put away laundry, cook 20 pounds of chicken and catch up on dishes. And I've managed to cook the chicken and run a dishwasher load so far, but the house looks no better than it did yesterday. And I'm starting to give up on the "putting the house back together" idea as I sit here for a breather, the day half-over.

Case has been working long hours the last couple weeks. One night last week, he didn't get home till 2 a.m. (then promptly turned around to go back at 7 a.m.). Today, he packed some clothes in case it gets late enough that he should just stay the night. The project they're working on should be done in another month or so.

Funny thing is that though it is not exactly great timing, in some ways it is the perfect timing. He's not home most evenings, which makes it more conducive for me to study and catch up on certification work. And I don't feel as badly if the house is in utter disarray (which it has been more than a few times), since he is not here to see it much. I am able to enjoy some time with the girls during the day, knowing that I have a chunk of time to work on my homework after they go to bed. (Much of my stress, I find, comes from feeling like I'm being prevented from doing what I should be doing. Of course, this would be faulty thinking on my part to feel like my children are "in the way" of me doing my "real work," but it really helps to have time carved out for such a purpose. It doesn't hang over me like a huge weight like it would if I were just trying to fit it in here and there.)

The last few weeks, Case and I have reinstated my weekly "night off," which kinda went by the wayside after about a month of doing it in May. Being able to get away has contributed a great deal to my progress with the reading and reports. Strange how a few hours away from home can make such a dent in a pile of work. Oh, and it also refreshes me to have a break from parenting once in a while. Sometimes, just an hour or two will help me regain the desire to jump back in with newness of purpose and passion. But if it's been too long since I've had a break, as my dear friend has observed, by the time we realize I need a break, I am already "broken." The key is to catch it before it gets that bad. Otherwise I feel like I need a few days away, not just an hour.

Claire and Haley are up and we're going to fold the laundry and cut up and freeze the chicken. Well, maybe just I will.

Perfectionism is a Tough Habit to Break

So many things have been going on this past week. I have no idea where to start. My brain is thinking many things, and I'm just going to say that this list will in no way flow, and that's going to have to be okay with me. The girls have another cold as of late last week, and it's creating more night waking, even among usually good sleepers and I'm pretty much ready to have a good 6 hour stretch of straight sleep . . . please! I have a whole post dedicated to this topic. As to whether or not it will ever get written and posted, I cannot tell.

Sandy, my MIL (also sick :() is in town this week as well. What? Yes, she was here last month, and had a free ticket that had an expiration date and we were her choice in all the destinations she could have picked. Okay, it isn't that amazing, but we are honored, nonetheless. Even though she sounds and feels terrible, she has been such a help and a blessing to our family.

Today, having Sandy here helped me quickly jet (by myself!) to Walgreens and do my first couponing assignment: pick up all six items at Walgreens that end up being free after rebate (and by the way, I'm LOVING that I can submit the rebate so VERY quickly online, instead of in the mail.) I have nothing to report about the actual savings yet, but theoretically, I should be receiving my Walgreens gift card in the next couple weeks worth what the items cost plus 10%. I then will use it for my next purchase of free or next-to-free items. Sounds easy enough, right?

To tell the truth, when I read the assignment for this week, I thought it sounded so easy that I should go ahead and try to do a little more. A couple hours later, confused and frustrated (where in the ad is this item that is supposedly on sale? Why does this coupon link say the offer is expired?) I got offline and decided to just take baby steps. I know. Novel idea, right? This is a problem I have. I see that something is simple and think: how can I make it more complicated? Not that that actually crosses my mind, but I get carried away with what "could be" and end up burning out before I've done what I was supposed to, forget all my other plans. I have to remind myself with this couponing thing: "I am not a coupon maven. I may be one day, but I am not one right now. Just do what you're told. Don't add anything." So next week, I'll stick to the assignment only.

