Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Herd Overheard

Claire (doing fancy moves on the elliptical machine): “Mom, look!”

Me: “Wow.  What a great trick.”

Claire: “You should sell us to the trick store.”  3/25/11


(On the phone with her grandma, discussing Sandy’s upcoming birthday)

Ruby: “But how much will you be, Lita?  ‘Cause I’m guessing you’ve run out of fingers.”  4/5/11


Ruby, telling me about needing to pass some jeans down to Claire:

“My legs are getting fatter; like yours, probably.”  4/13/11


Claire: “Mom, what’s a birth stone?  Is it a stone you take a birth on?”  4/20/11


Claire, eating monster mouths (sliced apples w/peanut butter and marshmallows): “I call this marshmallow ‘Grandma,’ ‘cause it’s old and crusty.”  4/21/11


Claire: “Haley, doesn’t that dress itch you?”

Haley: “Yes.”

Claire: “Then why are you still wearing it?”

Haley: “Because I have to dance.”  4/23/11


Haley (at bedtime): “Mom, can you kiss me? . . . since I just can’t kiss myself.”  4/26/11


Me: “Did you know that chicks come out of eggs?”

Ruby: “We knew that for years.”  4/27/11


Haley, sitting on a pile of library books: “I’m hiding these since I can’t trust Ian.  He will drool over them and ruin them all up.”  4/28/11  (“Since” has been one of Haley’s favorite words this last year.)


(Background: I have 3 different kinds of towels in the kitchen—each with its own use.  Claire had just washed her hands and I was telling her which towel to use.)

Me: “Here.  This one’s the hand towel.”

Claire: “Hmm.  Which one is the foot towel?”  4/28/11


Me: “Is this Haley’s toothbrush?”

Ruby: “Let me see. . . I have a special way to tell. . . (long pause). . . if it’s ruined, it’s Haley’s.”  5/1/11


Haley to her dad:  “I’m growing boogers on my shirt!”  5/1/11


Haley (proud of herself): “Mom, I hugged Ian like a normal person!”  5/2/11


Claire, obviously searching for something.

Me: “What are you looking for?”

Claire: “I heard something over here that sounded like a toad’s foot.”  5/1/11


Ruby: “I am a lazy bird.  No one can stop me.”  (Ruby went on to express that being lazy is doing nothing.  Ever. All the time.)  5/5/11


Claire, showing me a tall stack of blocks.  “Mom, look!”

Me: “Wow.  That’s a big tower.”

Claire: “It’s not a tower, it’s a dad.”  5/7/11


Ruby: “Mom, it hurts my ears when Claire screams like a crocodile bit off her arm.”  3/10/11 (Ruby, you’re not alone.)


Ruby, pointing to the roof of her mouth: “My top lung hurts.”  5/23/11


(The kids are all in the shower together.)

Me: “Ruby, would you please wash Ian?”

Ruby: “Mom, I love washing Ian.  It’s like washing a pig.”  5/25/11


Casey (After Haley runs into a wall): “What hurts?”

Haley: “My owie!”  5/25/11


At the drive-thru: “That'll be $3.05 at the window.”

Claire (with interest): “Did she say, ‘I’ll climb out the window?”  6/7/11


Claire: “Mom, I just love watching you . . . but it’s kinda boring.”  6/18/11


Claire, pensively recollecting a statement she’d heard after watching a ballerina’s dancing presentation: “She said she danced with her whole body, but she didn’t dance with her eyes or her lips.”  (Pause.)  “And she didn’t dance with her nose, either.”  6/21/11


Sharing what we’re thankful for, Claire is excited that Ian will grow up to be a man because he can get married.

Casey: “You should hope that when he grows up, he’ll stand up for his big sisters.”

Claire, nonplussed: “He already does stand up for us.  Lots of times.”  6/25  (Do we have another literal thinker in the house, or what?!)

Claire, discussing love with Ruby: “I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love.” (Pause.)  “But I might have fallen in love with Daddy.  And I might have fallen in love with Ian.”  6/27/11


Claire, handing the phone to me: “Daddy wants to talk to you again. I think he must be falling in love with you again.” 6/30ish/11


Claire, commenting on the upside of getting soap in one’s eyes: “Well, after you get the soap out, at least your eyes will smell good.”  7/6/11


I was explaining to the girls several of the qualities of breastmilk that make it such a perfect food for babies.

Claire (with surprise): “It’s alive?!?  You mean it can walk around and it has a nose?”  7/6/11


Ruby and Claire, playing “finding a baby”

Claire: “Pretend you saw me and I was so cute.”

“And pretend you took off my headband, and I was even cuter.”  7/6/11


Christina said...

Oh Sarah, these make me laugh :)

I love how kids can say exactly what's on their mind. Sometimes it sounds mean, but kids always get away with it.
Like when one of the boys I nanny asked my why my mom looks so old. I personally don't think she looks old. But I guess she does look older than their mom. ha.

I've started (at least I've been trying to) write down some of the hilarious things that the boys I nanny say.

Karin said...

Look at you posting!

I love these - there are so many favorites. The funny things they say continues to expand as they get older and you have more talkers in your house.

Love you!

Karin Sharp said...

Hilarious Sarah! I needed a good laugh this morning:)

Debo said...

My word! So funny! I love the idea about birthing *on something. Is that like taking a you know what? Hilarious children.

Rebecca said...

You know, Sarah, I think the fact that you REMEMBER your kids' funnies is wonderful, but I do think your kids might be a little funnier than all others. :-)

L said...

These are great!! I love the one about washing a pig, and also the fat legs. AWWW!!