The Herd Overheard

Claire, after taking a bite out of a donut: “It’s like a Boppy!”  9/27/10

Ruby, playing with magnetic letters (as though they are people—nothing is safe from becoming an action figure at our house):
“We had leg surgery tomorrow.  That’s why we tip over.”  9/27/10

Haley, as the blender startles 3-mo. Ian, making him cry:
“Mom!  Don’ scare Ian a smoothie! I don’ wike it!”  9/30/10

Claire, tattling: “Haley hit me with a rock!”
(after a pause)
“It’s a beautiful rock, but that was unkind.”  (Claire loves rocks) 10/13/10

Claire, when asked if the report was true that she’d scratched and hit Haley:
(Emphatically) “No!  I did NOT!  I only slapped her face!”  10/14/10

Haley (with a cold):  “I need to blow my nose, Mom, because my nose is coming out.”  10/14/10
also: “My nose is running out,” and “I just have a nose in my boogers.”  10/19/10

Claire, coloring a fish-in-an-aquarium-picture:  “This is gonna be mold at the bottom, just like in our bathtub.”  10/16/10

Ruby, wistfully: “I love pets.  All I have is pet bugs, but I want to have a pet what could stay alive all winter.”  10/25/10

Claire, during calendar time, noticing there aren’t many more days left in October: “When we run out of days, will we die?”  10/26/10

Claire, after I was gruff with Haley: “Mom, you’re not supposed to do that.  Remember, you need to let the peace of God rule in your heart, and be thankful?”  10/27/10

Ruby, having wished on a star the night before: “Mom, my wish didn’t come true, to fly up in a basket.  That’s too bad.”  11/1/10

Claire, holding a wooden spoon from their kitchen set: “This is my gun.  It’s automatic.”  11/1/10

Ruby, explaining to me what she meant when she came in from playing outside and told me she was “soaking hot.”
“It means I have tears coming out of me for having two jackets on.”  11/14/10

Serving the girls slices of the apple cinnamon bread brought by the neighbor:
Me: “Wasn’t it kind for Daddy to fix Sharon’s laptop, and wasn’t it kind for her to bake Daddy some bread?”
Claire, puzzled: “How did she make her laptop into bread?”  11/17/10

Claire, in pain: “Two of my ears are hurting.”  11/29/10

Ruby, coloring with me: “I still have more imaginations to color.”  11/29/10

Haley, singing (to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb): “Mary had a muffin man, muffin, man, muffin maaaan. . .    12/1/10

Haley, playing with her pretend camera (batteries dying): “Oh!  My cheeseball is broken!”  12/10/10

Ruby, discussing our trip to Colorado: “It’s gonna take forever till we get to the ‘nother world . . . . . . Mom, get ready for this hard trip, because it will be a disaster.”  12/13/10

Haley: “Mommy!  I burp!”
Me: “Yes.  What do we say when we burp?”
Haley: “Thank you, burp.”  1/2/11

Claire: “Last time we went to church, I forgot my notebook, so I had to just sit there with my rock.”   1/2/11

Reviewing yesterday’s science experiment on matter:
Me: “Was the ice solid, liquid or gas?”
Ruby: “It had a shape and you could hold it. . . . .  It was a solid.”
Claire (whose eyes have a light-bulb-over-the-head-look):
“Poop is a solid.”  1/13/2011

Haley, upon hearing the telephone ring:
“It’s Mr. Daddy.”  1/28/11

(While Claire and Ruby play that they are moms.)
Me: “How many kids do you have?”
Claire: “Just two.”
Me: “And how do you like that?”
Claire: “Good. ‘Cause if I had three, I’d be like, ‘I need to sell one of these kids. . .’”
Ruby: “If I had three, I would say, ‘I’m so nervous, I have to put one of you to bed.’”  (For the record, I have never said either of these. )  2/9/11

Claire (to Haley, who is wearing a dress-up dress): “May I have a turn wearing that?”
Haley: “No, Claire.  First I have to marry to Ian.”  3/1/11

Daddy to the girls as they discuss police officers: “I was riding in a car that was pulled over today.  Do you know what two people weren’t wearing in that car?”
Ruby: “Clothes?”  (Also for the record, the correct answer was seatbelts.) 3/1/11

Haley (making small-talk while I change her diaper): “I don’t like to eat my poop.” 3/6/11

Claire (looking out the window of  a crowded restaurant): Dad, Look!  That person’s smoking!”
Ruby: “But they’re already old.  They’re probably going to die soon anyway.”  3/3/11

Haley (stepping out into the pungent country air at a friend’s house): “Somebody pooped out here.”
{demandingly} “Who pooped out here?!?”
{more demandingly, as we make it to the car} “Who did it!?!?!”  3/14/11

Haley (pretending one action figure is speaking to another): “Do you know the muffin man?”  3/19/11

Haley (after having tooted while eating her lunch):
“S’cuse me.  That was my carrot tooting.”  3/14/11