Well, there are many things on my list of what I want to blog, but alas, it is almost 9 p.m. and that is my new bedtime. (Silence) . . . (pin dropping). I know. You're wondering how long I'll keep it up. I have no idea. But my guess is that I may not be blogging much while I try to get into this new routine. This is truly a stretch for me to go to bed several hours before I'm accustomed to "retiring," but one good thing is that sleep helps keep one healthy, and as of this moment, I am the only healthy human being in the household, and it would be really wonderful for all of us if I could stay that way.

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

Most of my life, I've wondered how on earth I could be a perfectionist, when my life and surroundings are so far from perfect.

And what of the mess in at least one room of my house at all times? Years ago, I wouldn't have believed it was due to perfectionist tendencies.

Alas, I am an all-or-nothing person. Since I was a child, I would start cleaning my out-of-control room by pulling everything out of my drawers or closet and begin organizing from the inside out. But I always ran out of steam long before I even put my drawer/closet contents back, and the ensuing mess was all-the-more discouraging, so I would not try to clean my room again for quite some time.

I am not proud to admit that my life today is not much different. Tuesday afternoon, as I was cleaning house, I caught myself organizing two drawers in an effort to fit a blanket that I wanted to put away (all-the-while, my house is aflame with a dozen visible "hotspots"--a term for horizontal surfaces that call me to pile more and more stuff there). I don't even realize how far I'm going out of the way of my first intentions until I find that one thing that started the cascade of insanity hours later, while wondering how I can be so tired and yet cannot point to one thing I have accomplished today. "And why isn't that blanket put away, either? I should have at least done that!"

My friend once told me I reminded her of the farmer who went to plow the lower forty (but he noticed the barn door was coming off its hinges, so he went to fix it, but then found that one of his tools wasn't working right, so he started to fix that. . . on and on until the sun had set and he realized he did not do anything all day). My friend was so right! I have to keep on top of myself, or I will inadvertently start doing this; it's in my nature.

Which is why I have decided to take up FLYing once again. (Of course this comment from my husband helped: "You were at the top of your game a couple years ago when you were doing FlyLady.")

As much as I don't agree with the whole "F.L.Y." thing (the theory that the reason we sidetracked people have problems is because we haven't yet learned the art of "Finally Loving Yourself." LOL! As my friend, LC says, "I was pretty fond, actually.") it is what has made a difference in my "if I can't do everything, I won't do anything" thinking, which is (for me) where most of the battle lies.

No, I really don't think it has to do with needing to love myself. That is an inborn human trait that is nothing to be proud of and is certainly not necessary to work toward. (Can I get an amen?) Rather, my problem is about having skewed priorities and overthinking, instead of just doing. You people who know me are smiling at how true this is, aren't you?

I am starting with even babier steps than she gives to help my thinking be more and more "can do" instead of "I don't have time to clean the world, so I'm not going to bother sweeping around the table." Just setting the timer and doing her fifteen minute challenges is so helpful and keeps me focused. "I am emptying the dishwasher, not making tea for dinner or hanging up Ruby's jacket. I am emptying the dishwasher," I remind myself in my head.

Any born organized person is probably perplexed at the need for a system to get me to start something. It might sound strange, but people like me go about ten steps ahead (in our minds) of what we're about to do and get discouraged before we even start.

This is how my mind works in regard to cleaning the house: "I need to vacuum (the entire house), but I want to dust (the entire house) before I do that, and there are toys and things all over the carpet (in the entire house) that I need to pick up. If I vacuum, it only makes sense to not allow dirt to be tracked from one kind of flooring to another, therefore I need to clean the hard floors, too (of course all the hard floors in the entire house: if I'm getting out the mop and water, I need to make it worth my time). So I'd better make sure that I sweep the front and back porches so we don't track in dirt from the outside, but I simply do not have hours to do this, so I'll have to wait till later."

This is actually a simplified list of what goes on in my head. All cleaning ends up being connected, and I hope it is understood that I was not joking about my all-or-nothing thinking. I literally think that way.

So Flylady helps get my rear in gear and when I start to see that one thing actually does make a difference, I am encouraged to do more here and there, which, when added up sure looks like a clean house!